The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 1×2
Lenny: It's a terrible, terrible job. It should not exist. Like cancer and God. ....
Midge: But do you love it?.... Yeah. He loves it.
Midge: I got bailed out on the night I got arrested. It's almost like it didn't even happen.
Lenny: But it did happen.
Midge: But very quickly.
Lenny: Be your own lawyer.
Midge: I-I don't know what to do.
Lenny: Well, it's morning. Go have breakfast.
Imogene: It's always those girls. Those shorthand girls. Girls who go to secretarial school and learn shorthand, and that gives them entre to our husbands. And once they have entre to our husbands, our husbands entre right into them.
Moishe: Your mother-in-law called and said the whole family is so ill that break fast is canceled. So ill, the holiest of holy days cannot happen.
Joel: If it's so holy, why do you keep the factory open?
Moishe: You want a smack in the face?
Joel: I'm just saying.
Moishe: Those people get paid by the piece. You want to take a day's work away from them? God wants them to go hungry because I shut my doors?
Moishe: Half of those people out there are gentiles. You go explain Yom Kippur to a gentile. "We're happy, but we're starving. It's New Year's, but we're guilty."
Moishe: Hey! That roll of pink tulle you're dragging across the ground... it's French. Do you know what else is French? The guillotine!
Abe: Could have doesn't count. Maybe doesn't count. "I took a shot" doesn't count. Because this room is a sanctuary from the variables in the outside world. In this room, we deal with absolutes. Period.
Abe: These two vectors are collinear. They go... together. And they will always go together. This is the solemn vow made by mathematics. In this room, v-two is never going to break that vow and decide that it doesn't need the other vector anymore, that it's gonna run off and become linearly independent. V-two is never going to come home from work one day and tell v-one, "You know what? "I think I need my own vector space. See ya." And then v-one's dad has to come in and tell her, "No, you can't let v-two do that. You-you got to go get v-two back," an impermanent solution, because v-one's dad is not gonna be around forever to solve all of v-one's problems... Write that down.
Rose: Abe got up this morning and went to work. The world could be ending, and he'd get up and go to work. And if Columbia University fell into the ocean, he'd work from home.
Drina: Paris is wonderful, but it's good Midge didn't go. There was danger for her there. Too much bread.
Susie: What? Where are we going? Why am I touching this child? Why is this child touching me? Why is his hand sticky? Why is your hand sticky? Where has his hand been that it is now currently very sticky?
Susie: Sit where? Here? What, on this? Are you kidding me? I'm not sitting in here. This is not furniture for sitting! This is furniture you get appraised when a rich uncle dies. You really should put plastic over all of this.
Rose: I tried to warn you. You have so many nines in your number...
Rose: You're a single woman now. That's what every dinner's for.
Midge: Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholme. That's Russian, motherfucker!
And here we go...
Midge: It's the bras, right? It's the bras. And the... the girdles and the corsets, all designed to cut off the circulation to your brain, so you walk around on the verge of passing out, and you look at your husband, and he tells you things, and you just believe them.
Midge: You've heard about the shorthand girls? These are girls whose skill in life is not writing full sentences. Meanwhile, I went to college to learn Russian. And speaking of vodka, why don't they serve booze here?
Midge: You look offended. I don't mean to offend the delicate. I-I used to be delicate. I was delightful. I was a goddamn flower. I smelled like roses, and sunshine shone out of my ass. What? I said sunshine!
Midge: I'll admit, I would like to repeatedly kick every man in here in the balls over the course of the next several hours. I won't, though. I am still a lady. And a lady never kicks men repeatedly in the balls for longer than 20, 30 minutes tops. Because then their girdles start to draw blood.
Midge: That's the end of my show, folks. Tune in next week, when my grandmother steals my pearls and fucks my boyfriend. Five! Let's go, Peluso.
Susie: That's my client... We charge for pictures now.
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