Mrs. X at the Gaslight

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 1×6

Susie: So, you're sorry?
Midge: Sure.
Susie: Good. It's behind us.

Vivian: I have no idea what people of their age do at parties. My mom keeps saying the word canapés. Is that an old people's dance?
Midge: It's a type of hors d'oeuvre.
Vivian: You always know everything, so any tips would help.
Midge: Hire help.

Abe: May I stop you there?.. I want no part of Sputnik panic.

Rose: So, you're going to another party... That's the fourth one this week, isn't it?
Midge: Four this week, three last week. Which, of course, means they've already seen everything in my closet. Enter yours.

Susie: Why would anyone in their right mind go to parties? I mean, just buy some Sno Balls and a beer, and take the subway at rush hour, same fucking thing.

Midge: Me, personally, I-I was never great at gift-giving. Maybe it's because I never got to celebrate Christmas. I got Hanukkah. Doesn't exactly prepare you the same way. For Christmas, a gentile would get a bike as a reminder that their parents love them. For Hanukkah, we would get socks as a reminder that we were persecuted.

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Rose: There are a thousand restaurants in the city... what are the odds?
Abe: One in sixteen thousand, four hundred fifty...
Noah: Twelve thousand, three hundred...
Abe: I'm taking into account weather effects, that some restaurants are closed on Mondays...
Noah: Yeah, yeah, but I'm calculating differentials in geography, quality...
Midge: We get it, guys, the odds are low.

Astrid: Chief rabbi of Hoboken! Have you ever seen a Hirchensohn?
Midge: To be honest, I've never seen rabbi trading cards.
Astrid: Oh, one of the wonders of Israel. That and Shabbat on a kibbutz.

Noah: I don't know what to do with her. When she gets something in her head... like the whole converting thing. She had to sign up for the accelerated conversion package. Goy to Jew in three weeks or less. Classes, rituals, and weird baths in basements, and, oh, my God, so much challah.
Midge: I remember.
Noah: All to impress Mama.
Midge: Who doesn't eat bread.
Noah: And if I have to go to Israel one more time...
Midge: Just, please, till death do you part.

Lew Fogelman: What kind of contract you got with her?
Susie: Same kind of contract you got with your nuts... there's two of us and we're attached.

Midge: Babka.
Susie: Bourbon.
Midge: Oh, I like that combination.

Susie: There, there... Better?

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