Wayne: What's that?
Shirley: It's a cactus, innit?
Wayne: Oh.
Shirley: Guess what its name is.
Wayne: Don't know.
Shirley: Thatcher. 'Cause it's a pain in the arse. Prongs you every time you walk past it.
Shirley: That bit's Denis. That's Bollock, Dick, Turd, Brains. That's Willy. That's Knob. They've all got names.
Shirley: Sleep tight.
Wayne: Hope the fleas don't bite.
Mrs Bender: Do you think I could use your toilet?
Lætitia: Ah, the lavatory. Yah, I'll show you where it is in a minute.
Cyril: Where's my mum?
Rupert: Ah! Now, look here, I really have no idea where your mother is, who she may be, or indeed, whether you have one.
Rupert: Now, what made this country great was a place for everyone, and everyone in his place. And this is my place.
Cyril: "The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways. The point, however, is to change it."...
Shirley: Oh, look. There's the chairman of the South African Communist Party here... Oh, sempervivums. I've got these in the back room at home. They're succulents.
Cyril: The thing is, change what? It's a different world now, innit?
Shirley: That ivy could do with a bit of a prune.
Cyril: By the year 2000, there'll be 36 TV stations,
Shirley: They've planted them trees right on top of them graves.
Cyril: Pissing in the wind, innit?
Shirley: Tell me what you want.
Cyril: Don't tell me what to say.
Shirley: I ain't telling you, I'm asking you.
Cyril: I can't say. It's too obvious... Too complicated...
Shirley: Go on.
Cyril: It sounds stupid. I want everyone to have enough to eat... I told you!.. Places to live, jobs.
Shirley: Don't we all?
Cyril: Then you have babies. I ain't gonna get what I want though, am I?
Shirley: No.
Shirley: The world ain't ever gonna be perfect.
Cyril: Here he is, the jerk in the Merc.
Shirley: No, the wanker in the tanker.
Cyril: The weasel in the diesel.
Martin: Four-eyed fucking moron!
Cyril: You talking to me?
Martin: No, not you, Cyril. Your bleedin' sister.
Cyril: Fair enough.
Cyril: I'll be 70 in 2026, if we're all still here... That'll be the centenary of the General Strike.
Shirley: What? I'll be 35 in June. If we have a kid this year, when you're 70, he'll be 35. Or she.
Cyril: Are you scared of getting old?
Shirley: A bit. Are you?
Cyril: Don't know. I'm scared of looking back.
Shirley: What do you mean?
Cyril: From 25 to 35... Best years of your life, aren't they?
Shirley: And what about after that?
Cyril: Downhill.
Shirley: What, all the way?
Cyril: I'm scared of getting bitter.
Shirley: You won't get bitter.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Shirley: It's a cactus, innit?
Wayne: Oh.
Shirley: Guess what its name is.
Wayne: Don't know.
Shirley: Thatcher. 'Cause it's a pain in the arse. Prongs you every time you walk past it.
Shirley: That bit's Denis. That's Bollock, Dick, Turd, Brains. That's Willy. That's Knob. They've all got names.
Shirley: Sleep tight.
Wayne: Hope the fleas don't bite.
Mrs Bender: Do you think I could use your toilet?
Lætitia: Ah, the lavatory. Yah, I'll show you where it is in a minute.
Cyril: Where's my mum?
Rupert: Ah! Now, look here, I really have no idea where your mother is, who she may be, or indeed, whether you have one.
Rupert: Now, what made this country great was a place for everyone, and everyone in his place. And this is my place.
Cyril: "The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways. The point, however, is to change it."...
Shirley: Oh, look. There's the chairman of the South African Communist Party here... Oh, sempervivums. I've got these in the back room at home. They're succulents.
Cyril: The thing is, change what? It's a different world now, innit?
Shirley: That ivy could do with a bit of a prune.
Cyril: By the year 2000, there'll be 36 TV stations,
Shirley: They've planted them trees right on top of them graves.
Cyril: Pissing in the wind, innit?
Shirley: Tell me what you want.
Cyril: Don't tell me what to say.
Shirley: I ain't telling you, I'm asking you.
Cyril: I can't say. It's too obvious... Too complicated...
Shirley: Go on.
Cyril: It sounds stupid. I want everyone to have enough to eat... I told you!.. Places to live, jobs.
Shirley: Don't we all?
Cyril: Then you have babies. I ain't gonna get what I want though, am I?
Shirley: No.
Shirley: The world ain't ever gonna be perfect.
Cyril: Here he is, the jerk in the Merc.
Shirley: No, the wanker in the tanker.
Cyril: The weasel in the diesel.
Martin: Four-eyed fucking moron!
Cyril: You talking to me?
Martin: No, not you, Cyril. Your bleedin' sister.
Cyril: Fair enough.
Cyril: I'll be 70 in 2026, if we're all still here... That'll be the centenary of the General Strike.
Shirley: What? I'll be 35 in June. If we have a kid this year, when you're 70, he'll be 35. Or she.
Cyril: Are you scared of getting old?
Shirley: A bit. Are you?
Cyril: Don't know. I'm scared of looking back.
Shirley: What do you mean?
Cyril: From 25 to 35... Best years of your life, aren't they?
Shirley: And what about after that?
Cyril: Downhill.
Shirley: What, all the way?
Cyril: I'm scared of getting bitter.
Shirley: You won't get bitter.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
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