The Wedding Squanchers

Rick and Morty 2x10

Jerry: The trick to cereal is keeping 70% above the milk.
Beth: Jerry, get a job.

Rick: It's a courier flap. It's like the intergalactic version of UPS, but less off-putting.

Rick: Weddings are basically funerals with cake. If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away, I'd hang out with Jerry all day.

Beth: I want you to stand in the corner and face the corner and talk to nobody.

Birdperson: The guest list at this wedding includes 17 of the Federation's most wanted. We have committed numerous atrocities in the name of freedom...

Rick: Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe because I'm the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.

Rick: I haven't been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn't make it work, and I could turn a black hole into a sun, so at a certain point, you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves because we're afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die — alone.

Rick: All the important points seem pretty clear, no? They think they control the galaxy, I disagree. Don't hate the player, hate the game, son.

---

Rick: Fuck you, Summer, and fuck the government, and fuck me for letting my guard down, which I will never do again.

Rick: Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise. Fuck Earth. You realize our planet's name means dirt, right?

Rick: Computer, how many planets in the Milky Way are at least 90% similar to Earth?
Computer: 765 known planets.
Rick: How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?
Computer: Three.
Rick: See? Our cup runneth over.

Rick: Look at this baby! Would you even know that wasn't Earth?
Morty: Yes, because there's no Africa.
Rick: Pssh. White people problems, Morty.

Rick: South Pole discovered, baby!

Rick: Morty, if you go to where there's a bunch of ice cream and then you don't come back, you haven't actually gotten ice cream, you've just gone where ice cream is.

Inmate # 1: Hey, what are you in for?
Rick: Everything.

Mr. Poopybutthole: On, boy, oh. my! That's a real crazy ending, huh? .... Tune in to "Rick and Morty" season three in, like, a year and a half... or longer to see how we unravel this mess. Ooh-Whee!

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
+ Reddit on Rickandmorty