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Silicon Valley 3×9

& Laurie: Yes. Tables. I see. It’s a metaphor. It’s a wonderful ad spot.
    Erlich: Yeah. We’re all just tables.

& Richard: Let me, uh, let me just take a step back here and explain it in a simpler way. Um, sorry, what was your name?
    Bernice: Bernice.
    Richard: Bernice. What did you have for breakfast today?
    Bernice: Scrambled eggs.
    Richard: Scrambled eggs. And what’s in the eggs?.. Electrons. Right? And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals..... Multivalent states? No? No one knows this? Okay. Okay, that’s fine. Bad example. That’s on me.

& Richard: This goes way beyond autocomplete. Actually, all of your devices will begin helping each other in ways that we can’t even design or predict.
    Clark: Okay, but see, the problem is... Terminator.
    Richard: What? No. No, no. No, no, no. No. I can assure there is no Skynet type of situation here. No. Pied Piper will in no way become sentient and try to take over the world.
    Clark: He just told us he couldn’t predict it.

& Dinesh: So... we’re tanking, and it’s because we’re too good.
    Richard: That’s one way of looking at it.

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& Dinesh: We simplify it.
    Richard: Well, we can’t. It’s not as if I don’t want to, it’s just that we literally can’t do it. Um, if you build an airplane and people are afraid of anything that flies, you can’t just take the wings off of it, because, at that point, all you’re left with is a really slow, super expensive shitty bus. No, uh, we built an airplane, we got to fly it.
    Gilfoyle: What’s the point of flying if it’s fucking empty?

& Jared: I guess it’s about $697,240. But don’t quote me on that.

& Erlich: Shut up! You ungrateful pricks, all of you. Your tepid response to our intrepid boss makes me ill.

& Gavin: Pied Piper’s loss is Hooli’s gain. May the best product win.

& Erlich: What in the name of fuck is that?
    Richard: Well, his name is Pipey. The Pied Piper Piper.

& Dinesh: So, Richard, you want us to take the most sophisticated and technically complex compression based platform ever created and... add that?

& Jared: You know, a lot of animated characters have rough starts. Early Bugs Bunny cartoons were just garish displays of anti-Japanese hysteria, and now he’s the face of Warner Bros.

& Richard: Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong.

& Richard: It’s over, Jared.

& Gavin: Consider the elephant... Legend has it its memory is so robust it never forgets. And I assure you, gentlemen of the Hooli board, and lady... neither do I.

& Erlich: Richard, you pulled us out of a nosedive. Of course, inevitably, we will run out of fuel and plummet towards the Earth, leaving only a crater behind of torn flesh and excrement, but in the meantime, we are flying high!

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On the IMDb