The One with Joey's Porsche

Friends 6×5

Rachel: Oh, I cannot believe that you didn't tell me we are still married.
Ross: Look, I was going to tell you.
Rachel: When? After the birth of our first secret child?

Ross: Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision... but I couldn't face another failed marriage.
Chandler: Let me just jump in and ask. At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?

Ross: Rach, come on. If you think about it, it's actually kind of funny... Okay, maybe it's best not to think about it.

Joey: Oh, hey, someone left their keys. Ooh, to a Porsche. Hey, Gunther, are these yours?
Gunther: Yeah. That's what I drive. I make 4 bucks an hour. I saved up for 350 years.

Rachel: Why? Why did you do this?
Ross: Look, I told you... I don't wanna hear "three failed marriages." Look, if you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand.
Rachel: Well, you know what? Thanks to you, I'm halfway there.

Chandler: You know what, Pheebs? When you're done over there, we've got a kind of situation over here too.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. No. We are all responsible for our own babies.
Chandler: See, that's where I think you're wrong. We've been playing them man-to-man. We should really be playing a zone defense.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Chandler: I just think things will go smoother... if we each have our own zone, you know? Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And, Mon, you can be in charge of diapering. And I can be in charge of looking at how cute they are when they put their hands...

Chandler: Maybe Krog is not a safe toy...
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Chandler: I swallowed his sonic blaster gun.
Monica: How did that happen?
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right, you know? And it turns out I was wrong... and now it's lodged in my throat.
Phoebe: Damn it, this whole time we were concentrating on the babies... and no one was watching Chandler.

Joey: I love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: People would think you own a Porsche because of the clothes?
Joey: Of course. Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car.
Chandler: True.
Joey: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.

Joey: Hi. How are the Gellers?
Rachel: Don't call us that!

Phoebe: How do you feel?
Chandler: Well, let's just say that Krog will be equipped to destroy the universe again... in 12 to 14 hours.

Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself. I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Monica: Oh! My! God!
Phoebe: I know. The babies are asleep.
Monica: Phoebe, what happened here?!
Phoebe: I did it. I took care of the babies all by myself.
Monica: But my apartment...
Chandler: ...was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.
Monica: But the mess...
Chandler: ...is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.

Rachel: So, um... Sorry I got us into this whole thing.
Ross: So then, I mean, if you think about it... this is all your fault.
Rachel: Yeah, don't push it, though.

Ross: I gotta say... I know I divorce a lot of women. Never thought I'd be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, that would be the one that stuck.

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