Rick & Morty's Thanksploitation Spectacular

Rick and Morty 5x6

Rick: The only thing of value on it is the secret treasure map. The rest is just instructions for running a country. And I'm pretty sure they're online.
Morty: It just feels a little wrong--
Rick: Morty, are you gonna be a [bleep] America nerd? Or are you gonna be cool and steal The Constitution with grandpa?

President: Don't tell me what I want, you anti-american piece of [bleep], you terrorist!
Rick: You know, you use that word so much it's lost all meaning, Mr. P. It's like, at this point, what's a terrorist? It's a guy you don't like. Big deal.

VP Dwayne: Jesus ever-loving Christ, why don't you two just [bleep] and get it over with?
President: Careful, Dwayne. You're only Vice President because I need 10% of the white vote.
VP Dwayne: There's a giant French assassin attacking New York, and you're using the war room to measure dicks with your alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend?
President: Rick Sanchez is more dangerous than some steam-powered French bitch, and New York can handle its own global emergencies.

General Green: These pills contain tracking chips that identify each of you as individuals. That will be important later.

President: I'm sick of hearing how iconic you were! Try having an historical administration after facebook goes online, you old-timey bitch!

Rick: Woof. You just killed FDR.
Morty: He was a monster, though.
Rick: Don't mythologize him. He was a politician.

President: What is your problem?! Why do you hate this country?
Rick: I hate every country in the universe, brother! They're job placement programs for the politicians that invent them--

Summer: Oh, wow, wiping out a native population on Thanksgiving? That's never happened before.
President: What did you just say?
Summer: Well, I-I associated Thanksgiving with genocide. It's what young people do. I wasn't trying to--

President: We've got something more powerful than every army in the world. Well, no, we don't, but with the right speech, we could get a handful of well-trained hillbillies.
Rick: Eh, it worked against the British. I'm in.

President: Now, look, I know it's gonna take more than some speech. But what is a speech? Isn't it just a question? And isn't that a question too? Speeches are words. Repeated words. Listed words. Repeated lists of repeated words. None of that matters. You know what does matter? Me. Asking you "Will you do what I say?"

General Green: Sir, we've got Rick and Morty coming in what appears to be an unlicensed "Star Wars" AT-AT. Or as the millennials say, A-T, A-T.

Morty: So... After those aliens discovered America...
President: They went into hibernation, leaving us the technology we used to lead the free world. That and also to do stuff like slavery.
Morty: I always thought we were... more special than that. Like we invented everything and did everything and that's why we own everything. Now I-I-I-I don't know what to feel.
President: Feel thankful, Morty. Feel thankful.

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