Rickdependence Spray

Rick and Morty 5x4

Morty: We've been here for hours. I-I don't want to hang out at the stupid horse hospital.
Beth: This stupid horse hospital puts dinner on your table. It wouldn't kill you to take an interest.
Morty: W-What's this thing? I-In the middle of the room? With... With the hole in the end?
Beth: That's a breeding mount. The nurses use it to collect... reproductive material.
Morty: .....

Beth: Okay, let's go see this latest piece of Marvel shit you kids are [BLEEP] over.

Morty: W-W-Whatcha doin'?
Rick: Eh, nothing adventurous. You know that race of Underground Dwelling Cannibal Horse People that we're always fighting?
Morty: Yeah, the CHUDs. W-W-What about 'em?
Rick: Well, don't tell anybody, but I'm working on a bioweapon to use against them...

Morty: Why don't you trust labels?!
Rick: All right! Fine! I won't test it! God damn. Your generation really picks random hills to die on.

Rick: Don't get too close. I'm running an inhuman amount of power through this semen. Should be safe, though, since the semen itself is, you know, also inhuman. Here we go...

Rick: Beth, sweetheart, can you give me a minute? I'm trying to steer around the bodies of our neighbors. Oh, that felt like Gene.

Morty: Y-You did a shameful thing. Dwelling on it isn't gonna help, you know, am I right? Sometimes you just gotta wipe it off, toss it in the trash, and head back to study hall.
Rick: Uh, not getting the metaphor, but I'll take your hall pass.

Beth: Why would the sperm go to the Grand Canyon?... Why are you looking at me like the answer is obvious? Oh, you can't be serious. Are we in middle school? You think sperm are instinctively heading for America's...

Morty: Look, if you want these things gone, give Rick and me a plane and some nukes. We'll wipe 'em out and leave no trace of them. Only one way to deal with it.
Rick: He's right. I'm a scientist.

Rick: Oh, wow, that's unexpected.
Morty: The sperm made a catapult?! A-A-Are they getting smarter?!
Rick: No, you're getting dumber because that's a trebuchet.

President: None of you have an idea?
Summer: I do. That's right, me... the girl. Gentlemen, what do sperm want? The same thing as a lumberjack in the morning or a fox at night.
— Pants! Pancakes!
Summer: Eggs. Eggs. You want to control giant sperm, you need a giant egg.

Beth: You became a woman today.

Blazen: Blood for blood. Cream for cream.

Rick: Oh, gross! This is the first time I've ever regretted being taken alive.

Rick: A-And why do you have the horse jerkoff machine from my daughter's hospital?
Sperm Queen: We need it to create our army.
Rick: Well, you need more than that, dummy. You need a horse.
Sperm Queen: Oh, but our stallion is already here. Isn't that right, Morty? Or shall I say... Father?

Rick: Morty, you nasty, lying, little world-ending pervert.
Morty: I-I-I'm sorry.
Rick: What was it like?
Morty: Fantastic!

Morty: I-I should've told you the truth, Rick.
Rick: Let's save the world first. Now, reset those nukes, and let's turn this canyon into a can't-yon.

President: Launch the egg! Launch it now!
Professor Shabooboo: B-But that'll take 30 minutes.
President: What?! Why?!
Professor Shabooboo: That's how long every space launch takes! No one realizes because they only show you the last 10 seconds!

Rick: Everyone can change their nature, Morty. It's what defines our species. Look at Iron Man. That actor was an animal in the '90s, literally waking up in bushes. His agent had to catch him with a butterfly net.

King of CHUDs: CHUDs don't forgive humans. CHUDs eat humans!

King of CHUDs: This love is forbidden. My daughter, you are a CHUD. Rick is a human and age-inappropriate.
Princess Poñeta: Then you leave me no choice. By the 17th Article of the CHUD-stitution, I offer Rícko Sanchez horsemunity and demand a equestri-truce between all CHUDs and humans!
King of CHUDs: On what grounds?
Princess Poñeta: On the grounds that Rícko is the father of my child.
King of CHUDs: I have an heir.
Rick: I have a substance-abuse problem.

Beth: Ugh! Ready for all the responsibility with none of the credit?
Summer: Let's Nancy Reagan this bitch!

——
+ Quotes on the IMDb