Rubber (Wo)man: Part Two

American Horror Stories 1×2

Ruby: Sadists are patient motherfuckers.

Scarlett: Why here?
Ruby: Anyone who lives in L.A. knows about this place. Anyone obsessed with famous murders, at least, which is, like, everyone.

Dr. Andi Grant: Hey, I'm sorry, but we need to schedule a session. You'd think in death I'd want to stop working, but you know what, not even death can stop ambition.

Scarlett: I like it here. I like how it feels to be in this house.
Michael: Honey, you don't feel all the pain that's been inflicted here?
Scarlett: Of course I do. That's what I like about it.

Adam: You ever hear the saying, "A man who defends himself in court has an idiot for a client"?
Troy: Sure.
Adam: Do you know what a man who hires himself as a contractor to fix his own house is?... Broke. Usually divorced.

Troy: "A coping mechanism"? We are dead. Can't we at least be liberated from the worst parts of being human when we die?
Dr. Andi Grant: Apparently not. At least not in this house.

Troy: So this is it? This? This is, this is the great mystery of life and death? Just an endless prison of more of the same? Sure, I was worried about hell. What gay Catholic isn't? Torture and torment are at least kind of sexy. The one thing I did not worry about in the afterlife was that it was gonna be mundane.

Michael: Do you have time for a one-on-one?

Michael: We're just trying to protect you from what we're going through. I mean, isn't that what fathers do?
Scarlett: You guys were dumb enough to get yourselves in over your heads with this house and then get killed in it. Why should I listen to anything you say?

Ruby: You ready to go?
Scarlett: You can't come with me.
Ruby: Yes, I can. It's Halloween. It's the one day of the year when the dead can walk the earth.

Scarlett: So, what do you want to do with your one night in the world, my love?
Ruby: Are you kidding? Hey. I want to have a nonstop orgy of trouble and pain!

Scarlett: You're the only person in my life whose suffering brings me no pleasure.

Ruby: A wise man once said happiness is something to look forward to. I never understood that until I was dead. When you're dead and stuck in a haunted house for all eternity, there's not much to do but wait and wait. And the waiting, like another wise man once said, is indeed the hardest part of love. If it's real love.

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