Amortycan Grickfitti

Rick and Morty 5x5

Summer: Mom, let Morty have one friend over for God's sake. This isn't China.

Beth: I am giving you two trust and respect, so if you mess up and teleport this house, it'd be wise to stay on it and not come back.

Morty: You're so gross!
Summer: You have to like it or you're sexist!

Jerry: Oh, you'll love this... I call it Jerry-oke. I'll let you guess why.

Demon 1: We love suffering.
Demon 2: Therefore, we love hanging out with Jerry.
Demon 3: His lameness is our candy.
Rick: Yeah, I got that, but when is enough gonna be enough?
Demon 1: When we decide you've repaid your debt for those faulty skin hooks.

Morty: I got this... Defense system offline.
Car: Um. Right. I'll just go offline whenever anyone suggests it. That would make me the greatest defense system in the universe.

Car: Well, I'm done. That was boring. Why don't you kids order a last meal? 'Cause when we get home, Rick is going to kill you.

Jerry: Rick, Beth, you love me after all!
Rick: Eh, I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer.

Car: I cut a deal with the local authorities. They just need one of you to take the fall. Make it Chutback. He ruined your night, he ruined mine. He's a parasite, a sociopath military brat who wanders the earth changing people who don't need to be changed. I knew who I was. You did, too. We were fine before Chutback, so [BLEEP] the Chut, let's pin it all on him. Case closed.

Beth: Dad, what is that?
Rick: An Aversion-Converting Inversion Reverter. It shoots concentrated pleasure-pain inverting shrapnel, which reverts the pleasure from pain back into the pain from pain. We're gonna kill them with 100% sincerity. We need an embarrassing level of it to jumpstart the process, too, so, Jerry, just be yourself.
Jerry: That's your solution? Humiliating me more?
Beth: Yeah, Dad, that doesn't seem fair. I mean, I know I shouldn't really talk right now, but at least I can prove I love Jerry through sexual gratification.
Jerry: Hubba hubba.

Rick: Fine! Then... damn it. I shouldn't have kept you in the dark about the deal I made with these evil dickweeds. You're way less cool than me, but it's not cool of me to celebrate that. If I'm genuinely cool, I should be able to love you, which I therefore do.

Car: Quick, get inside. I have to shower. Rick can smell adventure.

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