Drax: I can clearly see you winking.
Rocket: Damn it. I’m using my left eye?
Drax: What are they called again?
Peter Quill: Anulax batteries.
Drax: Harbulary batteries.
Peter Quill: That’s nothing like what I just said!
Peter Quill: Family reunion. Yay.
Drax: There are two types of beings in the universe... those who dance, and those who do not.
Peter Quill: Okay. I get it, yes. I’m a dancer, Gamora is not.
Drax: You just need to find a woman who is pathetic... like you.
Gamora: Why would they do that?
Drax: Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.
Rocket: Dude!
Drax: Right. He didn’t steal some of those. I don’t know why they’re after us. What a mystery this is.
Peter Quill: What were you thinking?!?!
Rocket: Dude, they were really easy to steal!
Gamora: That’s your defense?
Peter Quill: I’ve been flying this rig since I was 10 years old!
Rocket: I was cybernetically engineered to pilot a spacecraft.
Peter Quill: You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag!
Rocket: Later on tonight, you’re gonna be laying down in your bed... and there’s gonna be something squishy in your pillow case. And you’re gonna be like, «What’s this?» And it’s gonna be because I put a turd in there!
Peter Quill: You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.
Rocket: Oh, it won’t be my turd. It will be Drax’s.
Drax: Die, spaceship!
Rocket: DON’T CALL ME A RACCOON!
Peter Quill: I’m sorry, I took it too far. I meant «trash panda.»
Rocket: Is that better?..
Drax: I don’t know.
Peter Quill: It’s worse. It’s so much worse.
Drax: I bet it’s the one-inch man.
Drax: I thought Yondu was your father.
Peter Quill: What?! We’ve been together this whole time... and you thought Yondu was my actual blood relative?
Drax: You look exactly alike.
Rocket: One’s blue!
Drax: →→→
Gamora: That’s my point, Peter. What if this man is your Hasselhoff? If he ends up being evil... we will just kill him.
Peter Quill: So unbelievably uncool.
Peter Quill: Wow. You have your own planet?
Ego: Come on. No larger than your Earth’s Moon.
Drax: Humility. I like it. I, too, am extraordinarily humble.
Gamora: You own a planet and can destroy two dozen spaceships without a suit. What are you exactly?
Ego: I’m what’s called a Celestial, sweetheart.
Peter Quill: A Celestial, like a god?
Ego: Mmm, small «g,» son. At least on the days I’m feeling humble as Drax.
Drax: You are horrifying to look at. Yes. But that’s a good thing.
Mantis: Oh?
Drax: When you’re ugly, and someone loves you... you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust.
Kraglin: Where to, Captain?
Rocket: Ego.
Yondu: No, boy! It ain’t healthy for a mammalian body to hop more than 50 jumps at a time.
Rocket: I know that.
Yondu: We are about to do 700!
Gamora: If you ever tell anyone about this... I will kill you.
Gamora: What unspoken thing?
Peter Quill: This... Cheers, Sam and Diane... a guy and a girl on a TV show who dig each other... but never say it because if they do, the ratings would go down... sort of thing.
Gamora: There’s no unspoken thing.
Peter Quill: Well, it’s a catch-22, because if you said it, then it would be spoken... and you would be a liar. So, by not saying it... you are telling the truth, and admitting that there is.
Peter Quill: You know what? This is not Cheers after all! This is whatever the show is where one person is willing... to open themselves up to new possibility, and the other person is a jerk... who doesn’t trust anybody! It’s a show that doesn’t exist. That’s why it would get zero ratings!
Ego: Now, you need to readjust the way you process life. Everything around us, including the girl... Everything is temporary. We are forever.
Yondu: I know who you are, boy... Because you’re me.
Rocket: ... What kind of a pair are we?
Nebula: Then we just go.
Gamora: No! He’s our friend.
Nebula: All any of you do... is yell at each other. You are not friends.
Drax: You’re right. We’re family. We leave no one behind. Except maybe you.
Ego: I wanted to do this together... but I suppose you’ll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a battery!
Drax: Out of the way, dumber, smaller Groot!
Peter Quill: You said you were gonna eat me.
Yondu: That was being funny!
Peter Quill: Not to me!
Rocket: You people have issues.
Peter Quill: Of course I have issues. That’s my freakin’ father!
Rocket: Whoo-hoo! So, we’re saving the galaxy again?
Peter Quill: I guess.
Rocket: Awesome! We’re really gonna be able to jack up our prices... if we’re two-time galaxy savers.
Peter Quill: I seriously can’t believe that’s where your mind goes.
Rocket: It was just a random thought, man. I thought we were friends. Of course, I care about the planets, and the buildings... and all the animals on the planets.
Peter Quill: And the people.
Rocket: Meh.
Mantis: The crabby puppy is so cute. He makes me wanna die!
Drax: You don’t have to believe in yourself... because I believe in you.
Rocket: All right, first you flick this switch, then this switch. That activates it. Then you push this button... which will give you five minutes to get out of there. Now, whatever you do... don’t push this button... because that will set off the bomb immediately and we’ll all be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Uh-huh.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: That’s right.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: No!
Peter Quill: You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag. If anybody’s gonna have tape, it’s you!
Rocket: That’s exactly my point! I have to do everything!
Rocket: We’re all gonna die.
Peter Quill: You look like Mary Poppins.
Yondu: Is he cool?
Peter Quill: Hell, yeah, he’s cool.
Yondu: I’m Mary Poppins, y’all!
Groot: I am Groot.
Yondu: What’s that?
Rocket: He says, «Welcome to the frickin’ Guardians of the Galaxy.» Only he didn’t use «frickin’.»
Yondu: He may have been your father, Quill, but he wasn’t your daddy.
Peter Quill: What I’m trying to say here is... sometimes that thing you’re searching for your whole life... it’s right there by your side all along. You don’t even know it.
Kraglin: Captain found this for you in a junker shop. Said you’d come back to the fold someday.
Peter Quill: What is it?
Kraglin: It’s called a Zune. It’s what everybody’s listening to on Earth nowadays. It’s got 300 songs on it.
Peter Quill: 300 songs?
Mantis: It’s beautiful.
Drax: It is. And so are you. On the inside.
Ayesha: That, my child... is the next step in our evolution. More powerful, more beautiful... more capable of destroying the Guardians of the Galaxy. I think I shall call him... Adam.
Peter Quill: Ugh, dude. Seriously? You gotta clean up your room. It’s a complete mess.
Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: I am not boring. You’re boring. You know what’s boring? Sitting there, playing that mind-numbing game. What’s boring is me tripping over your vines every day! I’m not boring!
Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: And now I know how Yondu felt.
--
+++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
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