Lawnmower Dog

Rick and Morty 1x2

Jerry: Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn’t by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?
Rick: I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn’t pull that thread.

Morty: You talking about «Inception»?
Rick: That’s right, Morty. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it’s gonna maybe make sense.
Morty: «Inception» made sense.
Rick: You don’t have to try to impress me, Morty.

Morty: Geez, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing, couldn’t you have just, you know, helped me with my homework?
Rick: Are you listening to me, Morty? Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it.

Morty: It’s really weird.
Rick: It’s about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty...

Rick: Goldenfold, we’re coming out! We just want to talk!
Goldenfold: Why would I negotiate with you?
Rick: Because we’re both rational adults that don’t want anything bad to happen. And because I have a human shield!

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Morty: It’s Summer!
Rick: Aw, geez. Looks like Goldenfold has some predilections so shameful he buries them in the dreams of the people in his dreams, including a pervy attraction to your underage sister.

Summer: Come on, old man, little boy. Let’s make an inter-generational sandwich.

Morty: Why would Mr. Goldenfold’s dream version of Mrs. Pancakes’ dream version of a centaur be dreaming about a scary place like this, Rick?
Rick: Geez, I don’t know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?
Scary Terry: Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!
Rick: Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an ’80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives.

Scary Terry: You can run, but you can’t hide, bitch!

Snuffles: Where are my testicles, Summer? Where are my testicles, Summer? They were removed. Where have they gone?

Rick: Worst-case scenario we’re back to running.

Morty: Oh, man, what’s going on?
Rick: Well, it’s possible that your dog became self-aware and made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity’s cruel subjugation of his species, but your guess is as good as mine, Morty.

Summer: I can’t believe how mean snuffles got just because he’s smart. This is why I choose to get C’s.

Morty: But I-it’s been like a whole year!
Rick: It’s been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It’s like «Inception,» Morty, so if it’s confusing and stupid, then so is everyone’s favorite movie.

Scary Glenn: So, uh, here here’s what I say... you can’t learn anything until you learn... how to chill.

Rick: Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch!

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