Is Josh Free in Two Weeks?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 2×12

Patrick: Well, maybe ask your mom? I mean, that seems like the normal thing to do...
Naomi: Help you with your wedding? Did you help me with my wedding? No, you just sat in my uterus giving me heartburn and making me look like a big fat pig.

Josh: Dear God, I know you’re busy with everything from Afghanistan to the Zika virus, but if you have time... we could really use your help with our fast breaks. Oh! And, uh, while I have you, if you could have Macy’s restock the new Jordan 5’s, size ten, that would be awesome. Amen. Okay, break.

Josh: Dude. Um, I’m involved with this wedding. Very involved, okay? Like, I got a ring, I proposed, I asked you to officiate, and obviously, I came up with the hashtag, #BunchOfChans.

Rebecca: Paula said you wanted to see me.
Nathaniel: I wanted to see you? No, I wanted you to come in to work, so I could tell you, you need to come in to work. I don’t want to see you.
Rebecca: Great. I don’t want to see you, either.

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Nathaniel: Oh!... That is the sound of my body defeating fat is all that is. Oh... Oh... So, um... clearly someone has passed gas. And we don’t need to talk about who did it, but if somebody wants to be loyal and to do the right thing and take responsibility, then we can all move on....

Nathaniel: No, I’m not sick. I’m not sick. I don’t believe in sick. It’s like my dad always said, «If you’re not missing a leg, you walk it off. And if you are missing a leg, you limp it off. And if you’re missing two legs, thank you for your service. Here’s a quarter.»
Paula: It is so weird. We have nothing in common, and yet we have the same father.

Nathaniel: A nap? I don’t nap. I’m a man.
Darryl: What? Napping is manly. Bears nap for, like, what, months? Right? What could be more manly than a bear?
Nathaniel: A lion?
Darryl: Oh. Well...
Nathaniel: It’s like my dad says, naps are for children, the elderly, and weaklings.

Rebecca: This is a fiasco. I give up. I’m just gonna have to settle for the fact Josh and I are gonna have an F-minus wedding at an A-plus venue, which means it’ll be a C, which everyone knows is actually an F.

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