On Your Mark

Mr. Mercedes 1x2

Bill: I got a permit for the gun, I’m a retired police officer.
Ida: Decorated retired detective.

Bill: You know, for what it’s worth, I’m good with mess. Look at the way I live. Life is s’posed to be messy, I read it somewhere.

Deborah: There’s a saying... maybe you’ve heard it... a mother can only be as happy as her saddest child. You seem very sad to me, Brady. Almost angry, in fact.

Deborah: Let me just say this. I won’t presume to understand your life. But my life... you’re it.

Robi: Brady, my deeper concern runs to you. You’re... weird. I’m sorry, I wish I could find a softer term or something more clinical, but frankly, sometimes you come across as just plain weird.

Robi: This is a business opportunity for us. I cannot have you flippant. I cannot have you impersonable. I cannot have you «a little off.» Do you hear what I’m telling both of you? You either shape up, or I ship you out. Now, let’s go move some product!

Ida: Will you have some tea?
Bill: Uh, well, I, um...
Ida: Bill, you’re retired. Come and have some tea.

---

Ida: Relax. I’m not gonna throw myself at you. I only do that once. I have my pride. Going forward, I will only list in your direction.

Ida: Why you?
Bill: Yeah.
Ida: Well, you’re pleasantly charming. And incomparably convenient.

Bill: Alright, well, I got to get back. I got a tortoise to feed.

Jerome: Look, I’m like your Watson, Sherlock.

Jerome: «P.S. Care to get in touch, try Under Debbie’s Blue Umbrella. I even got you a username... ’Kermitfrog19′. And your password is ’Smush’.»
Bill: He even knows my name.
Jerome: What?
Bill: My first given name is Kermit. I haven’t heard it since I was 17, the day I left to come here from Ireland.

Brady: I call it «Thing B.» There was an earlier incarnation... «Thing A.» But this is «Thing B.»

Brady: You don’t need to worry, Ma. I’m taking care of us in that basement.

Lou: He’s gonna be fine. Fried his brain, watching porn. Can you believe that?
Brady: And we’re the ones who are «off.» God...

Janey: You plan to act on it.
Bill: I do.
Janey: Why?
Bill: Every cop gets one they just can’t shake. No matter what. This is mine.

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