Pilot
Rick: I had to... I had to... I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb.
Morty: What?! A bomb?!
Rick: We’re gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start.
Rick: What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that night time makes up half of all time?
Summer: Oh, my God. My parents are so loud. I want to die.
Rick: Mm, there is no God, Summer. You got to rip that band-aid off now. You’ll thank me later.
Rick: I’ll tell you some tell you how how I feel about school, Jerry. It’s a waste of time a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, «two plus two.» The people in the back say, «four.» Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it’s it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry.
Rick: I know that new situations can be intimidating. You’re looking around, and it’s all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that’s how we grow as people.
Rick: Oh, Morty, take a deep breath. Breathe that breathe that fresh air in, Morty. Y-you smell that? That’s the smell of adventure, Morty.
Rick: You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an under underfoot figure.
Morty: Y-y-you’re a monster. Y-you’re like Hitler, but but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.
Jerry: Oh, look, honey. It’s our son with Albert Ein-douche.
Rick: You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It’s beyond your reasoning.
Jerry: You’re beyond our reasoning!
Rick: Takes one to know one.
Jerry: And now, Beth, if you’ll have me, I would love to have you.
Morty: Ohh, man. Oh, geez! Ohh.
Rick: I’m sorry, Morty. It’s a bummer. In reality, you’re as dumb as they come. And I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we’re gonna have to go get more. And then we’re gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty. And you’re gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don’t understand what’s important, and they’ll tear us apart, Morty. But if you stick with me, I’m gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you’re gonna be part of them, and together, we’re gonna run around, Morty. We’re gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We’re the only friends we’ve got, Morty. It’s just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. 100 years, Rick and Morty’s things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. www.rickandmorty.com. www.rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com. www.100timesrickandmorty.com.
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