Jaynestown

Firefly × 7

& Simon: I swear... when it’s appropriate.
    Kaylee: Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain’t appropriate.

& Kaylee: Bye now. Have good sex.

& Kaylee: Now, this would be a perfect time for a swear word.

& Simon: My God. You’re like a trained ape. Without the training.

& Wash: I vote we do this job really, really fast...
    Malcolm: We go in, make contact... Easy-peasy.

& Malcolm: The management here don’t take too kindly to sightseers, which is why we’re... posin’ as buyers. There ain’t a one of us looks the part more than the good doctor. I mean, the pretty fits... soft hands... definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over...
    Simon: All right! Fine. I’ll go. Just stop describing me.
    Malcolm: You’re the boss, boss.

& Malcolm: Jayne? You wanna tell me how come there’s a statue... of you here lookin’ at me like I owe him somethin’?

& Wash: This must be what going mad feels like. I think they captured him, though. You know, captured his essence...
    Kaylee: Looks sorta angry, don’t he?
    Wash: That’s kinda what I meant.

& Higgins: I have a feeling it will take all your art to deal with this particular problem.
    Inara: Every problem, Mr. Higgins, is an opportunity in disguise.

---

& Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?
    River: Fixing your Bible.
    Book: I... What?!
    River: Your Bible’s broken. Contradictions, false logistics... Doesn’t make sense.
    Book: No, no. You can’t...
    River: So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven... Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of 11, 11 times... but always comes out one.

& River: Noah’s ark is a problem.
    Book: Really?
    River: We’ll have to call it “early quantum state phenomenon”. Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammal on the same boat.

& River: It’s broken. It doesn’t make sense.
    Book: It’s not about... making sense. It’s about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It’s about... faith. You don’t fix faith, River... It fixes you.

& Jayne: They call it mudder’s milk. All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma’s best turkey dinner... plus 15 percent alcohol.
    Wash: It’s horrific!
    Simon: Worked for the Egyptians.
    Wash: What’s that?
    Simon: The ancient Egyptians. Back on Earth that was. Not so different from the ancestral form of beer they fed the slaves to build pyramids. It’s liquid bread. It kept them from starving... and knocked them out at night, so they wouldn’t be inclined to insurrection.
    Kaylee: Simon, that was so... historical.

& Malcolm: Jayne?
    Jayne: Yeah, Mal?
    Malcolm: You got any light you’d like to shed on this development?
    Jayne: .... No, Mal.

& Simon: No, this must be what going mad feels like.

& Malcolm: I understand your concerns, friend. This here’s all part of our new plan.
    Kaylee: Captain, how exactly is this part of...
    Malcolm: Still working the details.

& Simon: To Jayne, the... box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong thing.
    Kaylee: You know, you are pretty funny.
    Simon: And you’re pretty... pretty.

& Malcolm: It’s time to get out of this nut house. I got some plannin’ to work out.
    Kaylee: Now, Captain? Things are goin’ so well.
    Malcolm: I suppose. Jayne’s certainly feeling better about life, but...
    Kaylee: I said, things... are going... well.
    Malcolm: Oh, well.

& Inara: It’s not embarrassing to be a virgin. It’s simply one’s state of being.

& Fess: I just thought I’d feel... different... after. Aren’t I supposed to be a man now?
    Inara: A man is just a boy who’s old enough to ask that question.

& Jayne: I’m no good with words. Don’t... Don’t use ’em much myself. But I want to thank you all for bein’ here and... thinkin’ so much of me. Far as I see it... you people been given the shortest end of the stick... ever been offered a human soul in this crap-heel ’verse. But you took that end... and you... well, you took it. And that’s... Well, I guess that’s somethin’!
    Kaylee: That didn’t sound half bad.
    Malcolm: I’m shocked my own self.

& Malcolm: My estimation that... every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of a son of a bitch or another.

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+ quotes on the IMDb