Wilfred 2x4

Guilt

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck

& Wilfred: I thought she was running a brothel in India.
    Ryan: It’s a birthing clinic.
    Wilfred: Right, a brothel supply company. Same difference.

& Wilfred: You destroyed her marriage, don’t forget that.
    Ryan: I think about it every day. What I did was despicable.
    Wilfred: “Was.” You sent that long e-mail apology months ago. Get over it. Do you know how long dogs feel guilty?.. Five seconds, then we move on.

& Wilfred: There’s a war out there, Ryan. The war between dogs and babies...
    Ryan: You’re at war with babies? Over what?
    Wilfred: Why do any great civilizations go to war?.. To see who’s cutest.

& Wilfred: Here we go. No Down Syndrome, no spina bifida, no lobster hands. Jesus, this baby’s gonna be goddamn adorable.

& Ryan: I’m the worst brother ever.
    Wilfred: Worst brother ever? Did you ever convince the other siblings in your litter to eat your runt sister because she was born with no eyes? ’Cause I did that.

& Wilfred: Guilt doesn’t go away until you let it go. It just keeps piling up.

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& Kristen: Do you think that I wanted to come here after the way you stabbed me in the back? I have nowhere else to go, Ryan. I’m a mistress... me! My marriage is dead, and I’m gonna be a single mother raising a child whose father already has another family, and it is all your fault!
    Ryan: Kristen...
    Kristen: No, it is! It has to be all your fault, because if it’s not, then... then... Oh, shit.

& Wilfred: You want me to be in your club? I’d love to be! The Pen15 Club? Hang on a minute. Just let me write that down so I don’t forget it... So, it’s just the word “PEN” and the number “15” with no spaces in between?

& Wilfred: We all know life doesn’t begin until the fetus is ten years old.
    Ryan: You have no morals.
    Wilfred: Of course, I do. You kill an 11-year-old, you’re going straight to hell.

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On the Imdb.

Σ The very good episode.