& Costa: Behind me is Thomas Kub’s house. Today is Thomas Kub’s birthday. And this is Project X, yo.
& Mom: I’m just worried.
Dad: About what?
Mom: I don’t know. Thomas, leaving him alone all weekend.
Dad: Oh, please, stop it. Come on, honey. He’s 17 years old.
Mom: That’s what I’m worried about.
Dad: Let’s be realistic here, okay? This is Thomas we’re talking about. He’s not exactly Mr. Popular.
Mom: What is that supposed to mean?
Dad: I’m just saying that he’s not that type of kid. He’s got a couple of friends. They’re gonna hang out, but they’re not gonna do anything. He’s a sweet kid, but... he’s a loser.
& Thomas: Okay, here’s what I want. Party’s limited to the backyard, okay? The house’ll be locked and the alarm’ll be set. No one is going inside, all right?
& Thomas: All right, listen. The three of us will have full access to the house for sex and finger-banging.
Costa: Yes.
Thomas: But no one else, okay?
Costa: Of course, bro, we got your back.
& Thomas: Dude, this is way more than 50 people...
Costa: Of course it is, it’s plus-one!
& JB: Would you like a glass of wine? We’ve got red, we’ve got white. You know, Cabernet, Merlot...
A girl: Just another beer would be great.
& Officer 1: We have a noise complaint. You mind if we look around?
Costa: I’d prefer if you didn’t.
Officer 2: We’re not asking.
Costa: Excuse me, I’m not a lawyer or anything. Doesn’t the law state that you cannot enter... through a private residence without permission?
Officer 1: Is there an adult here we might speak with?
Costa: You’re speaking with one. I’m 18 and a half years old, sir. And, of course, in my culture I’ve been a man since my 13th birthday.
Officer 1: So you’re telling us we cannot come in?
Costa: With all due respect, technically the law says you cannot. But what we’re saying is, you may not. I guess both are true. The law says you cannot because we say you may not.
& Officer 1: “Technically the law states...” Damn Internet!
Officer 2: Everybody’s a fucking attorney.
& Costa: Look, man, I know you’re not a drug guy, and I respect that about you. But right now, this is what you need.
Thomas: What is it?
Costa: It’s Ecstasy. It’ll put the brakes on your little freak-out. Just take it.
Thomas: All right. This won’t totally, like, fuck me up, will it?
Costa: Of course it will, dude. That’s the whole point.
& Costa: Thomas, look at what we did... Epic.
Thomas: Is this big enough to be cool?
Costa: Game changer.
& Tyler: This is Falcon One. I was just attacked by this really sexy woman. We’ve lost all control. The house was breached hours ago. Chaos has spread to the streets. And the police are returning in force. We’re clearly outnumbered... God, help us.
& Costa: Oh, my God, Thomas, we’re fucked. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to fix any of this shit... I’m sorry, Thomas. I just wanted to get some pussy.
& T-Rick: Give me back my fucking gnome!
& Costa: All right. I’m gonna go home... have a good cry, and start calling some lawyers.
& Thomas: Dad, I’m sorry.
Dad: You had so much going for you... and you just pissed it all away for one night? I just didn’t think you had it in you.
Thomas: Well, I know. I’m sorry I let you down.
Dad: No. I literally didn’t think that you had this in you. So, uh, how many people were here?
Thomas: Uh... Fifteen hundred... Couple thousand, maybe.
Dad: Wow.
Thomas: You should’ve seen it. It was awesome.
Dad: Well, you’re still fucked, Thomas.
& Costa: My dad got me a lawyer. Even that Jew thinks we’re fucked.
--
+ quotes on the Imdb.
Σ You thought you had seen everything about juvenile debauchery? You were wrong.
& Mom: I’m just worried.
Dad: About what?
Mom: I don’t know. Thomas, leaving him alone all weekend.
Dad: Oh, please, stop it. Come on, honey. He’s 17 years old.
Mom: That’s what I’m worried about.
Dad: Let’s be realistic here, okay? This is Thomas we’re talking about. He’s not exactly Mr. Popular.
Mom: What is that supposed to mean?
Dad: I’m just saying that he’s not that type of kid. He’s got a couple of friends. They’re gonna hang out, but they’re not gonna do anything. He’s a sweet kid, but... he’s a loser.
& Thomas: Okay, here’s what I want. Party’s limited to the backyard, okay? The house’ll be locked and the alarm’ll be set. No one is going inside, all right?
& Thomas: All right, listen. The three of us will have full access to the house for sex and finger-banging.
Costa: Yes.
Thomas: But no one else, okay?
Costa: Of course, bro, we got your back.
& Thomas: Dude, this is way more than 50 people...
Costa: Of course it is, it’s plus-one!
& JB: Would you like a glass of wine? We’ve got red, we’ve got white. You know, Cabernet, Merlot...
A girl: Just another beer would be great.
& Officer 1: We have a noise complaint. You mind if we look around?
Costa: I’d prefer if you didn’t.
Officer 2: We’re not asking.
Costa: Excuse me, I’m not a lawyer or anything. Doesn’t the law state that you cannot enter... through a private residence without permission?
Officer 1: Is there an adult here we might speak with?
Costa: You’re speaking with one. I’m 18 and a half years old, sir. And, of course, in my culture I’ve been a man since my 13th birthday.
Officer 1: So you’re telling us we cannot come in?
Costa: With all due respect, technically the law says you cannot. But what we’re saying is, you may not. I guess both are true. The law says you cannot because we say you may not.
& Officer 1: “Technically the law states...” Damn Internet!
Officer 2: Everybody’s a fucking attorney.
& Costa: Look, man, I know you’re not a drug guy, and I respect that about you. But right now, this is what you need.
Thomas: What is it?
Costa: It’s Ecstasy. It’ll put the brakes on your little freak-out. Just take it.
Thomas: All right. This won’t totally, like, fuck me up, will it?
Costa: Of course it will, dude. That’s the whole point.
& Costa: Thomas, look at what we did... Epic.
Thomas: Is this big enough to be cool?
Costa: Game changer.
& Tyler: This is Falcon One. I was just attacked by this really sexy woman. We’ve lost all control. The house was breached hours ago. Chaos has spread to the streets. And the police are returning in force. We’re clearly outnumbered... God, help us.
& Costa: Oh, my God, Thomas, we’re fucked. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to fix any of this shit... I’m sorry, Thomas. I just wanted to get some pussy.
& T-Rick: Give me back my fucking gnome!
& Costa: All right. I’m gonna go home... have a good cry, and start calling some lawyers.
& Thomas: Dad, I’m sorry.
Dad: You had so much going for you... and you just pissed it all away for one night? I just didn’t think you had it in you.
Thomas: Well, I know. I’m sorry I let you down.
Dad: No. I literally didn’t think that you had this in you. So, uh, how many people were here?
Thomas: Uh... Fifteen hundred... Couple thousand, maybe.
Dad: Wow.
Thomas: You should’ve seen it. It was awesome.
Dad: Well, you’re still fucked, Thomas.
& Costa: My dad got me a lawyer. Even that Jew thinks we’re fucked.
--
+ quotes on the Imdb.
Σ You thought you had seen everything about juvenile debauchery? You were wrong.
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