11 июл. 2012 г.

Two and a Half Men 4x9

Corey’s Been Dead for an Hour

& Alan: So, what do you want?
    Jake: Nachos, Red Hots, Milk Duds, popcorn and a Slushee.
    Charlie: What are you doing? Building an ass bomb?

& Alan: Okay. Uncle Charlie and I are leaving now.
    Jake: Bye.
    Alan: I’m trusting you to act responsibly... and go to bed at a reasonable hour.
    Jake: Okay.
    Alan: You know, this is a real turning point for you. You’re taking care of yourself. You’re becoming a man.
    Jake: You too.

& Alan: Goodbye, my son.
    Jake: Save it for the date, Dad.
    Charlie: Don’t burn the place down, and if you do, don’t be here when I get back. He knows to drink the cheap Scotch, not the single malt, right?
    Alan: Not funny.
    Charlie: I’m not joking. He’s probably just gonna mix it with Hawaiian Punch anyway.


& Man: Okay, you stay here. I’ll go find her.
    Woman: No, I’m coming with you.
    Jake: Will you people quit going into the caretaker’s shack?
    Woman: Corey? Are you in here?
    Jake: No, you idiot! Corey’s been dead for an hour.
    Woman: Corey?
    Jake: Man, I should have went to bed...

& Jake: Are you crazy?!?!
    Rose: Well, there are several schools of thought on that.

& Jake: Boy, college students are really stupid...
    Rose: Yeah, if you shouldn’t run with scissors... you definitely shouldn’t run with hedge clippers.

& Charlie: Okay, let me get this straight. You’re squirreling away money for old Alan... while young Alan sponges off of dumb Charlie.
    Alan: I wouldn’t call you dumb. Sweet Charlie, loving Charlie. Can I have my money now?

& Charlie: All right. You know what I want you to do with this money?.. You’re gonna spend it. Every penny.
    Alan: But... But what about old Alan? What will he do?
    Charlie: Well, I’m guessing old Alan will be living on old Charlie’s hide-a-bed... until they bag him and tag him.
    Alan: Really?! You mean no matter what, I can always count on you?
    Charlie: ... Keep the money.

--
+ quotes on the Imdb.

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