& Michelle: I know how you feel. Every time I want to shop online and I start typing “Amazon,” “amazingcollegesluts.com” pops up.
& Stifler: Who’s this douche?
Ron: I’m her boyfriend.
Stifler: So, you two are banging, and you two used to bang. This must be awkward for all of you.
Oz: It is now.
& AJ: I think one of those guys was Kara’s babysitter. You know, the one that looked like Adam Sandler.
& Jim: Um, Stifler, do you know where you’re going?
Stifler: I know this place like the back of my cock.
& Selena: You were so much cooler than me. I sat around writingX-Files fan fiction.
Finch: I translated The Brothers Karamazov into Latin for fun.
Selena: That is so sexy.
Finch: You know... it is.
& Stifler: Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
Mr. Levenstein: The name is Noah, motherfucker.
& Stifler: JDate? You have to be kidding me. If you want quality vag, you have to go out into the wild.
Mr. Levenstein: “Vag”? What is that, a half a vagina? You know, in my day we called it a beaver. And let me tell you something, I snagged a pelt or two.
Stifler: I bet you did.
& Stifler’s Mom: I can’t tell you how many times I walked into Steven’s room and I caught him in the middle of sex with some girl.
Mr. Levenstein: At least he was with a real, live human girl...
Stifler’s Mom: What are you talking about?
Mr. Levenstein: I walked into the kitchen once, and I saw Jim humping a pie. He turned the damn thing into a crumble in about two seconds.
Stifler’s Mom: I can top that. I once walked into my bedroom and I caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. No, and it wasn’t the handle side, either.
& Mr. Levenstein: No, no, no. A pretty lady like you shouldn’t be drinking quite so much. And neither should I.
Stifler’s Mom: How about a joint, then?
& Mr. Levenstein: My point is, when you have a kid, you become a dad and a mom. But it’s very important not to stop being a husband and a wife. And if you do that, the sex will come.
Jim: That actually makes a lot of sense.
Mr. Levenstein: But you can’t just wait for the two of you to be alone. You have to make your own alone time. Why do you think you went to Hebrew school three times a week?.. Sundays, noon to three?.. Tuesdays, four to seven?..
Jim: Okay, okay, I get it, Dad.
Mr. Levenstein: If you get it, then why the questions?
& Jess: Be a real man, you have a beard now.
& Finch’s Mom: I’m looking for Paul Finch. Have you seen him anywhere?
Stifler: What do you want with Finch?
Finch’s Mom: I’m here to pick him up. I’m his mom.
Stifler: Finch has a mom? I mean, you’re Finch’s mom?
--
+ quotes on the Imdb.
& Stifler: Who’s this douche?
Ron: I’m her boyfriend.
Stifler: So, you two are banging, and you two used to bang. This must be awkward for all of you.
Oz: It is now.
& AJ: I think one of those guys was Kara’s babysitter. You know, the one that looked like Adam Sandler.
& Jim: Um, Stifler, do you know where you’re going?
Stifler: I know this place like the back of my cock.
& Selena: You were so much cooler than me. I sat around writing
Finch: I translated The Brothers Karamazov into Latin for fun.
Selena: That is so sexy.
Finch: You know... it is.
& Stifler: Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
Mr. Levenstein: The name is Noah, motherfucker.
& Stifler: JDate? You have to be kidding me. If you want quality vag, you have to go out into the wild.
Mr. Levenstein: “Vag”? What is that, a half a vagina? You know, in my day we called it a beaver. And let me tell you something, I snagged a pelt or two.
Stifler: I bet you did.
& Stifler’s Mom: I can’t tell you how many times I walked into Steven’s room and I caught him in the middle of sex with some girl.
Mr. Levenstein: At least he was with a real, live human girl...
Stifler’s Mom: What are you talking about?
Mr. Levenstein: I walked into the kitchen once, and I saw Jim humping a pie. He turned the damn thing into a crumble in about two seconds.
Stifler’s Mom: I can top that. I once walked into my bedroom and I caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. No, and it wasn’t the handle side, either.
& Mr. Levenstein: No, no, no. A pretty lady like you shouldn’t be drinking quite so much. And neither should I.
Stifler’s Mom: How about a joint, then?
& Mr. Levenstein: My point is, when you have a kid, you become a dad and a mom. But it’s very important not to stop being a husband and a wife. And if you do that, the sex will come.
Jim: That actually makes a lot of sense.
Mr. Levenstein: But you can’t just wait for the two of you to be alone. You have to make your own alone time. Why do you think you went to Hebrew school three times a week?.. Sundays, noon to three?.. Tuesdays, four to seven?..
Jim: Okay, okay, I get it, Dad.
Mr. Levenstein: If you get it, then why the questions?
& Jess: Be a real man, you have a beard now.
& Finch’s Mom: I’m looking for Paul Finch. Have you seen him anywhere?
Stifler: What do you want with Finch?
Finch’s Mom: I’m here to pick him up. I’m his mom.
Stifler: Finch has a mom? I mean, you’re Finch’s mom?
--
+ quotes on the Imdb.
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