8 июл. 2012 г.

Two and a Half Men 4x8

Release the Dogs

& Alan: Charlie. Look at me. I can hardly keep my eyes open. No, sex is not really an option at the moment.
    Charlie: You telling me you can’t make a fist?
    Alan: Just leave me alone.

& Charlie: How about exercise? It’s kind of like sex but without the condom.
    Alan: You know, that’s not a bad idea.
    Charlie: Well, you should always wear a condom!
    Alan: No, I mean the exercise. I could go for a run on the beach.
    Charlie: Sure, I’ve seen people do that. Usually they have a dog, but I think that’s optional.

& Alan: Wake up!
    Charlie: What?
    Alan: It’s noon.
    Charlie: What day?
    Alan: Saturday.
    Charlie: Thanks, see you Sunday.


& Jake: Please don’t hit on her.
    Charlie: Hit on who?
    Jake: Taylor’s mom.
    Charlie: Why would I hit on Taylor’s mom?
    Jake: Well, because she’s kind of pretty and you’ll hit on anything with a pulse.
    Charlie: Where’d you get that?
    Jake: My mom.
    Charlie: Oh, well...
    Jake: And my dad, Berta, Rose, Grandma...
    Charlie: Okay, okay.
    Jake: ... the UPS man.
    Charlie: All right.
    Jake: And when you hit on people I know, everything gets screwed up... or I have to find a new guitar teacher, new karate class... Cub Scout troop...
    Charlie: Okay, I get it.
    Jake: ... Godmother.

& Jake: You promised!
    Charlie: No, no. No. The head that made the promise is not the one that broke it.

& Alan: Listen, I have to talk to you.
    Charlie: This is a bad time, Alan.
    Alan: How come?
    Charlie: Because you wanna talk to me.

& Jake: You said you wouldn’t go out with her and you did!
    Charlie: I had to, Jake. She called me.
    Jake: What difference does that make?
    Charlie: I have to explain it to you?
    Jake: I have to explain everything to you.
    Charlie: Okay, okay. Let’s say you’re a hunter. If a deer takes your gun, shoots itself... then straps itself to the roof of your car... you have to take it home and eat it.
    Jake: What?
    Charlie: I’m sorry. I can’t make it any clearer.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.

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