Two and a Half Men 4x13

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

& Jake: I have a question.
    Alan: Yeah?
    Jake: How smart do you have to be to have sex?
    Charlie: Well, actually...
    Alan: Nah, nah, nah!
    Berta: Can I, uh...?
    Alan: Nah, nah, nah!
    Charlie: But I was...
    Alan: Nah, nah, nah!
    Berta: Oh, come on...
    Alan: Nah, nah, nah! Why do you ask?

& Alan: Think of it this way. Suppose you like banana cream pie...
    Jake: I do like banana cream pie.
    Alan: Well, good.
    Jake: Do we have any?
    Alan: No.
    Jake: Well, then why did you bring it up?
    Alan: I was trying to tell you about sex.
    Jake: What does pie have to do with sex?
    Charlie: Can I jump in?
    Alan: No, no, no!
    Berta: How about me?
    Charlie: Excuse me, if I can’t talk, you can’t talk. Am I right, Alan?

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& Rose: So, what memory did you repress?
    Charlie: When I was 8... I walked in on my mother having sex.
    Rose: Interesting.
    Charlie: Interesting? How about devastating, horrifying, traumatizing?
    Rose: Wow. What, was she, like, blindfolded and tied to a bed... while two guys slapped her butt with Ping-Pong paddles?
    Charlie: No.
    Rose: Hmm. Was she riding around on a goat while an albino midget dripped honey...
    Charlie: No, no. No. It was just sex. One mother, one man.
    Rose: Boring.

& Berta: Okay, I gotta go if I’m gonna catch my bus.
    Charlie: Good night, Berta.
    Jake: Hey, Dad, guess what I found in Mom’s bedroom.
    Berta: You know what, I’ll take a cab.
    Jake: An empty can of whipped cream... And you know what I’m thinking?
    Berta: I know what I’m thinking.
    Alan: Nah, nah, nah!
    Charlie: What?
    Jake: Either whipped cream has to do with sex, or Mom hides pie in her nightstand too.
    Charlie: Hey, a gal can do both.
    Alan: Nah, nah, nah!

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