The Rickshank Rickdemption

Rick and Morty 3x1

Rick: Anyway, that's how I escaped from space prison!...

Rick: Jerry, get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself 12 times.
Jerry: You got it.....
Rick: Six folds, huh? W-W-What, have you guys got me in a Series 9000?

Gromflomite Commander: What's going on?
Gromflomite Soldier: It's hard to tell. He may have manifested some sort of butt.
Gromflomite Commander: He can do that?
Gromflomite Soldier: He is the smartest man in the universe.

Joyce: Don't make my mistake, Summer. Don't deify the people that leave you. You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses healthy forever. Horses live longer than tortoises now! Is that what you want for yourself?!

Rick: I'd like to get a 10-piece McNugget and a bunch of the Szechuan sauce. Like, as much as you're allowed to give me. In 1998, they had this promotion for the Disney film "Mulan", where they— Where they— They created a new sauce for the McNuggets called Szechuan sauce, and it's delicious! And then they got rid of it, and now it's gone. This is the only place we're gonna be able to try it, is in my memory.

The Infinite Rick: You know the worst part about inventing teleportation? Suddenly, you're able to travel the whole galaxy, and the first thing you learn is, you're the last guy to invent teleportation.

The Infinite Rick: Imagine doing anything you want, then hopping to a timeline where you never did it. Imagine going anywhere, anytime, with nobody able to stop you.
Rick: Sounds lonely.
The Infinite Rick: Lonely? Dude, you have yourself— Your infinite selves. It's a nonstop party where all the guests are the only person we like.

Rick: Okay, have fun in what's left of my brain. I'm gonna transfer to yours... Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, my desire to play the trumpet, my tentative plans to purchase a hat, and six years of improv workshops.

Summer: But if every Rick hates the government, why would they hate Grandpa?
Morty: Because Ricks hate themselves the most. And our Rick is the most... himself.

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Morty: How is this a fair trial? O-Our lawyer is a Morty.
Rick Supreme: It's not fair, you have no rights, and he's not a lawyer. We just keep him here because he's fun.

Morty: I was just trying to protect my sister. I wanted you to have a normal life. That's something you can't have when Rick shows up. Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong. All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything.

Morty: He's not a villain, Summer, but he shouldn't be your hero. He's more like a demon or a super [bleep]up god.

Morty: So, what are you doing with level-nine access anyways?
Rick: Destroying the galactic government.

Rick: Good pitches, kids. I'm almost proud. But watch closely as Grandpa topples an empire by changing a one... to a zero...
Federation Admiral: Mr. President, the Blemflarck's value just dropped to nothing.
Federation President: What do you mean?
Federation Admiral: I mean, our single centralized galactic currency just went from being worth one of itself to zero of itself.

Rick: Guess who dismantled the government?

Morty: Okay, take it easy, Rick. T-T-That's dark.
Rick: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures.

Rick: I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce. I want that "Mulan" McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty. If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty. That's what's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty.....

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