I Never Want to See Josh Again.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 3×5

Maya: What is that noise? What's happening? I think one of our computers is in pain!
Mrs. Hernandez: It's our fax machine, loser!

Naomi: Thank God I'm here to scoop up the poop behind the elephant. Which is you, Rebecca! You're the one who's pooping!

Paula: It's my friendaversary with Rebecca. The night at Beans's party, I went home and I friended her, and she accepted. And I know it's just an algorithm, but they just... they picked the cutest photos...

Paula: Look at this. This is our first cookie pizza. I mean, it's just a cookie cut into triangles. There's no cheese or anything.

Paula: Fancy Fairy Funhouse? But you guys hate that game. You don't ever want to play that game because you have those dumb penises.

Maya: My sources downtown say the replacement is a femme-identifying cis-gender woman... That's a lady. She's a lady.
Darryl: Yeah, but is she gonna be like Rebecca, all pretty and cheery and Jewy?... You know what I mean... Smart, and a little sneaky... That did not come out right. I am not a bigot. I just... I talk too much, like a Jew— Oh, no.

Nathaniel: Work, work, work. Love that. So refreshing.

Rebecca: Everything's different now. My mother accepts me.
Audra Levine: Yeah, right. Of course. 'Cause what do opinionated Jewish mothers do when they turn 60? They change. Tell me, what did you do to earn this miraculous acceptance from your mother?

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Audra Levine: Rebecca, she's up to something. And if you don't know what it is, then it's working.

Cornelia: Thanks, everyone. I'm just waiting for my burrito, and then I have some stuff to look at on my... phone.

Rebecca: Okay. 'SkinnyMom1958... Damn it, she changed it.

Rebecca: Uh, enjoy your soak. You deserve it after that "left foot blue, right hand yellow" tumble.

Nathaniel: I'm not crying. I'm not crying. It's just the chlorine in this water...

Cornelia: I don't know what's going on. You're crying, and I'm in a bathing suit. How did this happen?

Rebecca: New York isn't my home, but L.A. isn't either. So, all I need you to do, is just drop me off in, like, Ohio or Idaho? In a cornfield somewhere.

Rebecca: The thing is, I'm just too tired to... buy things or do things or get things or say things or face things.

Rebecca: I need help.

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