Buddha Box

South Park 22×8

Eric: ... It's like everybody needs something from me. All I want is a little time with my phone instead of always listening to people's needy bullshit.

Eric: Anxiety? Is that cool?
Therapist: It's pretty common these days. What it really is more than anything is an excuse to be lazy and lame to everyone around you...
Eric: Oh, my God. That's perfect!

Eric: All right, that's it! Everyone stop! Just (BLEEP) stop right now! Listen up, people! I have anxiety! That means I'm in my shell and have a hard time expressing myself. I find it difficult to engage with others! So everyone shut the (BLEEP) up, because my anxiety is up here right now!!

Commercial: We live in a world of many distractions. It's hard to find peace. In the hustle and bustle of modern times, we've lost the one thing we all need. More quality one-on-one time... with our phone. But now you can have it with Buddha Box.

Kyle: What the hell is that?
Stan: I think it's Cartman.

Eric: Imagine being able to shut them out for a little while, Craig, so you can focus on what matters. With Buddha Box, you can cut out all the unwanted noise. Not have to deal with conversations that are of no interest to you...

P.C. Principal: Look, you and I have been having a lot of problems. Clearly what we both need is more quality, one-on-one time with our phones.

Man # 1: Come on, I didn't mean pussy drink as in female genitalia... Okay, I'm sorry! I'll order a Black Russian!
Bartender: Hey, what's all that racket down there?
Man # 2: Oh, there's some PC Babies upset about certain drink descriptions.
Bartender: Fine. We'll take them off the menu.
Man # 2: Who's makin' a difference? Who's the future?

Eric: What's going on?
Kyle: They just scored again, you fat (BLEEP)!
Eric: Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm dealing with my anxiety! Do you know how hard it is for people with my condition to come out and even do things like this? Living with anxiety is awful, huh?
Kyle: Can we get another goalie, please?
Eric: Oh, yeah! Sure! Yeah, because people with anxiety shouldn't be allowed to play sports, right, Kyle? You know, our world is dark and scary enough without people like you making us feel inferior... Asshole!

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Therapist: Anxiety can make you feel unable to cope. But living with someone who has anxiety can be a bit of a roller coaster, as well. We have to support our loved ones with their anxiety and try to understand their illness.
Tweek: I just feel like Craig has changed so much lately! He barely even talks to me anymore!
Therapist: Well, because his anxiety makes him feel like anything he says might sound wrong. That's why we must nurture our loved ones so they feel safe.

Kyle: I got news for you, Cartman! Everyone has anxiety! Everyone gets nervous! Everyone is afraid being around people! Everyone has feelings they'd rather stay home alone. And you know what they do? They get over it! And they stop being a piece of shit.
Eric: Everyone has anxiety?
Kyle: Yes.
Eric: Oh, my God! I know what I have to do now! Y-You're right, Kyle! You're right!
Kyle: What?! No, no! What did I just do?

Broadcaster: All right, South Park, and now here's that special treat we told you about. Live with us in the studio is a hot new band... The PC Babies. They're gonna perform their new song, which is about the injustice of white people in dreadlocks. It's called "Waaaaghgh."

Eric: I have found enlightenment, but there are so many others who suffer... It's very important to take the time to shut out the outside word. In the Hindu religion, there's a saying, "namaste." It means, "(BLEEP) you. I have anxiety."

Radio Owner: These are the PC Babies! Don't you know how big they are? In just one day, they protested a bar, stopped construction of a problematic viaduct, and wrote a hit single about cultural appropriation.

P.C. Principal: Our phones are the cause of stress, not the relief from it. We are banning phones and Buddha Boxes from school, and we suggest you all strictly limit their use at home, as well....
Strong Woman: I don't think anyone's listening to you.
P.C. Principal: Yeah. Nobody's listening. And nobody's watching...

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