& Sam: Welcome to the land of the freedom.
& Moises: Fucking gringo, don’t you ever get tired?
--
On the IMDb
30 нояб. 2016 г.
Desierto
& Sam: Welcome to the land of the freedom.
& Moises: Fucking gringo, don’t you ever get tired?
--
On the IMDb
Swear
The Walking Dead 7×6
& Cyndie: She’s not a bobber. She’s alive.
& Tara: Rule number one of scavenging... There’s nothing left in this world that isn’t hidden. We just have to find it.
& Heath: I get it now. If it’s you or someone else, you choose you. You take what you can, you take out who you have to, and you get to keep going. Nobody’s in this together, okay? Not anymore.
& Tara: Well, I never thought I’d be asking this, but where are all the men?.... All of them?
& Natania: We would stay hidden. And we would stay alive.
& Tara: I... I get why you’re doing it, but if you keep seeing everyone as an enemy, then enemies are all you’re gonna find.
& Tara: We didn’t start anything. We ended it. They’re dead.
Beatrice: You didn’t stop them. You can’t stop them. That was just an outpost. There are more... More Saviors... more outposts.
--
On the IMDb
29 нояб. 2016 г.
The Usual Suspects
& Keaton: I beg your pardon, but you can all go to hell.
& Verbal: That guy is tense. Tension is a killer.
& Kujan: First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let’s say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever’s sleeping is your man. You see, if you’re guilty, you know you’re caught, you get some rest, you let your guard down. You following me?
Verbal: No.
Kujan: Let me get to the point. I’m smarter than you.
& Keaton: No killing?
Verbal: No. If we do it my way.
& Kobayashi: One cannot be betrayed if one has no people.
& Verbal: Who is Keyser Söze? ... Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Söze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
& Verbal: ...to be in power... you didn’t need guns or money or even numbers. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn’t.
& Verbal: Keaton always said: «I don’t believe in God but I’m afraid of him.» Well, I believe in God. And the only thing that scares me... is Keyser Söze.
& Keaton: McManus. What the fuck is going on?
McManus: The strangest thing...
& Verbal: How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?
& Verbal: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.
--
+++ quotes on the IMDb
Funeral
Citizen Khan 5×3
& Mr. Khan: Assalaamu Alaikum, my boobtube followers.
& Mr. Khan: Sweetie, there aren’t enough truffles in the world to support that woman!
& Mr. Khan: I know this is a difficult time for everyone, but I’m just trying to get on with normal life. We Pakistanis are very good at making the best of a bad situation. Why do you think there are so many of us in Birmingham?
& Amjad: Maybe you should take over the funeral arrangements...
Mr. Khan: Amjad, it’s very easy. Muslim funerals are all about speed. Pray-pray, cry-cry, dig-dig, bish-bosh!
& Mr. Khan: I don’t want you to worry about anything. You just stay here, relax and enjoy yourself. Not enjoy yourself. I mean, be sad... in a good way!
& Mr. Khan: He was stressed so I’ve just been relieving him of his tension!
& Riaz: Yes, we have to perform the burial ritual, do the prayers and the body has to be buried today with the head facing Mecca.
Mr. Khan: What you telling us for? We know!
& Mr. Khan: Mr Khan, K... H for hat, A for Asian, N for knowledge.
& Alia: You never know what to say. When I found out, I texted Mrs Malik, OMG, coffin picture, sad face. What did we do before we had emojis?
& Mrs Malik: I don’t need to worry about being alone in the house. I won’t be back there for months...
Mr. Khan: What?!
Mrs Malik: I’ve booked myself on a Caribbean cruise. It’s what he would have wanted.
& Mr. Khan: What are you saying? That men shouldn’t wear women’s clothes?
Dave: Well, no, of course not. Obviously, I’m in favour of a non-binary definition of gender identity.
Mr. Khan: I thought you might be.
& Mr. Khan: Right, come on, come on, Riaz can’t sit on that coffin forever.
--
On the IMDb
28 нояб. 2016 г.
Paula Needs to Get Over Josh!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 1×18
& Paula: After everything I’ve done for your love story, to get you together with Josh Chan, and you betray me by picking sarcastic, alcoholic, unromantic Greg?
& Greg: This balloon is not stupid. It’s genius. The messiah is riding a unicorn over a rainbow. It’s like the Turducken of sympathy balloons.
& Heather: Oh, God, you’re one of those girls... Okay, dude, so the moment you’re craving isn’t anchored in real emotion. It’s a script dictated to you by our society’s patriarchal love narrative.
Rebecca: Wow, that’s fascinating. Did you learn that in school?
Heather: No, actually that’s from this month’s Glamor.
& Heather: Look, just tell him how you feel. Say, «Dude, I dig you. I got the feels.» I mean, angels don’t have to be singing or some crap. But just, like, be chill.
& Rebecca: Come on! Just take me back!!
& Rebecca: Come on. Please, let’s go have a donut. Right? Let’s go have a donut hole. Let’s go have a donut hole shoved into a donut. I thought of a name for it... It’s called a whole-nut.
& Rebecca: God, pep talks into a mirror do nothing but enhance the loneliness.
& Rebecca: Isn’t it romantic?
Greg: I don’t know. If you think about it, it’s kind of the epitome of Southern California pastiche. A chain hotel with vaguely French decor, and Italian food is being served tapas-style while a Filipino girl is marrying a Jewish guy, all with a lightly Arabian nights-style wedding. What was this Pinterest board called: Ironic juxtaposition?
& Greg: We’re way too sober for this wedding.
& Darryl: I love this. A chain hotel with French decor and Italian food served tapas-style while a Filipino girl marries a Jewish guy in a lightly Arabian nights-style wedding. It is so romantic.
--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
27 нояб. 2016 г.
Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 1×17
& Greg: Ugh. I gotta go to work.
Rebecca: No! No... Boo work and life and clothing. I don’t want to leave the sex cocoon.
& Rebecca: Greg?... Why would you even, like, mention his name? That’s weird.
Paula: Because he’s always buzzing around you... he’s, like, this sexy Italian fly, and you’re, like, this old meatball in an alley.
& Heather: Okay, in Psych 3, we studied human mating signals. They just did all of them: Shrugging, eye contact, head tilting, flamingo leg. Like... yep, flamingo leg. Next step is copulation. Oh. «Copulation» means «sex.»
& Josh: Hey, Sensei, you mind if I use the Dojo for a few minutes?
Sensei: What’s up?
Josh: Well, you ever have a friend and another friend and then you run into that friend and find out
that the first two friends are maybe doing stuff that friends aren’t supposed to do if they’re just friends? You know?
Sensei: Say no more.
& Doctor: Uh, I sense a truth bomb coming. Everyone take cover.
--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
26 нояб. 2016 г.
The Brand New Testament
Le tout nouveau testament
& Ea: God exists. He lives in Brussels. He’s an asshole. He’s horrible to his wife and daughter.
& Ea: That is my father. He’s God. Even before the creation of the world my father was already bored. So, he made Brussels.
& Ea: He needed something to relax and forget all that. That’s when he got the idea of humanity: All his toys, that he could watch suffer and struggle. A lot of misery and a little happiness, to give them false hope. It took him 8 years, but after all, it worked pretty well.
& Ea: My father attained a certain degree of virtuosity. Since then, he spent his days inventing new Laws of Universal Pain-in-the-assness.
& Dieu: I need to formulate this right...
- Law 2127: The quantity of sleep, needed, is always ten more minutes.
- Law 2129: When a body is submerged in a bathtub the telephone rings.
- Law 2125: A slice of bread always falls jam side down, otherwise the jam is on the wrong side.
- Law 2126: dishes never break until after they’ve been washed.
- Law 2218: The next line always moves faster.
- Law 2231: Pain in the ass never come one at a time.
& Jésus Christ: Go with your feeling. You don’t have to justify it. Choose any six from papa’s archive, give’em a little miracle, and you’re set.
Ea: I can’t make miracles.
Jésus Christ: Just a small miracle, something you can handle. Then with your 6 apostles, write a Brand New Testament.
Ea: I don’t want’em talking about me.
Jésus Christ: Make it about them. A Brand New Testament in which the apostles talk about themselves. That’d be so totally new!
Ea: You know, I can’t write well.
Jésus Christ: Delegate to someone who can. You think I wrote mine by myself?
& Ea: Thanks, J.C. you’re cool.
& Jésus Christ: Giving men knowledge of their own death... Crazy!
& Victor: Can you turn water into wine?
Ea: No.
Victor: Can you walk on water?
Ea: No.
Victor: Then you won’t get far.
& Aurélie: ...He said: Girly... Life is like a skating rink. A lot of people fall. A lot of people fall.
Victor: How do you write ’skating rink’? Two t’s or two n’s?
& Ea: For a long time, Jean-Claude was one of the greatest adventurers the world has ever known. Then one day, nobody knows how, it stopped. Then his life became very small...
Victor: It’s called reality, an ugly thing.
& Ea: Jean-Claude lived a shitty little life. He traded the hours of his life for a shitty job with shitty hours. When he found out how much time he had left to live... he sat on a bench. And he decided never to move again.
& La femme de Dieu: ... 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... 13, 14, 15!
& Priest: Such a beautiful face. It radiates peace... God tells us, ’love your neighbor as yourself’.
Dieu: I never said that.
Priest: Pardon?
Dieu: I never said that! I detest myself, so I’d never say it. I’d say, I dunno... detest your neighbor as you detest yourself.
& Ea: Francois was one of the many victims of ’Law 1522′ invented by my father. If, one day, you fall in love with a woman, there’s a great chance you will not spend your life with her.
& François: Shall we read a few lines of our Brand New Testament?
Victor: «Life is like a skating rink.»
Aurélie: That was me.
Victor: «If there was no air birds would fall.»
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
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Σ nostradamvs:..... И ещё я подумал потом – а как бы я жил, если бы точно знал дату и время собственной смерти?
25 нояб. 2016 г.
Homewrecker
Lucifer 2×9
& Lucifer: This is an exciting time, brother! Now that we’re making Los Angeles our home, the City of Angels can finally earn its name.
& Lucifer: Welcome to Los Angeles, city of reinvention, where you can become whomever you want...
& Dr. Linda: I find that people make Los Angeles their home for one of two reasons... Either they’re running from something, or looking for something.
& Eric Cooper: Lucifer Morningstar... you’re being evicted.
& Eric Cooper: I saw your «lease»... It was written in lipstick on a stripper’s thong. Not exactly legally binding.
Lucifer: Hm. Well, maybe we can write the new one in blood. I find that to be quite binding.
& Eric Cooper: I’ll have you removed.
Lucifer: It’s not that easy to remove me. Last time, it took the power of God.
& Ella: And that is how we do it! Ta’ vonlu!
Chloe: Ta’ von what?
Ella: It’s Klingon for «the king is trapped.» In Star Trek, they play three-dimensional chess.
Chloe: Okay.
& Lucifer: I mean, who leaps from the seventh floor? 13th, minimum.
& Lucifer: I know your type. You don’t respond to emotion, or intimidation. The only thing that gets you going is a deal. So, let’s make a deal, shall we?.. What do you desire?
& Lucifer: Well, maybe she’ll change her mind after I turn her world into a sphincter-loosening nightmare.
Chloe: Ew. Lucifer.
& Lucifer: You gentlemen have no idea who you’re dealing with, do you? Well... let me show you.
& Amenadiel: This is what humans call a «sit-in.»
& Lucifer: Mum, this is my therapist, Dr. Linda. Doctor, this is my mom in a disturbingly hot body.
& Dr. Linda: So... you’re, uh... God’s wife.
Mother: Ex-wife. I prefer to not be defined by Him.
Dr. Linda: Oh, of course, of course.
& Lucifer: Well, it occurred to me that much as I love this place, uh, I can always build a new one. I mean, it wasn’t the walls that made it my home.
Chloe: The people...
Lucifer: Yes. Well, the women.
& Lucifer: I always tell her the truth!
Dr. Linda: But you know she doesn’t believe you. You could show her your true face, but you don’t. Why is that?
& Dr. Linda: I think you did come to Los Angeles looking for something. But I also think you’ve stopped. Because maybe you’ve found it...
--
On the IMDb
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24 нояб. 2016 г.
Bang Bang Shoot Chute
Elementary 5×7
& Det. Bell: Isn’t cutting that line and shooting him literally overkill?
& Holmes: In a manner of speaking, Bennett Nealy was murdered twice.
& Holmes: So all we would have to do is look for four men trained to survive behind enemy lines, move without detection and kill without compunction. How hard could that be?
& Holmes: Wonder what your parole officer would think of you hustling chess. I mean, technically, it’s gambling.
& Shinwell: Say good night to your lady.
Holmes: .... I’ve been summoned. Going to have to forfeit, but... Bishop takes pawn at F2. King to E2, bishop to G4. Checkmate.
& Shinwell: You think you know everything. You don’t.
--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks.
23 нояб. 2016 г.
Mama's Hideaway
The Last Man on Earth 3×7
& Gail: We are from the church of what you’re wearing is what you’re wearing.
& Lewis: Tandy, I just wanted to thank you again for our trip. That really inspired me.
Phil: Hey, well, your love for Mark inspires me to be a better husband to Carol. So take that and put it in your butt. Uh, literally.
Lewis: I think you meant metaphorically.
Phil: Oh, yes. «Metorically.» Sorry.
Lewis: Close enough.
& Phil: Proud of you, bud. Your smile is super infectious, like the virus, huh? And again, I mean that metorically.
& Erica: It’s like Christmas Day, and I got all the presents I asked for.
& Todd: Um, Melissa just broke up with me.
Phil: Yes!.. Oh. I’m sorry. Uh, the «yes» was about the plate, not the breakup. As for the breakup: no.
& Gail: You leave my beverages out of this!
& Gail: Oh, my God, give it a rest!
Carol: I will not! You are supposed to be the responsible one. You are the goll-dang mom for ding-dong’s sake, you goll-dang ding-a-ling!
& Melissa: Take off your pants!
& Melissa: Take off your pants.
Phil: I’m wearing cargo shorts.
& Phil: Melissa, I can’t do that. I’m married to Carol.
& Phil: Look, I’m just gonna come right out and say it, ’cause honesty is the language of buds. Melissa tried to initiate a pregnancy bone session.
& Phil: I turned her down right away. If she’s been with Todd, I don’t touch that bod.
& Phil: Are you, like, a-a breakfast all day, uh, person?
Lewis: No, I eat breakfast in the morning.
--
On the IMDb
Bullies
Citizen Khan 5×2
& Mr. Khan: I have a very special new drone camera so I can keep an eye on the whole of Sparkhill. I call it NWA — Neighbourhood Watch Asian-style.
& Mr. Khan: What the bloomin’ heck are they doing?! When will these weird people realise that we’re not fancy-schmancy European any more?
& Mr. Khan: This neighbourhood’s going really downhill. I blame the immigrants.
& Amjad: But, sir, I don’t like violence.
Mr. Khan: It’s not about violence. Violence never solved anything. I’m talking about non-violent resistance, like Martin Luther Vandross... It’s about keeping a cool head, rising above it, letting it go in one ear and out the other.
& Amjad: You’re a fat, old man with a stupid beard and a silly, old-fashioned suit!
& Shazia: You said we have to stand up to bullies.
Mr. Khan: Not necessarily. Depends on the size of the bullies.
& Mr. Khan: Well, at times like this we have to remember we’re Pakistani. A tribal nation, ready to defend our family honour.
Amjad: So we’re going to stand up to the bullying?
Mr. Khan: No. We’re going to go in disguise.
Red Right Hand — Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
♪ Take a little walk ♪
♪ to the edge of town ♪
♪ And go across the tracks ♪
♪ Where the viaduct looms ♪
♪ like a bird of doom ♪
♪ As it shifts and cracks ♪
♪ Where secrets lie in the border fires ♪
♪ In the humming wires... ♪
♪ Take a little walk ♪
♪ to the edge of town ♪
♪ And go across the tracks ♪
♪ Where the viaduct looms ♪
♪ like a bird of doom ♪
♪ As it shifts and cracks ♪
♪ Where secrets lie in the border fires ♪
♪ In the humming wires... ♪
& Amjad: What are we going to do, sir? If I die, Shazia will kill me.
& Shazia: She is your niece, you know.
Alia: She’s your daughter. You win.
& Mr. Khan: Not so fast, my lime-green Pakistani princess.
--
On the IMDb
22 нояб. 2016 г.
Go Getters
The Walking Dead 7×5
& Sasha: It was in Glenn’s pocket. All Abraham had was a cigar.
& Jesus: I read somewhere that blue flowers inspire strength and calming.
Maggie: What’s green?
Jesus: Release.
& Jesus: Abraham... I liked him. He was...one of the only people I’d ever met who could say things that make you smile and wince at the same time.
& Sasha: What can Gregory do?
Maggie: He’s in charge.
Sasha: He’s an idiot.
Maggie: He’s a coward. They’re more dangerous.
& Enid: It’s messed up, but... that’s how it is. You do things for the ones you love. Loved.
Carl: It’s not for them...
& Gregory: Please, tell Negan I understand the benefits in, uh...crossing the aisle.
Saviour: No. No reason for that.
Gregory: No?
Saviour: Because, for now, I’m your Negan. ’Cause that’s what Negan wants.
& Saviour: You want to slide that one back in?... Sorry. I shouldn’t ask. You want to slide that one back in, period.
& Saviour: One last thing, Gregory. Could I just get a kneel out of you?
& Jesus: Maggie and Sasha are staying. I’m staying. We’re all gonna be one big happy dysfunctional family.
& Maggie: This is our home now. So you’ll learn to start to call me by my name. Not Marsha, not «dear,» not «honey.» Maggie. Maggie Rhee.
& Sasha: If you want to make it up to us... can you find where Negan lives?
& Maggie: We don’t need anything to remember him by. We have us.
& Maggie: For this new morning, with its light, for rest and shelter of the night, for health and food, for love and friends, for everything that goodness sends. Amen.
--
On the IMDb
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Halloween 4: The Revenge of Rod Skyhook
Modern Family 8×5
& Lily: How much candy do we have to hand out before I go trick-or-treating? Can’t I just take a knife and go by myself?
& Cameron: Maybe I do have an overdeveloped sense of justice. But maybe I wouldn’t... if my partner took my side every once in a while.
Mitchell: I take your side when I agree with you.
Cameron: That’s easy. Anybody can do that. Marriage is about sticking up for your partner, even... when you don’t agree with him.
Mitchell: Is it?
--
On the IMDb
21 нояб. 2016 г.
Citizen Kane
& Charles Foster Kane: Rosebud...
& Charles Foster Kane: You’re right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars next year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I’ll have to close this place in... 60 years.
& Charles Foster Kane: You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn’t been very rich, I might have been a really great man.
Walter Parks Thatcher: Don’t you think you are?
Charles Foster Kane: I think I did pretty well under the circumstances.
Walter Parks Thatcher: What would you like to have been?
Charles Foster Kane: Everything you hate.
& Mr. Bernstein: A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn’t think he’d remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn’t see me at all, but I’ll bet a month hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t thought of that girl.
& Jerry Thompson: He made an awful lot of money...
Mr. Bernstein: Well, it’s no trick to make a lot of money... if what you want to do is make a lot of money.
& Charles Foster Kane: Mr. Carter, here’s a three-column headline in the Chronicle. Why hasn’t the Inquirer a three-column headline?
Herbert Carter: The news wasn’t big enough.
Charles Foster Kane: Mr. Carter, if the headline is big enough, it makes the news big enough.
& Charles Foster Kane: I’ve got it all written out here.
Jedediah Leland: You don’t want to make any promises you don’t want to keep.
Charles Foster Kane: These’ll be kept. «I’ll provide the people of this city... with a daily paper that will tell all the news honestly. I will also provide...»
Jedediah Leland: That’s two sentences starting with «I.»
Charles Foster Kane: People will know who’s responsible... and they’ll get the truth in the Inquirer, quickly, simply and entertainingly. No special interests will be allowed to interfere with that truth. «I will also provide them with a fighting and tireless champion of their rights... as citizens and as human beings.» Signed: «Charles Foster Kane.»
& Mr. Bernstein: There’s a lot of statues in Europe you haven’t bought yet.
Charles Foster Kane: You can’t blame me. They’ve been making statues for some two thousand years, and I’ve only been collecting for five.
& — Oh, mama, here they come! Shoot me while I’m happy.
& Mr. Bernstein: Just old age. It’s the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don’t look forward to being cured of.
& Jedediah Leland: I can remember everything. That’s my curse, young man. It’s the greatest curse that’s ever been inflicted on the human race: memory.
& Jedediah Leland: I suppose he had a private sort of greatness, but he kept it to himself.
& Jedediah Leland: He never gave himself away. He never gave anything away. He just left you a tip.
& Jedediah Leland: Heh. He had a generous mind. I don’t suppose anybody ever had so many opinions. But he never believed in anything except Charlie Kane.
& Susan Alexander Kane: I had a toothache, and I don’t know many people.
Charles Foster Kane: I know too many people. I guess we’re both lonely.
& Charles Foster Kane: I made no campaign promises... because, until a few weeks ago, I had no hope of being elected. Now, however, I have something more than a hope. Jim Gettys has something less than a chance. Every straw vote... every independent poll shows that I will be elected. Very well... Now I can afford to make some promises.
The workingman and the slum child... know they can expect my best efforts in their interests. The decent, ordinary citizens know that I’ll do everything in my power... to protect the underprivileged, the underpaid, and the underfed.
& Charles Foster Kane: I’d make my promises now... if I weren’t too busy arranging to keep them.
& Charles Foster Kane: What’s this all about, Emily?
Emily Monroe Norton Kane: It may not be about anything at all. I intend to find out.
Charles Foster Kane: Where are you going?
Emily Monroe Norton Kane: I’m going to «185 West 74th Street.»
& Charles Foster Kane: There’s only one person in the world to decide what I’ll do. And that’s me.
& Jedediah Leland: You remember the workingman? ... You used to write an awful lot about the workingman... He’s turning into something called «organized labor.» You won’t like that one little bit when you find out... it means your workingman expects something as his right, and not your gift. When your precious underprivileged really get together... Oh, boy... That’ll add up to something bigger than your privilege... then I don’t know what you’ll do.
& Jedediah Leland: You don’t care about anything except you. You persuade people that you love them so much that they ought to love you back. Only you want love on your own terms. It’s something to be played your way, according to your rules...
& Charles Foster Kane: A toast to love on my terms... Those are the only terms anybody knows: His own.
& Charles Foster Kane: It’s not your job to give your opinion of Mrs. Kane’s talents. You’re supposed to train her voice, Signor Matiste. Nothing more. Please continue with the lesson.
Matiste: But, Mr. Kane. I’ll be the laughingstock of the musical world. People will think...
Charles Foster Kane: You’re concerned what people will think? Perhaps I can enlighten you a bit. I’m an authority on what people will think. Heh. The newspapers for example. I run several newspapers between here and San Francisco.
& Charles Foster Kane: Susan! Whatever I do, I do because I love you.
Susan Alexander Kane: You don’t love me. You want me to love you.
& Raymond: Rosebud? I’ll tell you about Rosebud... How much is it worth to you? A thousand dollars?..
& Raymond: Like I tell you, the old man acted kind of funny sometimes... but I knew how to handle him...
Jerry Thompson: Need a lot of service?
Raymond: Yeah. But I knew how to handle him.
& Reporter: If you could’ve found out what Rosebud meant, I bet that would’ve explained everything.
Jerry Thompson: No, I don’t think so; no. Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Rosebud was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything... I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life. No, I guess Rosebud is just a... piece in a jigsaw puzzle... a missing piece.
--
+++ quotes on the IMDb
Members Only
South Park 20×8
& President-elect: Well, do I look presidential?
Caitlyn: Honestly, you look 20 years younger.
& Eric: Well, we’d like to go. We can’t tolerate this world anymore, and we’d like to talk to whoever we can about getting to Mars as soon as possible, please.
Space-X Clerk: Uh-huh. Take a number and join the others.
Eric: What others?....
& Space-X Clerk: A lot of people want to leave the planet right now.
Eric: Aw, God damn it. Is that Cher?!
& P.C. Principal: God damn it! How the fuck did this happen?
& President-elect: Do you remember the day you fired me, PC Principal?
P.C. Principal: I know we’ve had some differences, uh...
President-elect: I was upset because a bunch of immigrants were changing my class, and I believe your response was that I needed to go and learn their language, be more open-minded...
P.C. Principal: I’m sorry that you’re position here at the school was terminated.
President-elect: Are you really? Are you really sorry?
& President-elect: Because you see, PC Principal, you helped create me. You insisted that I was a bigot, that I was an intolerant relic left over from another time. But now... I’m your president.
Ω W-O-W.
& Lennart Bedrager: When the servers go online, there will be panic, chaos, and war. And from the ashes, a new world will rise... A world where everyone is happy and a-singing and has a-no secrets... Like Denmark!
& Dildo Shwaggins: Didn’t you hear what that guy said? They’re gonna set countries against each other. We have way bigger problems.
Gerald Broflovski: You don’t know my fucking wife!
& Eric: Oh, no, no, no, you’re a male chauvinist sexist pig, Butters. You don’t get to go to Mars.
& President-elect: So, I can do whatever the fuck I want in here now, right?
General: Yes, sir. Here are all our military secrets and all classified information.
President-elect: Okay, good.
General: This is the drone program. In there, you can kill anyone on earth remotely. Here’s the keys.
President-elect: Thanks.
General: In here is satellite surveillance where you can monitor anyone’s conversation live.
President-elect: Oh, that’ll come in handy.
General: Extreme interrogation room in case you ever find interrogation necessary.
President-elect: Oh, hell yeah, it’s necessary. Let’s do it.
General: And here, of course, is the famous football, where you can order a nuclear attack in four minutes.
President-elect: Love me some football.
General: And finally, in here is the diplomatic strategy and negotiating room.
President-elect: ..... Oh, geez, this doesn’t look very fun.
& Eric: Butters. You expect people to believe that you went from being the biggest asshole in the school to a soft-hearted feminist like me? Fat chance.
& Eric: I mean, when women make vagina jokes, I think it’s the funniest thing ever.
Butters: Yeah, I swear I don’t care how many times Amy Schumer talks about her vagina, I laugh every time.
& General-1: ...when the Chinese are able to see all our e-mails and online activity, we believe they will most likely attack us.
General-2: Also, there are ground troops mobilizing in Paris because the French believe when we see all their e-mails, we will most likely attack them.
& Elon Mask: ...Even food that changes form. You see this? It’s a pizza... Only four inches long, and yet when heated, it expands to make enough pizza to feed 100 people. I call it... the Pizza Pocket.
& Eric: Excuse me, Mr. Musk. This is all super interesting and shit, but can we see the Mars rocket now?
& Boris Johnson: ...whatever you do, don’t eat the mem’bries. Don’t eat the mem’bries! They’re bad!
President-elect: Mem’bries?
Boris Johnson: I’m afraid everyone here who ate the mem’bries wanted to go back in the past, you see? Hasn’t worked out too well for us.
& Big Mem’br: People want to ’member? They’re gonna ’member.
--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack!
Кейт Фокс — Англия и англичане (05)
Правила английской иронии
& Именно вездесущность иронии и то значение, которое мы ей придаем, делают английский юмор уникальным. Ирония — не пикантная приправа, а основной ингредиент в английском юморе. Ирония — всему голова.& «С англичанами вся беда в том, — пожаловался мне один американский бизнесмен, — что невозможно уловить, когда они шутят, никогда не знаешь, всерьез они говорят или нет».
Правило преуменьшения
& Наша склонность к преуменьшению вполне объяснима. Причина тому — строгий запрет на выказывание чрезмерной серьезности, сентиментальности, хвастовства и своих переживаний. Опасаясь показаться чересчур пафосными, эмоциональными или пылкими, мы впадаем в другую крайность — демонстрируем сухость и безразличие. Согласно правилу преуменьшения, изнурительную хроническую болезнь мы называем «досадной неприятностью»; о пережитом страшном происшествии говорим: «Ну, это не совсем то, что я бы для себя выбрал»; при виде захватывающей дух красоты констатируем: «Довольно мило»; о великолепном представлении или выдающемся достижении отзываемся: «Неплохо». Акт гнусной жестокости в нашей интерпретации — «не очень дружественный поступок», непростительно глупое суждение — «не очень умная оценка». Мы говорим: в Антарктиде «довольно холодно», в Сахаре «несколько жарковато на мой вкус»; выдающийся человек или потрясающее событие, которые в других культурах были бы оценены в превосходных степенях, у нас получат лишь один эпитет — nice («славный/чудный/милый» и т. п.) или, если мы хотим выразить одобрение в более красноречивой форме, — very nice («очень славный» и т. п.).& Характеризуя свои тяжелые, болезненные переживания как «неприятность», мы признаем правила иронии и табу на излишнюю серьезность, но в то же время мы насмехаемся над тем, что сами, как это ни абсурдно, покорно соблюдаем эти законы. Мы демонстрируем сдержанность, но в столь преувеличенной манере, что тоже (тихо) посмеиваемся над своим поведением. Мы пародируем сами себя. Каждое преуменьшение — это личная насмешка над правилами английской самобытности.
Правило самоуничижения
& Наше пристрастие к самоуничижению можно рассматривать как форму иронии. Обычно, это вовсе не проявление подлинной скромности; мы просто говорим противоположное тому, что имеем в виду, или — по крайней мере — противоположное тому, что, по нашему замыслу, люди должны понять.Далее >>
20 нояб. 2016 г.
Mr. Right
& Martha: My name’s Martha and I’m a T. Rex!
& Mr. Right: Who shoots cake...
& Mr. Right: This would have been such a nice wedding...
& Hopper: Well, that was fun... ish.
& Martha: Explain to me in two words why I should hang with you.
Mr. Right: Two words? Um.... «Or else.»
& Hopper: Forget Hopper. Let’s focus on one psycho at a time.
& Mr. Right: Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve had an idea. It’s more of a theory, really...
Everything we see, like physical things, it’s all just islands. And under it, carrying it, is this sweeping current. And if you pay attention, you can start to feel it...
Now if we can feel the current, we can feel other things in the current. People... And we can feel how the current will move them. And we can see where they’ll go. It’s all in the movement, you see, it pushes itself. It’s easier to move with it than against it.
& Martha: Are you mad?
Mr. Right: No. No, I’m not mad. I think I’m crazy.
& Mr. Right: Are you upset because I killed that guy? Martha, how I feel about that guy has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
& Mr. Right: I don’t think before I act sometimes but I’m not a bad person. You think bad people have the capacity to... love and stuff?
& Hopper: NSA, Interpol, FBI have made a combined nine attempts to take him into custody in the last two years. Every direct confrontation has ended in absolute, unmitigated disaster. He dances in... A storm of bullets and chaos, and he dances out.
& Martha: How’d you do that?
Mr. Right: Oh, some people waste time with the «fighting.» I skip straight to the «winning.»
& Johnny Moon: How does it feel now? Huh, bitch?
Martha: I feel... I feel motivated.
& Mr. Right: I’ll tell you what. If I promise to put the gun down, will you not use karate?
& Mr. Right: Who the fuck wants to be normal anyway?
& Martha: You know, I make shit happen.
Mr. Right: Confidence!
Martha: Yeah. Confidence.
& Mr. Right: All right, I’ll tell you what. I got a plan. Jalapeño... We go to Thailand... For the Allosaurus dig. Lime... We go to Brazil for the pterodactyls. Whichever one you pick, that’s the one you really wanted.
& Martha: Whatcha looking at?
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
& Mr. Right: Who shoots cake...
& Mr. Right: This would have been such a nice wedding...
& Hopper: Well, that was fun... ish.
& Martha: Explain to me in two words why I should hang with you.
Mr. Right: Two words? Um.... «Or else.»
& Hopper: Forget Hopper. Let’s focus on one psycho at a time.
& Mr. Right: Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve had an idea. It’s more of a theory, really...
Everything we see, like physical things, it’s all just islands. And under it, carrying it, is this sweeping current. And if you pay attention, you can start to feel it...
Now if we can feel the current, we can feel other things in the current. People... And we can feel how the current will move them. And we can see where they’ll go. It’s all in the movement, you see, it pushes itself. It’s easier to move with it than against it.
& Martha: Are you mad?
Mr. Right: No. No, I’m not mad. I think I’m crazy.
& Mr. Right: Are you upset because I killed that guy? Martha, how I feel about that guy has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
& Mr. Right: I don’t think before I act sometimes but I’m not a bad person. You think bad people have the capacity to... love and stuff?
& Hopper: NSA, Interpol, FBI have made a combined nine attempts to take him into custody in the last two years. Every direct confrontation has ended in absolute, unmitigated disaster. He dances in... A storm of bullets and chaos, and he dances out.
& Martha: How’d you do that?
Mr. Right: Oh, some people waste time with the «fighting.» I skip straight to the «winning.»
& Johnny Moon: How does it feel now? Huh, bitch?
Martha: I feel... I feel motivated.
& Mr. Right: I’ll tell you what. If I promise to put the gun down, will you not use karate?
& Mr. Right: Who the fuck wants to be normal anyway?
& Martha: You know, I make shit happen.
Mr. Right: Confidence!
Martha: Yeah. Confidence.
& Mr. Right: All right, I’ll tell you what. I got a plan. Jalapeño... We go to Thailand... For the Allosaurus dig. Lime... We go to Brazil for the pterodactyls. Whichever one you pick, that’s the one you really wanted.
& Martha: Whatcha looking at?
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
The Geology Elevation
The Big Bang Theory 10×9
& Sheldon: Everything is stupid and I want to go home.
& Howard: I didn’t buy it. I made it.
Bernadette: Last question... What is wrong with you?!
& Penny: It’s like scrolling through the emojis on my phone.
& Sheldon: Ye— why? Eh, why?! Oh, that’s why.
Amy: Sounds like the night we had coitus.
& Sheldon: I admire you, Leonard... You’re happy with who you are. You don’t get jealous of other people. Instead of being weighed down by ambition, you just float along like a dead body in a river...
& Amy: Anybody else want to try? I’m gonna go make some more tea and question my life choices.
& Howard: What is going on? Did you upgrade his software last night?
Leonard: I think he might be learning on his own.
Raj: Then the robot uprising has begun.
& Raj: He doesn’t just look like C-3PO, now he walks like him.
& Penny: I think I hate all of you nerds!
& Sheldon: I didn’t punch him! He turned around, and I gave him a Captain Kirk karate chop... I’m not even sure he knows I did it.
& Professor Hawking: I know how you feel. I have never won a Nobel Prize.
Penny: Oh, wow, that doesn’t seem fair.
Professor Hawking: It’s fine. I’ve been on The Simpsons.
& Ellen: A new study came out, and it said that laughing makes your brain work better. And I know that’s true because laughing has made me the «smartiest.» Although, on the other hand, babies laugh a lot, and they’re dumb.
--
On the IMDb
+ Vanity Card # 543.
Кейт Фокс — Англия и англичане (04)
Как важно не быть серьезным
& Даже если вы в совершенстве владеете английским языком, вы все равно никогда не будете чувствовать себя уверенно в разговоре с англичанами. Пусть ваш английский безупречен, но ваша поведенческая «грамматика» будет полна вопиющих ошибок.& Серьезность приемлема, выспренность недопустима. Искренность дозволена, пылкость строго запрещена. Напыщенность, важничанье — вне закона. Серьезные вопросы можно обсуждать серьезно, но никто не должен воспринимать слишком серьезно самого себя.
& Напускная, бьющая через край пылкость и помпезная выспренность, свойственные почти всем американским политикам, не найдут понимания у англичан. Мы наблюдаем их выступления в программах теленовостей с отстраненной снисходительностью, изумляясь легковерности ликующих толп, покупающихся на подобную высокопарную чушь. Иногда речи американских политиков пробуждают в нас не презрительную насмешливость, а неловкость: нам трудно понять, как они решаются произносить постыдные банальности таким смехотворно пафосным тоном. Разумеется, мы предполагаем, что политикам положено говорить банальности — наши в этом отношении от американских не отличаются, — но нас поражает и заставляет морщиться их убежденный тон. То же самое можно сказать и про излишне сентиментальные, слезливые речи американских актеров на церемониях вручения премии «Оскар» и других кинопремий, на которые английские телезрители все как один реагируют одинаково: «Меня сейчас стошнит».
& Разумеется, не только американцы становятся объектом наших циничных нападок, хотя янки больше, чем другие, дают поводов для критики. С таким же неприятием и презрением мы воспринимаем сентиментальный патриотизм вождей и напыщенную серьезность писателей, художников, артистов, музыкантов, ученых мужей и других общественных деятелей всех национальностей, ведь англичане за двадцать шагов чуют малейший намек на важничанье, они способны уловить его даже на зернистом изображении телеэкрана или в иностранной речи, которую совсем не понимают. Oh, Come off it!
& Во фразе «I know my rights» нашли полное отражение присущие англичанам непримиримый индивидуализм и сильно развитое чувство справедливости — исключительно английское сочетание качеств. Однако, на мой взгляд, пассивный цинизм, заключенный во фразе «Oh, come off it!», более точно характеризует психологию англичан, чем воинствующий активизм фразы «I know my rights». Возможно, поэтому, как кто-то однажды заметил, у англичан не бывает революций, их заменяет сатира.
& Это мое суждение наверняка будет встречено привычным «Oh, come off it!».
& Молодежь и те, кто восприимчив к лингвистическим изыскам, возможно, вместо фразы «Oh, come off it!» иронично заметят: «Yeah, right!» — но смысл от этого не изменится. Равно как нет смысловых различий между последней сленговой новинкой up themselves и более традиционным full of themselves, применяемых в отношении людей, нарушающих правило «Как важно не быть серьезным».
19 нояб. 2016 г.
My Roanoke Nightmare. Chapter 10
American Horror Story
6×10
& Lana Winters: Why did you agree to this interview?.. I know for a fact that you turned everybody else down. Diane Sawyer. Barbara Walters...
Lee: Because of you. Because of... who you are. And what you’ve been through. I mean, Jesus. You killed your own son. Bloody Face.
& Lot: She talks too much.
& Bob Kinnaman: The Roanoke house is the Holy Grail of spectral phenomenon.
Dave Elder: It’s either the greatest modern day proof of paranormal activity...
Bob Kinnaman: Or the biggest fraud since Bernie Madoff.
& Lee: You stupid. You deserve to die.
& Lee: You know when you’re drawing a cat or a house and you picture that cat or that house in your mind and it looks so perfect but you just can’t get your hand to live up to that picture in your head?.. That’s what it’s like to be a parent.
You picture how you want to be and it’s so wonderful and flawless... but you can’t ever live up to that picture you imagined.
& Lee: If those settlers didn’t want anybody bothering them... they shouldn’t have chosen such a pretty place to make their home.
--
On the IMDb
Cricket
Citizen Khan 5×1
& Mr. Khan: Assalaamu alaikum, Great Britain. Mr Khan speaking. Welcome to my Boob Tube channel. I know the country’s gone to pot now a woman’s running it, but don’t worry, I’m here.
& Mrs. Khan: I’ve made my own Pakistani version of Victoria sponge cake. It’s like a normal Victoria sponge cake, with added spice, fresh garlic and garam masala.
& Mr. Khan: Blooming hell, Dave. What’s with all the questions? Who are you? Ginger Luther?
& Shazia: Everyone, this is my husband, Amjad. He’s a policeman.
Mr. Khan: I’m POLICED to meet you too!
& Mrs. Khan: ...And you can make that happen, can’t you?
Mr. Khan: Can I? I mean, may I?.. It would be my pleasure!
& Mrs. Khan: You said you would do anything for me.
Mr. Khan: I was thinking chocolates. Or flowers. Chocolate, mainly.
& Mr. Khan: I think it was him. Brown. Big beard. They all look the same! Like a lot of blooming sheep. Meh! Meh!
& Mr. Khan: Brilliant! That’s it! Let’s go and tell a room full of women that they can’t have what they want. They’ll understand, won’t they?
& Policeman @ Stadium: I’m looking for a Mr Khan. Mr Khan?
Sadiq Khan: Yes, that’s me. Citizen Khan at your service.
Policeman: You need to leave, sir. Come on.
Sadiq Khan: But, hang on, I’m the Mayor of London.
Policeman: Yeah, yeah, and I’m the Archbishop of Canterbury.
& Mr. Khan: Hold on! Let’s take a selfie! I’m community leader too. Khan — K, H for hat, A for Asian, N for knowledge. Ha-ha!
& Amjad: The call’s gone out for a Pakistani man with a beard and a funny accent...
Mr. Khan: This is Birmingham. I’ll be fine.
& Mr. Khan: I’m sorry... Say something.
Mrs. Khan: Idiot.
Mr. Khan: Something else?
& Mr. Khan: You’re sorry? What for? Is this a trap? A dream? A hidden camera TV show. Hello! Is anyone there?
--
On the IMDb
Кейт Фокс — Англия и англичане (03)
Правило игры на угадывание
& В Англии считается не совсем приличным прямо спрашивать у кого-то «What do you do?» («Чем вы занимаетесь?»), хотя, если подумать, при знакомстве такой вопрос напрашивается сам собой, тем более что это — наиболее легкий способ завязать разговор.Мы, англичане, щепетильны не только в отношении вопросов частной жизни. По-видимому, в нас живет некая извращенная потребность во всем усложнять себе жизнь, и потому, повинуясь этикету, мы стремимся окольными путями выяснить, чем люди зарабатывают себе на жизнь. Забавно наблюдать, к каким разным ухищрениям прибегают англичане, чтобы узнать профессию своего нового знакомого, не задавая запрещенного вопроса.
Правило удаленности
& Свои личные дела англичане обсуждают только с самыми близкими людьми, личную жизнь друзей и родных — в более широком социальном кругу, личные дела знакомых, коллег и соседей — с еще более многочисленным кругом людей, а подробности жизни общественных деятелей и знаменитостей обсуждаются почти с каждым. Это — правило удаленности. Чем «удаленнее» от тебя объект обсуждения, тем шире круг людей, с которыми ты можешь сплетничать об этом человеке.Англичане-мужчины и правило демонстрации оживленности и трех чувств
& В Англии (и в наших «бывших колониях») оживленный тон и экспрессивные реплики — прерогатива женщин.Я не хочу сказать, что английский речевой этикет запрещает мужчинам выражать эмоции. Англичанам-мужчинам дозволено проявлять свои чувства, во всяком случае некоторые, а точнее, три: удивление, при условии, что оно выражается бранными восклицаниями; гнев (обычно выражается так же) и восторг/торжество (тоже выражается громкими возгласами и сквернословием). Таким образом, порой очень трудно определить, какое из трех дозволенных чувств англичанин пытается выразить.
Правила английского юмора, или юмор — всему голова
& В других культурах юмору отводится «время и место»; это особый, отдельный вид разговора. А в диалогах англичан, о чем бы мы ни беседовали, всегда чувствуется скрытый юмор. Даже приветствуя кого-то или обсуждая погоду, мы ухитряемся превратить свои слова в своеобразную шутку. Почти никогда разговоры англичан не обходятся без подтрунивания, поддразнивания, иронии, уничижительных замечаний, шутливого самобичевания, насмешек или просто глупых высказываний. Мы генетически запрограммированы на юмор, настроены на него «по умолчанию», если хотите, и не можем произвольно включить или отключить эту опцию. Для англичан правила юмора равносильны законам природы: мы подчиняемся им автоматически, неосознанно, как закону всемирного тяготения.18 нояб. 2016 г.
Eddie the Eagle
& Janette: He’s off to the Olympics again.
& Eddie Edwards: Tell him I’ve made new plans.
Terry: New plans? What plans?
Eddie: I’m gonna be an Olympic ski-jumper.
& Terry: This is some kind of joke, right?
Eddie: Dad, it’s not like I’m taking up ballet. It’s still skiing. Just a bit higher.
& Terry: Do you really wanna put yourself through this again? It’s a world that doesn’t wanna know you.
Eddie: So what’s new?
& Petra: An Englishman sleeping in my cupboard. Happens a lot. You know why? It’s the good German beer... and not this pee-pee water you’re drinking back home. Am I right?
Eddie: Well, no, actually. I don’t drink.
& Eddie: Hiya, fellas, I’m Eddie Edwards. I’m Great Britain. Oh God. Nude.
& Eddie: So, basically I... I’ve just started on the 40 meters and I’m making solid progress. But wondered if I could get some advice and tips.
Matti Nykänen: How do you land, exactly?
& Erik Moberg: How old are you?
Eddie: I’m 22.
Erik Moberg: In Norway, the time to be starting jumping is when you are six years old... Or younger.
& Eddie: How come I’ve never heard of him?
Petra: They kicked him out.
Eddie: What for?
Petra: Arrogance. Bad discipline. Drunkenness. Fornication. What you probably call «being a total loser.»
Eddie: Definitely him.
& Bronson Peary: They don’t understand the jumping paradox, man. This is not just a sport, it’s an art. It’s spiritual, man. You gotta free your mind first. You gotta just, kinda fly, man. You wanna just fly—
Eddie: What is the jumping paradox?
Peary: What?
Eddie: The jumping paradox. That thing you said a second ago.
& Peary: I’m gonna say this once. The foundation of any jump is what?
Eddie: Take-off.
Peary: Very good. Very good. The paradox is simultaneously stretching up... and leaning into your descent. It’s unnatural because you actually take-off downwards. Okay? Your body has gotta lean forward in order to give you the lift. Like the wing of a bird. Come on, man, be the wing of a bird!
& Peary: It started with this little baby. This little 15 meter little vixen. You manage to land that because it’s meant to hook you into the sport... otherwise you wouldn’t bother trying. The 40 meter, when you stack you get bruised, which I don’t need to explain to you. Sorry. The 70 meter... you break bones and you’re lucky if you can walk again. The 90 meter. The goddess. In the Wild West we’d be measuring you for your coffin before you even reach the stairs.
& Eddie: Any tips, then?
Peary: Don’t die.
& Peary: I’m not your coach. Okay? Seriously. A coach teaches you how to jump properly. I’m teaching you to land to get you out of my hair as soon as possible. Got it?
& Eddie: Do you think I’m mad?
Peary: Yeah. You’re completely mad, man. But, hey... you kinda gotta be mad to do this sport, right?
& Peary: You wanna know what his last words to me were? «You will never take jumping seriously ’cause you do not take yourself seriously.»
Eddie: Okay. Are they gonna be your last words to me, too?
Peary: Don’t make the same mistake, Eddie. Okay? I’m begging you. Do it right or don’t do it at all.
& Peary: Don’t make this your moment, please! They’ll make you a fool.
Eddie: Well, I’d rather be a sober fool than a drunken coward!
& Eddie: I was messing around after the 70 meter jump the other day. I was very excited. But I take jumping very seriously. In fact, I love it. I love it very nearly as much as proving people wrong. Which is why I’ve decided to compete in the 90 meters.
& Peary: Eddie, listen. You got more dedication, more heart and spirit than any jumpers out there. Any of them. Jesus, I spent six months trying to get rid of you, dude. You’re like gum on my shoe, you never gave up.
& Peary: This is your moment. You’re Eddie «The Eagle,» man.
& Warren Sharp: In jumping there’s an expression... «You’re never bigger than the hill.»
& Frank King: ’You have broken world records. You have established many of your own personal bests... and some of you have even soared like an eagle.’
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
& Eddie Edwards: Tell him I’ve made new plans.
Terry: New plans? What plans?
Eddie: I’m gonna be an Olympic ski-jumper.
& Terry: This is some kind of joke, right?
Eddie: Dad, it’s not like I’m taking up ballet. It’s still skiing. Just a bit higher.
& Terry: Do you really wanna put yourself through this again? It’s a world that doesn’t wanna know you.
Eddie: So what’s new?
& Petra: An Englishman sleeping in my cupboard. Happens a lot. You know why? It’s the good German beer... and not this pee-pee water you’re drinking back home. Am I right?
Eddie: Well, no, actually. I don’t drink.
& Eddie: Hiya, fellas, I’m Eddie Edwards. I’m Great Britain. Oh God. Nude.
& Eddie: So, basically I... I’ve just started on the 40 meters and I’m making solid progress. But wondered if I could get some advice and tips.
Matti Nykänen: How do you land, exactly?
& Erik Moberg: How old are you?
Eddie: I’m 22.
Erik Moberg: In Norway, the time to be starting jumping is when you are six years old... Or younger.
& Eddie: How come I’ve never heard of him?
Petra: They kicked him out.
Eddie: What for?
Petra: Arrogance. Bad discipline. Drunkenness. Fornication. What you probably call «being a total loser.»
Eddie: Definitely him.
& Bronson Peary: They don’t understand the jumping paradox, man. This is not just a sport, it’s an art. It’s spiritual, man. You gotta free your mind first. You gotta just, kinda fly, man. You wanna just fly—
Eddie: What is the jumping paradox?
Peary: What?
Eddie: The jumping paradox. That thing you said a second ago.
& Peary: I’m gonna say this once. The foundation of any jump is what?
Eddie: Take-off.
Peary: Very good. Very good. The paradox is simultaneously stretching up... and leaning into your descent. It’s unnatural because you actually take-off downwards. Okay? Your body has gotta lean forward in order to give you the lift. Like the wing of a bird. Come on, man, be the wing of a bird!
& Peary: It started with this little baby. This little 15 meter little vixen. You manage to land that because it’s meant to hook you into the sport... otherwise you wouldn’t bother trying. The 40 meter, when you stack you get bruised, which I don’t need to explain to you. Sorry. The 70 meter... you break bones and you’re lucky if you can walk again. The 90 meter. The goddess. In the Wild West we’d be measuring you for your coffin before you even reach the stairs.
& Eddie: Any tips, then?
Peary: Don’t die.
& Peary: I’m not your coach. Okay? Seriously. A coach teaches you how to jump properly. I’m teaching you to land to get you out of my hair as soon as possible. Got it?
& Eddie: Do you think I’m mad?
Peary: Yeah. You’re completely mad, man. But, hey... you kinda gotta be mad to do this sport, right?
& Peary: You wanna know what his last words to me were? «You will never take jumping seriously ’cause you do not take yourself seriously.»
Eddie: Okay. Are they gonna be your last words to me, too?
Peary: Don’t make the same mistake, Eddie. Okay? I’m begging you. Do it right or don’t do it at all.
& Peary: Don’t make this your moment, please! They’ll make you a fool.
Eddie: Well, I’d rather be a sober fool than a drunken coward!
& Eddie: I was messing around after the 70 meter jump the other day. I was very excited. But I take jumping very seriously. In fact, I love it. I love it very nearly as much as proving people wrong. Which is why I’ve decided to compete in the 90 meters.
& Peary: Eddie, listen. You got more dedication, more heart and spirit than any jumpers out there. Any of them. Jesus, I spent six months trying to get rid of you, dude. You’re like gum on my shoe, you never gave up.
& Peary: This is your moment. You’re Eddie «The Eagle,» man.
& Warren Sharp: In jumping there’s an expression... «You’re never bigger than the hill.»
& Frank King: ’You have broken world records. You have established many of your own personal bests... and some of you have even soared like an eagle.’
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Weathering Heights
Modern Family 8×4
& Claire: What did you do to your face?
Phil: Just a little color to make my eyes pop. Like yours are now.
Haley: Is this how we find out you’re transitioning? Oh, please don’t pick a young name. The world doesn’t need a fifty-year old Jasmine.
& Claire: I am a well-read college graduate. I think I’m capable of doing a crossword puzzle.
Alex: Okay, professor. Six-letter word, Archimedes’ exclamation.
Claire: I don’t like you right now.
& Jay: Mitchell had a lisp we let slide. Now we got a lifetime of «What if?»
Gloria: That is so offensive. A lisp doesn’t make you gay. Being gay makes you lisp.
& Jay: Art school, huh? Well, you can always sell oranges by the side of the road.
& Jay: I hear the stories you two tell about the neighborhoods you lived in, growing up on the passenger seat of a cab. Sure, I put in what we professionals call «sizzle,» but this is a part of who you are. And it’s a lot easier to root for than a kid who insists that 72% of his chocolate is cocoa.
Manny: It’s «cacao.»
Jay: I believe that that is his point.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
17 нояб. 2016 г.
Trip to Stabby Town
Lucifer 2×8
& Lucifer: And so there we were,the detective and I, standing in her kitchen, and... she made me... a sandwich.
& Lucifer: I believe this is the part where you tell me it’s much more than just a sandwich. For example... maybe it was a gesture of intimacy. You know, the slices of bread representing, perhaps...
& Lucifer: Doctor, please, what delicious message was she sending me?
Dr. Linda: ......... What about Hitler?
Lucifer: The sandwich is Hitler?
& Dr. Linda: How did you actually torture Hitler in Hell? I mean, is his cell next to Idi Amin’s? Or Mussolini’s? Or is there kind of a-a-a... a tyrant wing in Hell?
& Lucifer: I suppose it was futile of me to think that you wouldn’t want to discuss the whole... «I’m really the Devil» thing.
Dr. Linda: The actual Devil?
& Dr. Linda: What about my Uncle Edwin? Is he down there? I mean, ’cause he was... you know.... one... he was one bad mama jama.
& Lucifer: I think I’ve broken my therapist.
& Lucifer: She’s somewhere to the left of totally useless and to the right of babbling lunatic.
Chloe: Oh, so she’s you in a skirt.
& Chloe: Well, eyewitness testimonies can be unreliable.
Ella: Yeah, people’s ojos go a little loco. Evidence, however, does not lie.
& Lucifer: ...it takes any reason someone might want to hurt another and...
Amenadiel: Amplifies it a thousandfold.
Mazikeen: So if someone leaves the toilet seat up...
Lucifer: Trip to stabby town, yes.
Mazikeen: That’s one angry-ass knife.
& Lucifer: ...if you do this favor for me, then I’ll do a favor for you in return...
Ella: Lucifer, the whole point of a favor is to do it for free, okay? And then you just trust the love will come back to you somehow. Favors are about faith.
Lucifer: Ugh. Please don’t ruin favors for me.
& Lucifer: I insist. Tit for tat.
& Lucifer: Gosh, you’re a nasty little nerd, aren’t you?
& Lucifer: Look, you said to me that favors were about faith, right?
Ella: Yeah.
Lucifer: Well, I’m asking you to have faith in me. And know that I wouldn’t ask anything untoward of you.
& Lucifer: I’m just being thorough, Detective. Like you said, «Shake the bushes until the truth flies free.»
& Mum: Have you ever heard of something called the reverse cowgirl?..
& Lucifer: Humans are dying because of you.
Mum: Well, humans die. They all do eventually. It’s what they were designed to do.
& Dan: My pudding’s gone.
Chloe: I’m sorry?
Dan: .... I’m just saying that a man’s snacks... they’re sacred, okay?
& Chloe: Lucifer’s not another guy. He’s a weirdo.
& Dr. Linda: Okay, can we go back to the Angel of Death? Is he... uh, is he another one of your brothers?
Lucifer: Sister, actually.
Dr. Linda: The Angel of Death is a chick?!
& Lucifer: Go on, tell me. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
& Ella: Come clean with me. Or I can’t keep this a secret anymore.
Lucifer: You see, that’s just it. The last person I came clean with became a tad untethered.
Ella: Dude, I grew up in Detroit.
& Lucifer: I’m dealing with a matter of cosmic importance and I ask you to indulge me for just a little longer.
Ella: You mean have faith?
Lucifer: Tomato, tomahto.
& Lucifer: Anyone else feeling a murderous urge? No? The need to slice and dice? Anyone?
& Dan: My life went to hell when I met you!!
Lucifer: Hey! Well, technically, that’s not true, but I understand the basic metaphor.
& Lucifer: Always the truth. Point of pride for me, Detective.
& Lucifer: But you know, if you ever did want to cross boundaries into «partnered friends who hang out naked...»
& Dr. Linda: So, global crisis averted?
Lucifer: Yes. For now. So, we can... you know, talk about Caligula, Stalin... Trump. I mean, I know he’s not dead, but he’s definitely going.
& Dr. Linda: Lucifer, I owe you an apology. But in my defense... you’re the Devil.
& Dr. Linda: Things were much less complicated when I thought you were just another average delusional patient with a complicated family.
& Dr. Linda: Oh, my God. I had sex with the Devil.
Lucifer: Many, many times. And you’re welcome.
& Dr. Linda: Okay, now, see, that I understand. Narcissistic tendencies rooted in a complex paternal relationship and a disrupted adolescence.
Lucifer: See? Just another screwed up patient. And you can treat me as such.
Dr. Linda: All right. Let’s do this... The doctor is in.
& Mother: What’s that saying? «When my dear husband closes a door, he opens a window»?.. The window just opened.
--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Ill Tidings
Elementary 5×6
& Holmes: Apologies. I’ve, uh, taken to covering all the lenses in here.
Fiona: Why?
Holmes: Well, let’s just say the NSA doesn’t like me as much as you do.
Fiona: You think a government agency is spying on you?
Holmes: Probably not this week.
& Holmes: So, uh, it’s been a month. Are you ready to pass judgment on Philadelphia?
Fiona: The people here... enjoy eating cheesesteak and talking about cheesesteak very much. I don’t enjoy either activity as much as they do.
& Holmes: You want me to come to Philadelphia?
Fiona: I don’t. I want you to come to Cranbury Township, New Jersey. It’s exactly halfway between Philadelphia and New York.
& Dr. Hawes: Heck of a welcome-home gift. Our first week back, and I’m look at neuropathy, coagulopathy, myelosis, internal hemorrhaging, renal failure.
Watson: Textbook envenomation symptoms.
& Holmes: You seem a little disappointed...
Watson: No, I just thought, with the... secret key cards and the snake venom and the foreign affairs, we’d be dealing with spies or assassins. Not... you know, tech support.
& They seem so mundane. I mean, what would killing them even achieve?
Holmes: Airport shutdowns, power grid failures, financial meltdowns, nuclear war— take your pick.
Watson: What are you talking about?
Holmes: The IAO controls core security for the entire Internet.
& Holmes: You know, if you’d have told me you had a crush on Ms. Milner before we came here, I could’ve told you to wear a different color shirt; there’s ample literature on which colors women are most attracted to, and purple isn’t one of them.
& Watson: What you had with Moriarty... that’s never gonna happen again. It shouldn’t.
& Holmes: I think there’s a more efficient way to find the needle in this haystack... With your permission, Captain, I’d like to burn the haystack down.
& Watson: Listen, breakups are never easy, but they don’t have to be that bad. So just try and remember: «Give to a gracious message a host of tongues, but let ill tidings tell themselves when they be felt.»
& Watson: Venom, no doubt.
Holmes: This time delivered straight from the fangs of a deadly coastal taipan.
Watson: How can you tell?
Holmes: There’s one right behind your foot.
Watson: What do I do?
Holmes: I’m gonna look that up... I’d start with «don’t get bitten.»
& Holmes: I’m just enjoying its company. It’s quite beautiful, don’t you think?
Watson: And dangerous.
Holmes: In my experience, those two traits are often a package deal.
--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks.
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