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South Park 20×8

& President-elect: Well, do I look presidential?
    Caitlyn: Honestly, you look 20 years younger.

& Eric: Well, we’d like to go. We can’t tolerate this world anymore, and we’d like to talk to whoever we can about getting to Mars as soon as possible, please.
    Space-X Clerk: Uh-huh. Take a number and join the others.
    Eric: What others?....

& Space-X Clerk: A lot of people want to leave the planet right now.
    Eric: Aw, God damn it. Is that Cher?!

& P.C. Principal: God damn it! How the fuck did this happen?

& President-elect: Do you remember the day you fired me, PC Principal?
    P.C. Principal: I know we’ve had some differences, uh...
    President-elect: I was upset because a bunch of immigrants were changing my class, and I believe your response was that I needed to go and learn their language, be more open-minded...
    P.C. Principal: I’m sorry that you’re position here at the school was terminated.
    President-elect: Are you really? Are you really sorry?

& President-elect: Because you see, PC Principal, you helped create me. You insisted that I was a bigot, that I was an intolerant relic left over from another time. But now... I’m your president.
Ω W-O-W.

& Lennart Bedrager: When the servers go online, there will be panic, chaos, and war. And from the ashes, a new world will rise... A world where everyone is happy and a-singing and has a-no secrets... Like Denmark!

& Dildo Shwaggins: Didn’t you hear what that guy said? They’re gonna set countries against each other. We have way bigger problems.
    Gerald Broflovski: You don’t know my fucking wife!

---

& Eric: Oh, no, no, no, you’re a male chauvinist sexist pig, Butters. You don’t get to go to Mars.

& President-elect: So, I can do whatever the fuck I want in here now, right?
    General: Yes, sir. Here are all our military secrets and all classified information.
    President-elect: Okay, good.
    General: This is the drone program. In there, you can kill anyone on earth remotely. Here’s the keys.
    President-elect: Thanks.
    General: In here is satellite surveillance where you can monitor anyone’s conversation live.
    President-elect: Oh, that’ll come in handy.
    General: Extreme interrogation room in case you ever find interrogation necessary.
    President-elect: Oh, hell yeah, it’s necessary. Let’s do it.
    General: And here, of course, is the famous football, where you can order a nuclear attack in four minutes.
    President-elect: Love me some football.
    General: And finally, in here is the diplomatic strategy and negotiating room.
    President-elect: ..... Oh, geez, this doesn’t look very fun.

& Eric: Butters. You expect people to believe that you went from being the biggest asshole in the school to a soft-hearted feminist like me? Fat chance.

& Eric: I mean, when women make vagina jokes, I think it’s the funniest thing ever.
    Butters: Yeah, I swear I don’t care how many times Amy Schumer talks about her vagina, I laugh every time.

& General-1: ...when the Chinese are able to see all our e-mails and online activity, we believe they will most likely attack us.
    General-2: Also, there are ground troops mobilizing in Paris because the French believe when we see all their e-mails, we will most likely attack them.

& Elon Mask: ...Even food that changes form. You see this? It’s a pizza... Only four inches long, and yet when heated, it expands to make enough pizza to feed 100 people. I call it... the Pizza Pocket.

& Eric: Excuse me, Mr. Musk. This is all super interesting and shit, but can we see the Mars rocket now?

& Boris Johnson: ...whatever you do, don’t eat the mem’bries. Don’t eat the mem’bries! They’re bad!
    President-elect: Mem’bries?
    Boris Johnson: I’m afraid everyone here who ate the mem’bries wanted to go back in the past, you see? Hasn’t worked out too well for us.

& Big Mem’br: People want to ’member? They’re gonna ’member.

--
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