Funeral

Citizen Khan 5×3

& Mr. Khan: Assalaamu Alaikum, my boobtube followers.

& Mr. Khan: Sweetie, there aren’t enough truffles in the world to support that woman!

& Mr. Khan: I know this is a difficult time for everyone, but I’m just trying to get on with normal life. We Pakistanis are very good at making the best of a bad situation. Why do you think there are so many of us in Birmingham?

& Amjad: Maybe you should take over the funeral arrangements...
    Mr. Khan: Amjad, it’s very easy. Muslim funerals are all about speed. Pray-pray, cry-cry, dig-dig, bish-bosh!

& Mr. Khan: I don’t want you to worry about anything. You just stay here, relax and enjoy yourself. Not enjoy yourself. I mean, be sad... in a good way!

& Mr. Khan: He was stressed so I’ve just been relieving him of his tension!

& Riaz: Yes, we have to perform the burial ritual, do the prayers and the body has to be buried today with the head facing Mecca.
    Mr. Khan: What you telling us for? We know!

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& Mr. Khan: Mr Khan, K... H for hat, A for Asian, N for knowledge.

& Alia: You never know what to say. When I found out, I texted Mrs Malik, OMG, coffin picture, sad face. What did we do before we had emojis?

& Mrs Malik: I don’t need to worry about being alone in the house. I won’t be back there for months...
    Mr. Khan: What?!
    Mrs Malik: I’ve booked myself on a Caribbean cruise. It’s what he would have wanted.

& Mr. Khan: What are you saying? That men shouldn’t wear women’s clothes?
    Dave: Well, no, of course not. Obviously, I’m in favour of a non-binary definition of gender identity.
    Mr. Khan: I thought you might be.

& Mr. Khan: Right, come on, come on, Riaz can’t sit on that coffin forever.

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On the IMDb