Oh, Jeez

South Park 20×7

& TV Anchor: Looks like America has voted for a change of pace. The world is in a bit of a shock, uh... Is this... W-We’re sure this is for real, right?
    Randy Marsh: What have you done?! You maniacs!

& Giant Douche: The people have spoken. Just as J.J. Abrams did with «Star Wars,» I will make this country great again.
    Randy Marsh: This isn’t how it was supposed to happen.

& Giant Douche: ... All my efforts the past week have paid off. And now, let’s begin... fucking them all to death!

& Channel 9 Reporter: This barricade behind me was put up not only to make sure nobody goes into Fort Collins, but also to make sure nobody gets out, since there’s no telling who’s Internet histories they’ve seen.

& Heidi: Hey, are you okay? This election really got to you, too, huh?
    Eric: Yes, Heidi. For the first time, I’m really scared for the future.
    Heidi: Me, too, babe. Me, too.

& Turd Sandwich: Things have not worked out the way they were supposed to. This election was stolen, and while this government is still in power, we have to prove it.

& Turd Sandwich: Totally like James Bond.

---

& Randy Marsh: Do you have any idea what you’ve done to our country?!
    Garrison: Yeah... Fuck ’em all.

& Kyle: No, Dad. I need you back home. Please. I’m so confused right now.
    Gerald: Kyle, you got to lighten the fuck up, buddy. Every day with you, it’s «Dad, I’m feeling guilty about this,» «Dad, ?I’m so confused about that.» You’re a kid! You’re supposed to just laugh and make fun of shit. Stop being such a pussy, okay, pal? Fuck!
    Kyle: ???
    Ike: Daddy called you a pussy.

& Bill Clinton: Hi, kids. I’m Bill Clinton, and I was almost the first gentleman in America.

& Bill Clinton: Even though we might have lost the election, it doesn’t mean that my work to be a gentleman is going to stop. I’m gonna ask all you boys to agree to join Bill Clinton’s Gentlemen’s Club.

& Eric: I’ve seen what’s gonna happen when Troll Trace goes online. I think a lot of people have said and done things online that will make a lot of other people angry, and it’s going to be very bad. Humankind is going to destroy itself, and it’s only hope are the people who go to Mars, where there’s no Wi-Fi, so nobody can see what anybody said or did on the Internet ever.

& Lennart Bedrager: Won’t you join me upstairs for frikadellers and leverpostarj?

& Bill Clinton: Hello. I’m Bill Clinton, and I was almost the first gentleman in America.
    Stephen: Oh, my gosh! Honey, it’s the nearly gentleman!
    Bill Clinton: May I come into your lovely home?
    Stephen: Well, of course. That’s very gentlemanly of you.

& Bill Clinton: What do you think you’re going to achieve, young man? You really think all this pickle-pressing is gonna get you anywhere?
    Butters: Well, I’m just angry, Mr. Gentleman.

& Randy Marsh: Oh, come on, Shelley. We’ve learned that women can be anything... except for president.

& Bill Clinton: I know. I know how hard they can be. But something’s about to happen that you aren’t aware of.
    You see, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And trust me, my wife is a crazy bitch. She and all the other women in the world are about to get payback, and we are all completely fucked.

& Bill Clinton: It’s my fault, really. I’ve done things my whole life that gradually broke her spirit. And now that she’s lost everything, let me assure you, she is piiiiiiissed.

& Bill Clinton: Now our only chance is to keep our heads low and act like we’re changed men. Because we’re very close to the end.
    Butters: The end? Of what?
    Bill Clinton: Women are sick of our shit, son. And soon, they’re gonna know everything we’ve said and done online. And unless we start kissing their asses, we’re all gonna be put in a big chamber underground and milked for our semen.

& Eric: We’re gonna make it. There’s no turning back.
    Heidi: Do you really think there’s hope?
    Eric: Yes. I do.

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On the IMDb

+ Soundtrack.

Σ Where one could see «The Very First Gentleman» version of the episode?