My Little Monkey

Lucifer 2×7

& Chloe: Something happened with your shrink?
    Lucifer: Yes... and it’s all your fault. I mean, you’re the one who suggested I open up to her. Well, smashing advice, Detective!

& Lucifer: What if I told you I wasn’t Lucifer anymore?.. I’ve decided to try and walk a mile in another man’s shoes. See the world from a different perspective... I’m going to learn how to Douche. I... may have to rephrase that one.

& Daniel: What’s this really about?
    Lucifer: Look, people like you. They find you helpful, like duct tape or a trusty socket wrench. I want you to teach me your secret. I want you to show me how to be a tool.

& Trixie: Do you like little kids?
    Mazikeen: I’ve dealt with filthy, screaming humans before. At least these are smaller.

& Chloe: Well, the secret ingredient is the Hawaiian bread. And then you just cut a hole in the middle for the egg.
    Trixie: Can we have this for every meal?

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& Linda: Can you teleport?

& Lucifer: Never fear, Luci-Dan is here. Or is it Douche-ifer? Actually, it’s got more of a ring to it, hasn’t it?

& Chloe: Wow. What’s the job this time?
    Mazikeen: Topless Maids. But apparently, I still have to do some cleaning. Screw that.

& Lucifer: Oh, no, no. Not this. Better a snuff movie, a human centipede, clown porn, but not improv!

& Lucifer: Do you mind if I play the me’s advocate for just a second?

& Mazikeen: I got paid. As a bounty hunter! ... Hunting humans is a job. Who knew?!

& Linda: You’re a... you’re a demon. Lucifer’s the Devil. How am I supposed to get over that?

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