The Big Bang Theory 10×1
& Sheldon: Leonard?.. Leonard?..
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You realize you and I could become brothers.
& Sheldon: I hope you’re right. ’Cause a grown man living with his brother and his brother’s wife is weird.
& Bernadette: ...Because you were driving like a lunatic!
Howard: Hey, if thinking secret government agents are chasing you makes you a lunatic, then... yeah, okay.
& Raj: That’s not him.
& Susan: Do they know about your brother?
Penny: Uh, not everything, just, like, the jail and drugs part.
& Bernadette: If you want to go off the grid, you have to move out of your mother’s house.
& Howard: ...No... I don’t know his immigration status. .... Relax, I’m still on hold!!
& Leonard: Please don’t make things any more awkward than they already are.
Sheldon: All right, so less or equally awkward, got it.
& Sheldon: So, did you defile my mother or not?
& Mary: I genuinely like your father.
Sheldon: What? But he’s a mediocre academic. And according to Beverly, his sexual prowess is subpar. He’s basically Leonard with a bigger prostate.
Leonard: Are you saying that my dad’s not good enough for your mom?
Sheldon: Yes, while also getting in a solid dig at you. Pretty efficient, huh?
& Raj: There he is! There’s my happy Hebraic homeboy. Yeah, that’s the smile I’m gonna remember when you’re living in the desert and I’m living with your wife.
& Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary: They’re practicing for what’s coming later.
& Wyatt: Welcome to the family, Leonard. Don’t lend your new brother-in-law money.
& Leonard: Thank you for marrying me. Hopefully for the last time.
& Leonard: As a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don’t think I’ll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know... maybe... I don’t need to understand it, I just need to be grateful.
& Bernadette: Okay. I now pronounce you husband and wife... And weird other husband who came with the apartment.
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+ quotes on the IMDb
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