Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Two and a Half Men 8×1

& Charlie: For what possible activity would I need my pants off and my shoes on?
    Alan: I don’t know. Chasing a reluctant hooker?
    Charlie: Can’t rule it out.

& Alan: I was with Lyndsey.
    Charlie: Who’s Lyndsey?
    Alan: Eldridge’s mom.
    Charlie: Who’s Eldridge?
    Alan: Jake’s friend. Jake is my son.
    Charlie: I know who Jake is. What I don’t know is where my pants are.

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& Alan: What? What is there to think through? The possibility of my son hosting an orgy?
    Charlie: Now, not to be a stickler... but technically, an orgy requires a minimum of six participants.
    Alan: What?!
    Charlie: It goes masturbation, one on one... threesome, two couples swinging, two couples with a looky-loo, orgy, six.
    Alan: It frightens me that you know that.
    Charlie: Everybody knows that.

& Alan: So when I asked you, why did you lie?
    Jake: It’s usually the simpler path.

& Charlie: Want a beer?
    Alan: You just said you were quitting.
    Charlie: I did and I am. My drinking days are over. See? Beer.

& Judith: I think that’s enough beer, sweetheart. I’ll get Jake...
    Charlie: There you go, pal.
    Herb: Thanks, but you heard her. I’ve had enough.

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