Gumby with a Pokey

Two and a Half Men 7×21

& Alan: Oh, hey, you wanna drive up and get it with me?
    Charlie: Let’s see, do I wanna drive six hours to Sacramento... to pick up a dead guy’s clock?
    Alan: With me.
    Charlie: Don’t take this the wrong way... but I would rather get a maple-syrup enema... and then sit on an anthill.

& Charlie: I’ve actually compiled a list of things I’d rather do... than spend long periods of time with you in an enclosed space. You wanna hear some more?
    Alan: No.
    Charlie: You sure? I got a beauty that involves hemorrhoids, a bottle-brush and sea salt...

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& Alan: My life isn’t over, you know.
    Jake: Okay.
    Alan: What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
    Jake: Well, then you must be, like, the Hulk.

& Charlie: What do you think?
    Berta: I’ve rolled better joints on the back of a motorcycle... while digging a bullet out of my boyfriend’s shoulder.

& Jake: So when you sell it, what are you gonna do with the cash?
    Alan: Uh, I’m not sure. I might buy a new car. I might pay your Uncle Charlie some of what I owe him. Uh, I might put it in your college fund...
    Jake: So, what kind of car are you gonna get?

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