The Itchy Brain Simulation

The Big Bang Theory 7×8

& Leonard: Okay, Sheldon, I know I was supposed to return this DVD a long time ago, and I know we rented it on your card. But it’s been, like, seven years and clearly nothing bad has happened. So in-in-in-instead of being a giant pain in the ass like you always are, what if this one time you just tried staying calm?
    Sheldon: ..... That seems like a reasonable request.

& Leonard: How about that? Sheldon’s being reasonable.
    Penny: Yeah, it’s freaking me out. I’m gonna go.

& Sheldon: Talking to you while you’re on the toilet isn’t exactly a picnic for me either, okay? Remember... when you can hear me, I can hear you.

& Sheldon: You completely disregard how uncomfortable unresolved issues are for me. It’s-it’s like, a... an itch in my brain I can’t scratch.

& Penny: I don’t know why but I always pictured her as Indian.
    Bernadette: I think that reason’s called racism.
    Penny: I’m gonna go talk to her.
    Bernadette: Why? What are you gonna say?
    Penny: I’m not gonna say anything. I just want to check her out. Because she hurt my friend. My Indian friend. Who’s racist now?
    Bernadette: You! Because you just called him your “Indian friend.”
    Penny: .... Yeah, well, you’re short.

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& Penny: You know, I may be a bad waitress, but you are a bad person. Now, you want to hear the specials?

& Penny: So, you can never take it off?

& Howard: Hey, what’re you working on?
    Sheldon: I’m thinking about how one could use the fact that a rapidly rotating mirror turns virtual photons into real ones as a method of observing dark energy.
    Howard: That’s a pretty cool idea.
    Sheldon: Yeah. It’s great you’re here. I’d love to get an engineer’s opinion.
    Howard: Sure.
    Sheldon: This chair is squeaky...

& Penny: Come on, take it off. I won’t tell.
    Leonard: No, no, honey, if I take it off, Sheldon wins.
    Penny: Sweetie... every night you don’t kill him in his sleep, he wins.

& Raj: I hope we can hang out again sometime. You know, as friends, lovemaking partners, whatever.
    Lucy: Oh, uh... I’m kind of seeing someone.
    Raj: I think I know the answer to this, but just to be clear, it’s not me, right?

& Amy: Sheldon... that was diabolical.
    Sheldon: I know... And it wasn’t easy. Do you have any idea what it’s like to wait for years and never know if you’re going to finally get satisfaction?

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On the IMDb