& Rudy: Some people say tears are the best form of lubricant.
& Finn: I was just going to clean the biscuit off. I kind of splattered ya... I don’t usually spit tea and biscuits in a girl’s face. Unless she’s asking for it.
& Rudy: I refute that. Or at least, I think I do. What does “refute” mean?
Rudy-2: It means you don’t accept something.
Rudy: Yeah, well, I refute that.
& Abby: Do you think I should go over and put a good word in for him?
Alex: What are you going to say?
Abby: I could tell her about his strangely weighty balls. They’re like... hairy apples.
& Alex: What’s the problem?
Chloe: I turn things inside out.
Abby: That doesn’t seem that bad. It’s good for doing the laundry. And transgender surgery.
Chloe: I turned my cat inside out.
Alex: OK... Why don’t we go somewhere a bit quieter?
& Abby: Do you... like apples?
Debbie: Er... yeah.
Abby: You are gonna love his balls.
& Jess: Something on your mind?
Rudy: You’re on my mind. You are. You’ve cast a spell. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I can’t shit, without that popping into me head!
& Rudy: Grr, you’re a witch. You’re a beautiful friggin’ witch.
& Finn: Oh, I see. You like to play games. Well, you’d better watch yourself. Because if you wanna play, then you’re playing... with a player.
& Rudy: Of course we can be honest! That’s my middle name — Rudy Honest Geoffrey Wade.
& Finn: Women.
Rudy: Where?!
Finn: I’m saying. One minute, you’re... spitting tea and biscuits in their face and they’re being all coy and shy and the next minute, they’re acting like they don’t even know you. I’m done with this bullshit.
& Finn: Is she taking a shit?
Rudy: She’s taking the Mother Teresa of all shits, dude.
& Jess: What the fuck are you doing? That’s my phone!
Rudy: Yeah, I know, I’ve only gone and bloody liberated you, freed you from the tyrannies of friggin’ texting. You’re free now.
& Rudy: The shit’s hit the fan, Finlay. By fan, I mean fuckin’ World Wide Web.
& Leah: We’re in a virtual world. I had us converted into electronic signals. We’re just a long stream of ones and zeros.
Finn: Here’s a question... Why the fuck would you do that?!
& Jess: Why is there a video of me shitting on the internet?!!
& Leah: I brought you some pizza.
Finn: You think you can just win me over with a few slices of pizza? Pathetic!
Leah: I’ll come back later.
Finn: Whoa, wait... What kind of pizza is it?
& Rudy: Do you know, honestly, you are like a bull with an ’ard-on in a china shop, it’s ridiculous.
& Rudy-2: Is this about Jess?
Rudy: I just... I don’t know what to do... You try and do the good thing, the right thing, the noble thing, and what d’you have to show for it? A friggin’ broken ’eart and a ruptured testicle.
& Rudy: Don’t ever let your testicles get viciously beaten with a wooden broom handle.
Debbie: I’ll keep that in mind.
& Debbie: Who’s Finlay?
Rudy: For God’s sake, Finlay is the small, well-intentioned monkey-ish little fellow.
& Leah: Everything’s easier online. You chat to who you want to chat to, you decide you don’t like them, one click and they’re gone. You never have to see ’em again. They take the piss. Click. They act like a dick. Click. You embarrass yourself... Click. See, it’s not like being out there, you’re in control.
& Finn: Real life... Yeah, it’s shit sometimes. But you need the shit to appreciate the good things.
& Rudy: I’m all out of brilliant ideas.
& Abby: Well... nailed to the floor. That’s a first.
Rudy: Speak for yourself. School play, Crucifixion re-enactment gone badly awry.
& Helen: I’m... on my way to a job, so...
Rudy: “I’m on my way to a job.” That’s what the Good Samaritan said to Jesus when he found him nailed to the Cross, but do you know what? He friggin’ un-nailed him and then he said, “Do you want to kip in me stable with that donkey from... Bethlehem?” And Jesus said... Do you know what he said? He went, “Oh, cheers, mate. See that water over there? I’m gonna turn that into wine... And fish.”
& Alex: What happened?
Rudy: She has been inserting herself into you, dude, and not in a fucking “I’m not gay, I just want to know how it feels” kind of way, neither.
& Rudy: Can I just say in my defence...
& Rudy: The business with the defecation, perhaps that was an error of... No, it was, it was an error of judgment on my part, but my motives, they were true and bloody noble.
& Rudy: Watching you defecate your guts out, it didn’t put me off you at all. At all! There is no greater test of a man’s feelings. I have seen you turn shit-ugly. But... But to me, it was shit beautiful. You are... You’re a beautiful shitter.
--
On the IMDb
& Finn: I was just going to clean the biscuit off. I kind of splattered ya... I don’t usually spit tea and biscuits in a girl’s face. Unless she’s asking for it.
& Rudy: I refute that. Or at least, I think I do. What does “refute” mean?
Rudy-2: It means you don’t accept something.
Rudy: Yeah, well, I refute that.
& Abby: Do you think I should go over and put a good word in for him?
Alex: What are you going to say?
Abby: I could tell her about his strangely weighty balls. They’re like... hairy apples.
& Alex: What’s the problem?
Chloe: I turn things inside out.
Abby: That doesn’t seem that bad. It’s good for doing the laundry. And transgender surgery.
Chloe: I turned my cat inside out.
Alex: OK... Why don’t we go somewhere a bit quieter?
& Abby: Do you... like apples?
Debbie: Er... yeah.
Abby: You are gonna love his balls.
& Jess: Something on your mind?
Rudy: You’re on my mind. You are. You’ve cast a spell. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I can’t shit, without that popping into me head!
& Rudy: Grr, you’re a witch. You’re a beautiful friggin’ witch.
& Finn: Oh, I see. You like to play games. Well, you’d better watch yourself. Because if you wanna play, then you’re playing... with a player.
& Rudy: Of course we can be honest! That’s my middle name — Rudy Honest Geoffrey Wade.
& Finn: Women.
Rudy: Where?!
Finn: I’m saying. One minute, you’re... spitting tea and biscuits in their face and they’re being all coy and shy and the next minute, they’re acting like they don’t even know you. I’m done with this bullshit.
& Finn: Is she taking a shit?
Rudy: She’s taking the Mother Teresa of all shits, dude.
& Jess: What the fuck are you doing? That’s my phone!
Rudy: Yeah, I know, I’ve only gone and bloody liberated you, freed you from the tyrannies of friggin’ texting. You’re free now.
& Rudy: The shit’s hit the fan, Finlay. By fan, I mean fuckin’ World Wide Web.
& Leah: We’re in a virtual world. I had us converted into electronic signals. We’re just a long stream of ones and zeros.
Finn: Here’s a question... Why the fuck would you do that?!
& Jess: Why is there a video of me shitting on the internet?!!
& Leah: I brought you some pizza.
Finn: You think you can just win me over with a few slices of pizza? Pathetic!
Leah: I’ll come back later.
Finn: Whoa, wait... What kind of pizza is it?
& Rudy: Do you know, honestly, you are like a bull with an ’ard-on in a china shop, it’s ridiculous.
& Rudy-2: Is this about Jess?
Rudy: I just... I don’t know what to do... You try and do the good thing, the right thing, the noble thing, and what d’you have to show for it? A friggin’ broken ’eart and a ruptured testicle.
& Rudy: Don’t ever let your testicles get viciously beaten with a wooden broom handle.
Debbie: I’ll keep that in mind.
& Debbie: Who’s Finlay?
Rudy: For God’s sake, Finlay is the small, well-intentioned monkey-ish little fellow.
& Leah: Everything’s easier online. You chat to who you want to chat to, you decide you don’t like them, one click and they’re gone. You never have to see ’em again. They take the piss. Click. They act like a dick. Click. You embarrass yourself... Click. See, it’s not like being out there, you’re in control.
& Finn: Real life... Yeah, it’s shit sometimes. But you need the shit to appreciate the good things.
& Rudy: I’m all out of brilliant ideas.
& Abby: Well... nailed to the floor. That’s a first.
Rudy: Speak for yourself. School play, Crucifixion re-enactment gone badly awry.
& Helen: I’m... on my way to a job, so...
Rudy: “I’m on my way to a job.” That’s what the Good Samaritan said to Jesus when he found him nailed to the Cross, but do you know what? He friggin’ un-nailed him and then he said, “Do you want to kip in me stable with that donkey from... Bethlehem?” And Jesus said... Do you know what he said? He went, “Oh, cheers, mate. See that water over there? I’m gonna turn that into wine... And fish.”
& Alex: What happened?
Rudy: She has been inserting herself into you, dude, and not in a fucking “I’m not gay, I just want to know how it feels” kind of way, neither.
& Rudy: Can I just say in my defence...
& Rudy: The business with the defecation, perhaps that was an error of... No, it was, it was an error of judgment on my part, but my motives, they were true and bloody noble.
& Rudy: Watching you defecate your guts out, it didn’t put me off you at all. At all! There is no greater test of a man’s feelings. I have seen you turn shit-ugly. But... But to me, it was shit beautiful. You are... You’re a beautiful shitter.
--
On the IMDb
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