& Alex: So, what did she look like?
Rudy: Right, well, try to imagine, if an orang-utan and a bulldog, they spawned a child, yeah? Now try and imagine, that bloody child grows up and impregnates a pig. Eurgh. This pig-dog-monkey hybrid thing would be a thing of beauty in comparison.
& Jess: If she was so hideously ugly, why did you have sex with her?
Rudy: Really? Do you know, this... this is just... this is the problem, isn’t it, when you’re having sex with ugly birds? You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.
& Rudy: I think I’m going to cry.
& Abby: I’m going to think about this while I change my tampon.
& Rudy: I can’t do this. I can’t do it on my own. I’m not... I’m not mature enough. You know what? I might have a big lush pubic bush, but that does not maketh me a man.
& Mum: Well, there was all that trouble with the Boy Scouts.
Rudy: Fucking hell! That was an experimental stage, weren’t it? No-one judged Isaac Newton when he were friggin’ wanking on apples, did they?
Mum: Yeah, well, apples aren’t the same as 12-year-old boys.
Rudy: Yeah, maybe not to you, Mum. And maybe that’s why you never discovered the fucking... the laws of gravity.
& Dad: So, if, er... you’re not gay, what did you want to talk to us about, son?
& Abby: I keep asking girls in the bar if it’s theirs, and none of them are her.
Alex: She’s like Cinderella...
Abby: This Cinderella, did you shag her?
Alex: What? No! Cinderella, like in the fairy tale... Pumpkin... Fairy godmother... She had a glass slipper.
& Finn: See, I wish Jess was here, cos girls can intervene in this kind of thing without getting their heads kicked in.
& Alex: Where’s the kid?
Finn: See, this is why you shouldn’t help people out. Not so much as a... a “Thanks, here’s a 20, have a few drinks on me.” Just... ungrateful little shit. Stepping up like that, though, that... that was kind of superhero.
& Abby: Can I get you a drink?
Laura: Oh... It’s OK.
Abby: I’m not going to drug you and take you to my basement and rape you with a massive strap-on... I live in a flat, and it doesn’t have a basement.
& Mum: Rudy? Don’t be so rude!
--
On the IMDb
Rudy: Right, well, try to imagine, if an orang-utan and a bulldog, they spawned a child, yeah? Now try and imagine, that bloody child grows up and impregnates a pig. Eurgh. This pig-dog-monkey hybrid thing would be a thing of beauty in comparison.
& Jess: If she was so hideously ugly, why did you have sex with her?
Rudy: Really? Do you know, this... this is just... this is the problem, isn’t it, when you’re having sex with ugly birds? You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.
& Rudy: I think I’m going to cry.
& Abby: I’m going to think about this while I change my tampon.
& Rudy: I can’t do this. I can’t do it on my own. I’m not... I’m not mature enough. You know what? I might have a big lush pubic bush, but that does not maketh me a man.
& Mum: Well, there was all that trouble with the Boy Scouts.
Rudy: Fucking hell! That was an experimental stage, weren’t it? No-one judged Isaac Newton when he were friggin’ wanking on apples, did they?
Mum: Yeah, well, apples aren’t the same as 12-year-old boys.
Rudy: Yeah, maybe not to you, Mum. And maybe that’s why you never discovered the fucking... the laws of gravity.
& Dad: So, if, er... you’re not gay, what did you want to talk to us about, son?
& Abby: I keep asking girls in the bar if it’s theirs, and none of them are her.
Alex: She’s like Cinderella...
Abby: This Cinderella, did you shag her?
Alex: What? No! Cinderella, like in the fairy tale... Pumpkin... Fairy godmother... She had a glass slipper.
& Finn: See, I wish Jess was here, cos girls can intervene in this kind of thing without getting their heads kicked in.
& Alex: Where’s the kid?
Finn: See, this is why you shouldn’t help people out. Not so much as a... a “Thanks, here’s a 20, have a few drinks on me.” Just... ungrateful little shit. Stepping up like that, though, that... that was kind of superhero.
& Abby: Can I get you a drink?
Laura: Oh... It’s OK.
Abby: I’m not going to drug you and take you to my basement and rape you with a massive strap-on... I live in a flat, and it doesn’t have a basement.
& Mum: Rudy? Don’t be so rude!
--
On the IMDb
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