An Unnatural Arrangement

Elementary 2×6

& Sherlock: I present to you the human condition in all its sordid glory.
    Watson: It’s a bunch of guys in a cell. We have a finite number of Friday nights in our lives. Why are we spending one of them here?
    Sherlock: Because it’s Friday night. This is when the holding cells are at their busiest.

& Watson: Sherlock and I would be happy to take a look.
    Basken: I said hi to that guy once, and, uh, h-he said that I interrupted his train of thought. He, uh, called me a bell-end...

& Watson: Did you know that Captain Gregson turned down a promotion that would have made him the youngest detective in the NYPD?..
    Sherlock: He is also, judging by his e-mails, surprisingly tolerant of forwarded videos of mischievous kittens.

& Sherlock: Quite frankly, I’m surprised it’s taken this long for the captain’s marriage to buckle. He’s an excellent detective.
    Watson: What does that have to do with it?
    Sherlock: Well, as you know, detection is a calling, not a job. Hardly leaves one with time left over to sustain the elaborate ruse of marriage.
    Watson: Because, of course, you think marriage is an elaborate ruse.
    Sherlock: There are other ways to describe it. An unnatural arrangement which forces its participants into an unhealthy monogamy. An accretion of petty fights and resentful compromises which, like Chinese water torture, slowly transforms both parties into howling, neurotic versions of their former selves.

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& Bell: I know, not what we hoped for, but I got a detail together, and Holmes and Watson are off running down some Holmes-and-Watson thing, so...

& Sherlock: Oh, yes. That Basken. I refer to most of the detectives here as “not Bell.”

& Watson: I didn’t ask you to look into it!
    Sherlock: Nor did you ask me not to.
    Watson: No, I...
    Sherlock: We live together, we work together, Watson. When it comes to cases, there is no “his” or “hers”; there is partnership. I assist you, you assist me. What matters is the result. Or do you disagree?

& Gregson: It’s... it’s probably too late. She and I... talked. I don’t think it’s gonna work out.
    Sherlock: .... If you should need someone to talk to, then, please know I’ll, uh... I’ll make Watson available to you.

& Sherlock: How did we think to look for him, you ask? Well, you have your femi-Nazi hound to thank for that.

& Sherlock: You should know, Captain, I usually cheer the end of any marriage. As an institution, I think it’s outlasted its usefulness by quite a large... margin.
    Gregson: Huh.
    Sherlock: And yet I’ve come to appreciate the premise of partnership. It’s far more intricate than I had previously imagined. The very smallest gesture can speak volumes.
    Gregson: You’re telling me not to give up?
    Sherlock: I’m telling you, you should never have entered into the charade that is wedded matrimony... You had a partner. Perhaps you still do...

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