Santa’s Village of the Damned
Sandy: Just fine. How about you?
Charlie: Great. Like a drunk baby.
Sandy: Are you hungry?
Charlie: Not yet. Maybe after I throw up.
& Alan: There’s my little Sandy beach!
Sandy: Good morning, Alley-Oop!
& Alan: You see, Sandy, it’s kind of a family tradition. Our mother invites us even though she doesn’t want us to come. We say yes even though we don’t wanna go. When we don’t show, though she’s relieved... She gets to complain about what horrible children she has.
Charlie: It’s the perfect gift.
& Alan: Beauty, sex, cooking, laundry.
Charlie: Marriage, boredom, alimony, death.
Alan: You are such a cynic.
Charlie: And you are such a sap*.
& Alan: Well, I’m really happy we get to spend Christmas together.
Jake: We don’t have to go to your mom’s, do we?
Alan: Don’t be silly. Hey, you hungry?
Jake: I could eat.
Alan: Well, you’re gonna.
Jake: Can we order Chinese like we did last year?
Alan: No, this year we’re gonna do something a little more traditional.
Jake: Deli?
Alan: No, we’re gonna have a real, home-cooked Christmas dinner.
Jake: Whose home?
Alan: Our home.
Jake: How?
& Sandy: Anybody have room for another éclair?
Alan: Not unless I unbutton my pants.
Charlie: Mine are already unbuttoned.
Jake: I took mine off when she brought out the marshmallow yams.
Sandy: Okay, then. What do you say we all go into the living room... and sing some Christmas carols?
Alan: You mean stand up?
Charlie: I don’t think I can.
Jake: I’m not wearing pants.
& Alan: Where are we going?
Sandy: I want you to teach this naughty girl a lesson. She needs to be punished.
Charlie: You lucky dog.
Alan: What? I’m not going in there. She’s nuts.
Charlie: Yeah, so? Sex with crazy chicks is great. Make sure you pick positions where you can see what her hands are doing.
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sap — дурак; олух
+ quotes on the Imdb.
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