The Guard

& Sergeant Gerry Boyle (by Brendan Gleeson): What a beautiful fuckin’ day.

& Garda Aidan McBride: I don’t think it was appropriate.
    Boyle: Fuck off to America with your “appropriate” fuckin’ Barack Obama.

& Boyle: Never got into the Russians. They take too long getting to the feckin’ point.
    Boyle’s Mum: Not even Dostoyevsky, no?
    Boyle: Come on, he was the main offender.
    Mum: Gogol was good. He went doolally in the end, though. God love him.

& Aidan: Little early for a drink... You’re still on duty... You’ve been gone all afternoon...
    Boyle: Are you going to continue to make declarative statements or are you going to fuckin’ tell me something?

& Boyle: I’m Irish, sure. Racism is part of my culture.

& FBI agent Wendell Everett (by Don Cheadle): I can’t tell if you’re really motherfucking dumb or really motherfucking smart.

& Boyle: You’re from the agency?
    Gabriela McBride: No. My husband is missing.
    Boyle: Oh, God, I’m sorry. Come in, come in. ... I’ll just slip into something a little less comfortable. ... Nice mug of tea.

& Everett: We’re investigating a murder, trafficking of half a million dollars’...
    Boyle: Billion.
    Everett: ...half a billion dollars’ worth of cocaine, and you’re telling me it’s your day off?
    Boyle: I’m sure 24 hours won’t make any difference.
    Everett: 24 hours won’t make any difference?!
    Boyle: They say it does on these cop shows, but it doesn’t. Not in my experience. Ah, why do you keep repeating everything I say?

& Gabriela: He’s gay. Like when one man put’s his...
    Boyle: I’m familiar with the mechanics of it, yea.

& Everett: Most don’t even speak English.
    Boyle: They speak English well enough. This is a Gaelic-speaking region. Did they not teach you that at Langley?
    Everett: No, they did not teach me that at the Langley. For the simple fact that Langley’s the CIA, you idiot, not the FBI.
    Boyle: You didn’t know people in the west of Ireland speak Gaelic and I’m the idiot?

& Boyle: Listen, something’s come up, and I’m not just talking about my cock.

---

& Everett: But, er, where do we start?
    Boyle: I say we start with these two lads and we take it from there. Slаnte... That’s Gaelic.

& Everett: You certainly are an unconventional police officer, Sergeant Boyle.
Boyle: Thank you.
Everett: That was not meant as a compliment.

& Garda Inspector Gerry Stanton: Like a donkey fucking a hippopotamus, it’s party time.
Cornell (by Mark Strong): ... What?
Young Garda: Like a donkey fucking a hippopotamus, it’s party time.
Cornell: ... What the fuck are you on about?
Stanton: Sheehy said...
Cornell: He was taking the piss, for fuck’s sake.

& Young Garda: Somebody got out of bed the wrong side this morning... Fuckin’ Brits.

& Cornell: It’s all so fucking meaningless.
    Francis Sheehy: The money?
    Cornell: The money, yeah. How much money do you need to be happy?
    Sheehy: The whores?
    Cornell: The whores, yeah. I’m at that stage where I’m looking for a more meaningful relationship.
    Liam O’Leary: I’m with you there... Monogamous.

& Cornell: I like sharks. They’re soothing*.

& Aoife: Are you all right?
    Boyle: That milkshake’s after giving me a fuckin’ milkshake headache.

& Boyle: What’s a Derringer?
    Colum: It’s like a baby gun. One of the gay lads used to like secreting it on his person, you know.
    Boyle: There were gay lads in the IRA?
    Colum: There are one or two, like. It was the only way we could successfully infiltrate the Ml5.

& Sheehy: Nothing. Tomorrow night, so. We’re good to go.
    Cornell: I fuckin’ hate that.
    Sheehy: What?
    Cornell: Americanisms... “Good to go”.

& Liam: Why’s it always me, though?
    Cornell: Cos you’re a psychopath.
    Liam: I’m a sociopath, not a psychopath. They explained that to me in Mountjoy.
    Sheehy: What’s the difference?
    Liam: Dunno. It’s a tricky one.

& Liam: You should get a dog. Or a parrot, maybe. Something to raise the alarm, you know.
    Boyle: I’ve always wanted a giraffe.

& Boyle: Are the lights growing dim?
    Liam: Don’t mock me.
    Boyle: It’s good enough for ye.
    Liam: There were so many... There were so many things... I wanted to do.
    Boyle: Like what, for fuck’s sake? Running with the bulls at Pamplona?

& Boyle: That’s for you.
    Everett: What? Come on, you can’t shoot a Kalashnikov in the middle of Ireland. Be an international fucking incident.

& Boyle: That’s the trouble with the Irish, Wendell. They never forget.

& Everett: Anybody you want me to call if you...
    Boyle: Nah. I don’t have anybody. Just pin a medal to me body, like those lads coming home from Iraq.
    Everett: Fuck you again, Sergeant.
    Boyle: Thanks for coming back to help, Wendell. I appreciate it.

& Sheehy: Let’s get the fuck out of here, Clive!
    Cornell: Are you kidding me? This is better than fuckin’ Christmas!

& Mick: That’s a good one now. Moody. You can use it for the cover of your book.
    Everett: What book?
    Mick: You yokes are always writing books about your fuckin’ experiences. Probably sell it to the movies, then. A fish-out-of-water story, huh?.. Lots of action, bit of humour... Throw in some young ones getting their kit off and you’re well away. Need a happy ending to sell it.
    Everett: Happy ending?
    Mick: Didn’t you foil a multimillion-dollar drug-trafficking operation and knock off a trio of drug barons to boot? What’s unhappy about that?
    Everett: Lost a good man.
    Mick: I wouldn’t be sure about that, now. They never recovered a body, no, did they?

--
soothing — успокаивающий

+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ Very good 1.
! Sweet couple: Brendan Gleeson & Don Cheadle (aka Marty Kaan from a House of Lies). Plus Mark Strong which is... strong as usual.