Rome 1x3

An Owl in a Thornbush

Season 1, Episode 3

& Pompey: I wonder what he’s thinking. I remember back when I destroyed the Illyrian pirates... There was one particular old sea snake... A Liburnian, if I recall....
    Cato: Never mind the Illyrian pirates. What is to be done?
    Pompey: I have already given word... My legions are gathering.
    Cato: And you’ll crush him, yeah?
    Pompey: Without question. The poor man is dead.

& Caesar: What makes your man Vorenus so morose*?
    Mark Antony: He is stonewall catonian. He thinks we’ve committed a terrible crime, a mighty sacrilege, and shall be severely punished by the gods.
    Caesar: He may be right.
    Mark Antony: It’s a crime if we lose. If we win, it isn’t.

& Caesar: Do you think we can trust him?
    Mark Antony: Who?
    Caesar: Lucius Vorenus.
    Mark Antony: Deep 13th, him. He’d follow the eagle up Pluto’s ass.

& Lucius: You... You often say that you are adept with the women.
    Pullo: No idle boast* neither. There are girls from Narbo to Thebes that scream my name by night.

& Pullo: Well, what care you what she feels for you if we’re all going to die this week or next?
    Lucius: And so we are, but who will honor my name when I am gone? Who will pay Proserpina and Pluto for my keep? Who will pour wine upon my grave?
    Pullo: If it comes to that, I shall do the honors.

& Cato: It is all highly irregular, unethical even. Gods, it is not even the war season.

& Cicero: What do we do now then?
    Pompey: We must make a tactical retreat to the South.
    Cicero: A tactical retreat, mind you. Leave the city?!
    Cato: Juno’s cunt! Do you run mad?
    Pompey: You cannot speak to me in that tone.

---

& Pompey: We shall withdraw to Corfinium and rally my legions there. Once they are gathered and in good order, we will simply retake the city. Caesar has no hope of reinforcement until spring. The towns of Italy will close their gates to him. We will have an unassailable advantage in men and resources.
    Cato: So in fact, this is not a humiliating defeat at all but a rare species of victory?
    Pompey: Calm yourself, Cato. You lack understanding of things military, else you would see that my actions have been perfectly correct at all times.
    Cato: You have lost Rome without unsheathing your sword. You lost Rome!

& Brutus: It’s very tempting to abandon Caesar, but to do so now, well, that would look like we’re mere... slaves to fashion.

& Pullo: Of course, your best method for pleasing a woman is the warm, beating heart of an enemy. Women will say they don’t like it, but they do. It makes them wet as October.
    Lucius: That doesn’t answer.
    Pullo: Well, failing that, talk to her.
    Lucius: Talk? But of what?!
    Pullo: That doesn’t matter. It’s all about the tone of the voice. You pretend like you’re putting a saddle on a skittish horse. “There, honey. Shh, come now.” You know, that sort of thing.
    Lucius: That’s all?
    Pullo: What else?.. Oh! Tell her she is beautiful all the time. Tell her she’s beautiful every time you see her, even when she’s not.
    Lucius: And what else?
    Pullo: Oh! Also, very important... When you couple with her, there’s a spot just above her cunny... It’s like little button. Now, attend to that button, and she will open up like a flower.
    Lucius: How do you know this of her?!
    Pullo: ... All women have them! Ask anyone.

& Atia: I will kill Octavia, and Merula tends to me, but if she cannot, and I am taken alive, then you must kill me. And then you must kill yourself. Your survival would be inappropriate.
    Castor: I would not think of living, domina.
    Atia: Octavian, who would you prefer kills you?
    Octavian: I am old enough to take care of myself.

& Brutus: Gods. We... are in a damned awkward position. If we stay... we are declaring for Caesar, for rebellion. And if we go, we... We are with Pompey and the Senate. There is no middle ground. So what is the answer? Caesar is our dearest friend, but what he is doing is... I do not know.
    Servilia: You must decide.
    Brutus: ............ Pompey then. We must go with Pompey. The republic is more important than any friendship. Do you agree?
    Servilia: It’s your decision.
    Brutus: Pompey then.

& Servilia: I’ve waited eight years for Caesar. I cannot leave now.
    Brutus: You cannot stay, not if I go. {...} You... You are blinded by untapped lust. I’ll get you a good big Cyrenian at the market and have done with it!

& Pullo: What are they, the stars?
    Lucius: Stars? Holes in the celestial spheres. Holes through which the light of the heavens shine.
    Pullo: How big are these holes?
    Lucius: They’re big. They only seem small to us because they’re hundreds of miles away.
    Pullo: Big enough for a man to climb through?
    Lucius: I suppose. But man would never be able to get up there in the first place.
    Pullo: I don’t see why not.
    Lucius: How?
    Pullo: He could hold onto a giant bird.
Lucius: It doesn’t work like that.
    Pullo: Why not?
    Lucius: It’s philosophy. It’s hard to explain.

& Cato: Where is your man, Durio? He is long overdue now.
    Pompey: Durio is the best man I have. He won’t fail.
    Cato: But if not, what then? How do we pay the legions? How do we feed them?
    Pompey: I have not the least idea. You fret* like a woman, Cato. Durio will return with more than enough gold to feed and pay the legions. By any road we’ll be back in Rome before spring, so stop worrying.

& Lucius: It makes no sense. We should have been stopped by now. Why is Rome not defended?
    Pullo: Our boys scared ’em off, eh?
    Lucius: Soldiers of the republic do not run, so it must be a stratagem or trick.
    Pullo: Then it’s a good trick.
    Lucius: Unless the gods have abandoned Rome. If Mars was watching, he would not allow such a disgrace.
    Pullo: Well, maybe he was having a crap and missed it.
    Lucius: It’s that sort of disrespect that has led us to this sad pass. If the gods are not respected, hen why should they help us?

& Lucius: The city’s unguarded. It’s true then. The republic is fallen.
    Pullo: Yet the sky is still above us, and the earth still below. Strange.
    Lucius: The gods are in no hurry. They will take their time in tormenting* us.

& Pullo: What are you doing?
    Lucius: I have done my duty and I have sinned enough. I resign.
    Pullo: That’s desertion!
    Lucius: I am a traitor and a rebel. Why not a deserter as well?

& Mark Antony: I applaud you. You’re about to enter Rome as a bloodstained conqueror, and yet you look as calm as a cup of water.
    Caesar: I am glad I appear so.


-- Dict:
morose — угрюмый; мрачный
idle boast — пустое хвастовство
fret — беспокоиться; мучиться
tormenting — мучить; изводить


+ on Imdb.

! Niobe = Ilsa Pucci from the Human Target.