— We thought you might need this.
Becky: That better not be a box of condoms again and I didn’t even use the old one.
& Becky’s Mom: You had a dream, you know? Great. When you were eight, it was adorable. When you were 18, it was inspiring. At 28, it’s officially embarrassing. And I just want you to stop before we get to heartbreaking.
& Jerry Barnes: Oscar says you’re very talented and you work incredibly hard. Says you’re the most promising producer that he’s ever fired.
Becky: Well, that’s... that’s good. I think...
& Becky: OK. Is Daybreak a shitty show? Yes. But it’s on a network. And not just any network. This is one of the most legendary news divisions in the entire history of television! Daybreak just needs someone who believes in it, who understands that a national platform is an invaluable resource, that no story is too low or too high to reach for!..
Barnes: Are you gonna... sing?
& Lenny Bergman: ... Our morning meetings are at five.
Becky: Isn’t that kind of late?
Lenny: Late?
Becky: I mean, it’s just that... I’m, I’m used to early hours, so...
Lenny: Well, maybe we should try better doughnuts.
Becky: Excuse me. At the Today show, the senior staff is usually... Hi... in by 4:30...
Lenny: We’re just like the Today show, except, you know, without the money, viewers, respect. But very similar. {...} Colleen Peck has been here forever. Don’t mention that. But McVee is paid more. Don’t mention that, either. They hate each other. Don’t mention that. But that’s because Colleen hates everybody. Don’t mention that. And she used to sleep with McVee, who threw her over for her assistant.
Becky: Do not mention that. Got it.
& Colleen Peck: Mike was never gonna come to work at this little dog and pony show, especially not working for somebody like, well, I’m sorry, but you.
Becky: OK. Like, yeah.
Colleen: You? Not in a thousand years. I mean, obviously, don’t get me wrong, I would have... I would have welcomed him with open arms... Oh, my God. I heard he was coming in, but I didn’t...
Mike Pomeroy: I’ve won eight Peabodys. A Pulitzer. Sixteen Emmys. I was shot through the forearm in Bosnia. Pulled Colin Powell from a burning Jeep. I laid a cool washcloth on Mother Teresa’s forehead during a cholera epidemic. I’ve had lunch with Dick Cheney.
Becky: You’re here for the money.
Pomeroy: That is correct.
& Pomeroy: What's next? Bubble bath?
& Becky: Are you drunk?
Pomeroy: Insufficiently.
& Pomeroy: See this?
Becky: Yes. What is that?
Pomeroy: Forty-year-old Bruichladdich. I only drink this when I’m practically suicidal.
& Becky: Look, my radar for that kind of thing is so bad. I mean, I don’t know if a man’s interested in me until he’s naked. I mean, the pants come off and then I’m like, “I guess you don’t really want to see my CD collection or talk about Kerouac.”
Adam Bennett: You’re nuts.
& — Incoming.
— Jesus Christ, Pomeroy, they’re getting younger and younger.
Becky: Mike... I need to talk to you.
Pomeroy: Why? Is the baby mine?
& Becky: What are you doing?
Pomeroy: Have you ever seen a real egg? These are from pastured hens in Maryland.
Becky: We have to go!
Pomeroy: I have them delivered once a week.
Becky: We have to go!!
Pomeroy: Now, the beauty of a frittata is that it can be made with any ingredient. Anything that’s in your refrigerator.
Becky: Good. Get dressed.
Pomeroy: What? You want me to starve? I’ve got to be in tip-top shape. I’m going to appear on national television in front of... What, six or eight people? {...} What few people know is that the frittata was meant to be eaten at room temperature. It was invented in Italy... for the afternoon repast.
& Lenny: Where the hell have you been?
Becky: It’s a long story.
Pomeroy: She spent the night at my place.
Becky: Come on, everyone. I slept on the couch.
Pomeroy: Until I woke her up with my... African rain stick.
& Colleen: Try not to bore the nation into a coma with your dull news crap, OK?
Pomeroy: Yes, certainly. Oh, and... suck it.
& Becky: How reliable is your alarm clock?
& Becky: Is Ernie in place?
Lenny: Yes, he is. He’ll be interviewing people as they come off the coaster.
Becky: No, he won’t. Not anymore, he’s not. We’re gonna put him on that coaster. We’re gonna strap a handheld to the car in front of him and then go live. Boom. It’s called “picking up the game,” people. OK? So from now on, every single story that we do, it’s gonna have to be sensational! We’re gonna be more aggressive. We’re gonna work harder. And we’re gonna do it right now.
Lenny: Are, are you gonna?..
Becky: I’m not gonna sing! Why do people ask me that?
& Pomeroy: You’re worse than I am. You’d sleep at the office if you could. Let me tell you how it turns out. You end up with... with nothing. Nothing. Which is... which is what I had... till you came along.
Becky: Wait a second. Did you just say something nice to me?
Pomeroy: I told you I could banter*.
& Pomeroy: I need eggs.
Lenny: You need what?
Pomeroy: You know, from chickens. Eggs! Chinese people, move, move, move! Celery. Peppers. Cheese. Cheese.
— Mike, tell us what you need.
Pomeroy: I need a cutting board, good knife, nice plate, bowl, whisk*. What is this, rubber? Get me a real bowl. Where are my eggs?! Where are my goddamn eggs?!
— Eggs for Mike, please!
Becky: ... Oh, my God. What is he doing? Sorry, I just... This is... Mike Pomeroy is having a nervous breakdown on air. That’s kind of big news.
Pomeroy: ...a meal for their afternoon repast, something they could make using whatever ingredients they had available.
I’ve been making frittata for about 20 years now, ever since I was taught how to, on a naked weekend with a beautiful Italian movie star, who shall, of course, remain nameless. Occasionally, I make them at home. But only for people that I... People I really care about.
Now the key to a great frittata is a very hot pan, because that, my friends, is what makes it... fluffy*. We’ll let this firm up a little bit. Dash of pepper. ... We’ll give it a few seconds, then we’ll pop it in the hot oven.
... A little pepper. ...
Lenny: Stand by. He’s goin’ back to the oven.
Pomeroy: A lot of people like a glass of di Gavi. Gavi di Gavi, perhaps. I, myself, like a... Barolo. ... I’ll just free up the edges.
Next week on the show, I’ll show you how to make a fantastic beignet, which the rabble* like to call... doughnuts.
Colleen: The old bastard.
& Adam: You know, he’s still the third worst person in the world.
& “His gravity leavens the silliness of morning TV, making for an incongruous* but somehow perfect match. Turns out that after 40 years in the business, the real Mike Pomeroy has finally arrived.”
Pomeroy: Not bad. By the way, I’m getting my prostate checked next week. I thought... I’d take a crew with me.
Becky: That’s a great idea. We...
Pomeroy: Jesus, I’m kidding!
Becky: No, seriously, they have these little teeny, tiny cameras that go right up your...
Pomeroy: No, no, no!
Becky: What if we got you a body double?
Pomeroy: No!
Becky: No?
Pomeroy: Not in a thousand years.
--Dict:
banter — шутка; добродушное подшучивание
whisk — метелка; веничек; сбивалка
fluffy — пушистый; взбитый
rabble — чернь; сброд; толпа
incongruous — нелепый; неуместный
+ on Imdb.
! She's (Rachel McAdams) amazing. (Irene Adler in Sherlock Holmes, Clare in The Time Traveler's Wife, Della Frye in State of Play)
+ Harrison Ford as Mike Pomeroy & Diane Keaton as Colleen Peck.
+ Soundtrack is a special pleasure.
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