The Prestidigitation* Approximation
Season 4, Episode 18
& Leonard: Hey, can I ask you something?
Priya: Sure.
Leonard: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra. Was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
& Leonard: If I had contacts, I would have been the coolest Debate Club president ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.
Priya: If you had them on now, you could see what we’re going to do next.
Leonard: That... That’s okay. I can infer from context.
& Raj: Oh, cool!
Sheldon: Oh, it’s not cool. It’s a childish trick, designed to confuse and intrigue simpletons. How’d you do it?
Howard: A magician never reveals his secrets. But surely a future Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.
Sheldon: ... Fine. Give me a second.
Howard: You ever notice when he thinks real hard it smells like bacon?
& Penny: One, two, three, four, five. No way!
Howard: That’s your card, right?
Penny: Seven of clubs! That is amazing!
Sheldon: It’s not amazing. All magic tricks are merely a combination of manipulation and misdirection with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet.
& Howard: So how did I do it?
Sheldon: I don’t care how you did it. I have more important things to think about. ... Clearly, the cards are marked.
Howard: I thought you had more important things to think about.
Sheldon: I do. You just happened to have caught me on a break. Oh, let me see those cards.
Penny: Big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: “Not knowing is part of the fun.” Was that the motto of your community college?
& Howard: So you finally getting used to them doing it on a daily basis?
Penny: I’m not going out with him. He can sleep with whoever he wants.
Howard: Yeah, I was talking to Raj.
Penny: Oopsy.
& Sheldon: This deck is rigged in some fashion.
Howard: Fine. Get another deck and I’ll do the trick with that.
Sheldon: So you’re saying this is a regulation deck?
Howard: I’m saying believe in magic, you muggle.
& Penny: You know, well, I’m happy Leonard’s found someone. ... Not that anybody asked.
& Priya: How many Star Trek uniforms do you have?
Leonard: Just two: everyday and dress.
& Priya: Listen, we need to talk about something.
Leonard: Oh, my God, you’re breaking up with me! Why would you take me out shopping and then break up with me? That is so cruel!
& Penny: Hey, I think I know how you did the card trick.
Sheldon: Oh, please, if I don’t know, you don’t know. That’s axiomatic.
Penny: Come here. .........
Howard: You’re right.
Penny: Not too bad for someone who doesn’t know what “axiomatic” means.
& Penny: You know, I gotta tell you, I think you got a real winner with Priya.
Leonard: Yeah, me, too.
Penny: She seems really sweet. Believe me, you do not want to take that for granted. There are a lot of bitches out there.
Leonard: Yeah... bitches are the worst.
& Leonard: Uh, Penny, there’s something I have to tell you.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Okay, uh, how do I put this?.. Um... are you familiar with Darwin’s observation of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
& Leonard: All right, well, anyway, Darwin observed that when two groups of finches competed over the same food source, eventually one of them would evolve a different beak shape so they could feed on something else.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: So what do you think we can learn from that behavior that we can apply to our own lives?
Penny: Uh, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?
Leonard: ... Sure, that has birds in it.
Penny: It’s fun talking to you, Leonard, I always learn stuff.
& Leonard: Whatcha doin’?
Sheldon: I’m reverse engineering Wolowitz’s magic trick.
Leonard: What’s up with the infrared cameras?
Sheldon: I’m measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards to determine which one’s been touched. By the way, if you hope to have children, I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers. Your testicles look a tad warm.
& Leonard: Holy crap, are you connected to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory?
Sheldon: Yes. I’m using their Cray supercomputer to analyze shuffling patterns.
Leonard: Sheldon, that computer is used for national defense. Hacking into it is a federal crime.
Sheldon: Relax, we’re not under attack right now.
Leonard: Okay, I’m leaving before the black helicopters get here.
& Sheldon: Oh! Excuse me. I’m getting a text message completely unrelated to this magic trick. Oh, look, my dry cleaning’s ready. And your card was... the five of spades. Ta-da.
Raj: These cards have barcodes on them. The wand is a reader. It’s transmitting to your phone.
Sheldon: I said, “ta-da.” Show’s over.
& Raj: You ever gonna tell him?
Howard: Maybe... When it stops being fun.
Raj: So never.
& Penny: So, what’s up?
Leonard: Uh, I kind of have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.
Penny: Sure, anything.
Leonard: Move out.
& Penny: Okay, I’m not moving anywhere. What the hell is this all about?
Leonard: Why does it have to be about anything? Can’t a fella ask his buddy to relocate, no questions asked?
Penny: Oh, for God’s sake, Leonard, this is about Priya, isn’t it? She doesn’t want me hanging out with you.
Leonard: Yes. There, I said it.
& Raj: Why so glum*, chum*?
Sheldon: Apparently, you can’t hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling* to your mother.
--- Dict:
Prestidigitation — ловкость рук; показывание фокусов
glum — угрюмый
chum — приятель
tattling — сплетничать; судачить; болтать
On Imdb.
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