Going Postal (6/6)

Five

& Drumknott: Archchancellor Ridcully, my lord.
    Ridcully: This had better be important, I’m in the middle of an experiment!
    Vetinari: Involving a knife and fork, no doubt.
    Ridcully: I wouldn’t expect a layman to understand the pressures of university life.


& Vetinari: We have found a practical use for one of your magical devices.
    Ridcully: Have you?
    Vetinari: The object in question is...
    Drumknott: An Omniscope, my lord.
    Vetinari: Enabling us to see things at a distance, I believe.
    Ridcully: The Omniscope is a highly complex, very unstable piece of equipment.
    Vetinari: You mean, it doesn’t work?
    Ridcully: Well... Relatively speaking, it works.
    Vetinari: Excellent, kindly have it up and running by dawn tomorrow.
    Ridcully: Now, listen, magic is not some workmen’s tool that you can hire out by the hour.
    Vetinari: Just as well, because I wasn’t intending to pay you.


& Lipwig: Adora, just listen to me!
    Adora: Give me the crossbow.
    Lipwig: Those ledgers are the key to everything! Just hear me out. If you don’t like the plan, be my guest. Shoot.
    Adora: This had better be good.


& Lipwig: I need you to deliver some canvas* and ropes and rigging*.
    Groat: Rigging? Is this about boats, sir? Only I can’t do boats. I get very seasick.
    Lipwig: Not boats, Mr. Groat. Sails*. We are going to block out their message with a sail.
    Stanley: Block it out? Won’t they notice?
    Lipwig: Not if we put our own message in its place.
    Groat: Sorry, sir, could you run that by me again?
    Stanley: Yeah. I got a bit lost at... sail.


& Lipwig: I thought long and hard about an appropriate message. And then, I remembered how nice it is to receive a parcel. So, why not a book?.. The authorized, illustrated biography of Lord Vetinari.

---

& Lipwig: That’s what I love about the Dearhearts. Perfect alignment*.


& Lipwig: Time to create some interference.


& Lipwig: Adora... I don’t suppose... now would be a good time to ask you something?
    Adora: Well, I can hardly walk away.
    Lipwig: Will you marry me?


& Trooper: Nice you have you with us again, sir. Same last words as before?
    Lipwig: Actually, I’m rather hoping there’ll be a different outcome this time.


& Reacher: The clacks has won.
    Trooper: Never mind, sir. It could be worse.
    Lipwig: How, exactly?
    Trooper: Well, we’ve got a good crowd, lots of press. They’d even promised me a review in “What Gallows*?”.


& Lipwig: My last words! I haven’t had my last words.
    Vetinari: If he must.


& Adora: Is that as sore as it looks?
    Lipwig: Oh, it’s not the first time I’ve been hanged.
    Adora: A bad habit to get into.
    Lipwig: I’ll tell you what, I’ll give up hanging if you give up smoking.


& Lipwig: Adora... those things I said on the gallows when I was staring death in the face about the gentlest touch of all. You do know I meant every word?
    Adora: Yes. It’s amazing the rubbish* some people spout* when they’re trying to save their lives.


& Adora: Of course, we can’t do this.
    Lipwig: What now?
    Adora: Conflict of interest. You’re the Post Office, I’m the clacks. We’re rivals.
    Lipwig: Which throws up some very interesting possibilities of a corporate merger, don’t you think?
    Adora: Maybe.
    Lipwig: Well, I’d certainly like to get my hands on your assets.
    Adora: Keep your hands as far away from my assets as humanly possible.



-- Dict:
layman — мирянин; непрофессионал
canvas — холст; полотно; паруса
rigging — оснастка; такелаж
sail — парус
alignment — выравнивание; согласование
Gallows — виселица
rubbish — вздор; чушь; ерунда; белиберда
spout — разглагольствовать; извергать; ораторствовать


+ on Imdb.



__ The pleasure's all ours.

+ Claire Foy aka Adora Belle Dearheart. She's cute.