Downton Abbey 3×8

Mr. Carson: I cannot hide that I find your situation revolting, but whether or not you believe me, I am not entirely unsympathetic. You have been twisted by nature into something foul, and even I can see that you did not ask for it.

Isobel Crawley: I couldn't manage an 18-year-old. Not these days. I wouldn't know what she was talking about.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: My husband was a great traveler, so I have spent many happy evenings without understanding a word. The thing is to keep smiling and never look as if you disapprove.

James Kent: I've been thinking I ought to report him to the police.
Mr. Carson: What?
James Kent: It's my duty. I know today thinking is much more liberal...
Mr. Carson: Now, just a minute. I've never been called a liberal in my life and I don't intend to start now. But I do not believe in scandal.

Isobel Crawley: Cousin Violet is trying to find a new job for my cook.
Lady Rose MacClare: That sounds rather inconvenient.
Isobel Crawley: Cousin Violet has never let a matter of convenience stand in the way of a principle. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: As the kettle said to the pot...

Anna Bates: ... together I think we can make it really comfy.
John Bates: What do they call extreme optimism?
Anna Bates: They call it "making the best of things," and that is what we'll do.
Mrs. Hughes: I know you're leaving, but things can't be as black as all that. You're trained now. You could apply for a position as a butler.
Thomas Barrow: You don't know everything, then.
Mrs. Hughes: Then will you tell me everything?
Thomas Barrow: I'm afraid if I do, Mrs. Hughes, that it will shock and disgust you.
Mrs. Hughes: Shock and disgust? My, my. I think I have to hear it now. Come on....

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Branson won't play.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Mr. Branson is busy at the moment.
Mr. Carson: Is he, m'lady? Might I point out that we're all busy, but we still find time to support the honor of the house.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Yes. But that is not the right road to travel, Carson, if we want to remain in her ladyship's good graces.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: But why is Mr. Carson? It's not as if none of us knew.
I think the point is we didn't know officially. That's what Mr. Carson finds hard. He can't avoid the subject any longer because it's lying there on the mat.

Matthew Crawley: This is like the outer circle from Dante's Inferno.
Lady Rosamund Painswick: The outer circle?

Lady Rose MacClare: But you know, he's... He's terribly unhappy, and it's not his fault at all. His wife is absolutely horrid...
Matthew Crawley: Married men who wish to seduce young women always have horrid wives.

Lady Rose MacClare: Why are you helping me?
Matthew Crawley: I'm on the side of the downtrodden.

Lady Mary Crawley: He says I'm to get in touch with him in six months' time, but that I'll be pregnant before then. So now we can start making babies.

Tom Branson: Shall I tell you how I look at it?... Every man or woman who marries into this house, every child born into it, has to put their gifts at the family's disposal. I'm a hard worker and I have some knowledge of the land. Matthew knows the law and the nature of business.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Which I do not.
Tom Branson: You understand the responsibilities we owe to the people round here, those who work for the estate and those that don't. It seems to me if we could manage to pool all of that, if we each do what we can do, then Downton has a real chance.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: You are very eloquent. You are a good spokesman for Matthew's vision. Better than he has been, recently.

Mr. Carson: And if Mr. Barrow is to stay on, what would he be? My valet?
Mrs. Hughes: You can make him under butler. Then your dinners will be grand enough for Chu Chin Chow, and he can apply to be a butler when he does leave.
John Bates: But that would make him my superior.
Mr. Carson: I don't know. Under butler, head valet. There's not much in it.

Anna Bates: By the way, what was that phrase he gave you to say to Miss O'Brien? You can tell me now, surely?
John Bates: If you keep it under your hat. It was, "Her ladyship's soap."
Anna Bates: What?
John Bates: I can't make any sense of it either, but that's what he said. "Her ladyship's soap." And it worked.

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