Snoopin' Around and the Wonder Twins of Atheism

Young Sheldon 5×2

Adult Sheldon: Sundays were not my favorite day. In fact, the only light at the end of the tunnel was the wry musings of Andy Rooney at the end of 60 Minutes.
Andy Rooney: Noise is sound you don't want to hear. And of course, one person's sound is another person's noise.
Sheldon: So wry...

Pastor Jeff: Back to Moses. He was found by Pharaoh's daughter and went on to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, because even when you feel lost, God has a plan for us all.
Missy: What was his plan for the male babies who didn't get rescued?
Pastor Jeff: It's tough to say.
Sheldon: There was a decree to throw them in the river.
Missy: Innocent babies?
Billy: That is not cool.
Pastor Jeff: That was Pharaoh, that was not God.
Sheldon: But according to you, it's all part of God's plan. How do you sleep at night?

Pastor Jeff: Okay, we're gonna revisit getting me some help with Sunday school.
Mary: I am ready, willing, and...
Pastor Jeff: Nope. I want someone who can really connect with the kids.
Mary: But connecting with the kids is what I do!
Peggy: What planet are you on?

Connie: Thank God you were with him.
Brenda: Well, I-I wouldn't say I was "with him."
Connie: You weren't?
Brenda: I was there, and he was there, and other people were there...

Missy: She's jealous.
Sheldon: You know it's bad when I can see it.

Missy: Do you believe in God?
Georgie: Yeah.
Missy: But in the Bible, he does all kinds of mean stuff. If he's good, why would he do that?
Georgie: Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. Hulk Hogan's nice, but in the ring, he will mess you up.
Missy: That's either really smart or really stupid.
Georgie: That's what I do.

Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up?
Georgie: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.
Missy: But how do you know there's a God?
Georgie: See that girl dancing in them shorts?... There's a God.

Missy: I was hoping we could talk about atheism... What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.
Missy: I don't know. It seems a little scary to just stop believing.
Sheldon: Well, is it more comforting to believe in a God who could flood the world and kill everyone because he had a bad day?
Missy: That's a good point. But doesn't it upset people when you say you don't believe?
Sheldon: Oh, yeah.
Missy: And that doesn't bother you?
Sheldon: Does it bother you when you upset people?
Missy: I couldn't care less.
Sheldon: Welcome to atheism.

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