Was It Your Ears?

Avenue 5 1×6

Karen Kelly: Two options. One, murder. And two, and I know I keep looping back to this... murder.

Herman Judd: Vacuum extraction! My idea! We're gonna suck a person out of this person!

Ryan Clark: Presumably, it's a warning of some kind.
Billie McEvoy: Well, yes, you don't usually have a recurring beep to tell you everything's going just fine.

Herman Judd: Man, they really love that baby, huh?
Matt Spencer: Yeah, babies are like New Zealanders. Everyone loves them and the funny way they talk.

Ryan Clark: The running out of air, is it as bad as they say? Or not as bad?
Billie McEvoy: Yeah, it's bad. I mean, like, first you get, like, a grittiness in your eyes, then your tongue is literally gonna boil in your mouth before you just pass out and you just never wake up again.
Spike Martin: Don't forget the organ failure.
Ryan Clark: Oh, I almost forgot the organ failure.

Ryan Clark: Iris, you should prepare to enjoy your last moments of happiness, because we think we may have an oxygen leak.

Ryan Clark: Do we have enough to get home?
Spike Martin: It depends. Vigorous activity would drain this turkey in no time. I'm talking exercise, singing, lovemaking, if you're doing it right...

Matt Spencer: I think it's about what your inner voice is telling you about yourself.
Herman Judd: What is it saying? The one I'm using now?
Matt Spencer: No, the voice inside your head.
Herman Judd: Oh, no, my thoughts connect instantaneously with my mouth. It's extremely efficient. Clinically, it's probably very unique.

Herman Judd: Good morning and so forth. Mm-hmm.
Iris Kimura: Oh, Mr. Judd...
Herman Judd: Great. Shall we begin this meeting forthwith heretofore, please?

Herman Judd: Mm-mm. I never say sorry. Like my hero, Gandhi.

Herman Judd: So, I have figured out a way to re-perceive the turd sleeve around this ship. Three words: theatrical lighting rig.
Ryan Clark: And here's five: what, what, and why? Uh... No, that's four. Fuck, I'm so tired. Jesus.

Karen Kelly: ...bearing in mind the scarcity of resources, can we try to keep lang' at an abs' min'?
Iris Kimura: Wh... What are you saying?
Karen Kelly: I am trying to conserve oxygen by... 'bridging my w'rds.
Iris Kimura: Well, it's highly, highly confusing.
Karen Kelly: You see, you did not need the second "highly," one would've s'ff'c'd. Would... Sufficed.
Ryan Clark: Jesus frazzling Christ! Can we skip the missing letters round?
Herman Judd: I've just reconsidered your earlier point, re: an apology. S'ry.

Mia: Question: are we really running out of air? Supplemental: what the fuck?
Herman Judd: Yes! To your first question. I don't know how to answer your second question.

Ryan Clark: Well, we could double the dose? He might have a stroke, then you'll only be physically wiping his ass.

Karen Kelly: Now, honey, I have an update for you, and I don't want you to go all flappy on me... The ship is leaking oxygen. From what I understand, it will be like drowning with dirt in your mouth and a tractor on your chest.

Karen Kelly: So don't talk. Because then you will last marginally longer. Attaboy.

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Ryan Clark: I actually want lots and lots and lots of sedatives.
Matt Spencer: Look, my area of expertise is pretty limited. It's basically recreational barbiturates, Eastern sex practices, Christmas music.

Matt Spencer: I do know suffering, and you're suffering. So I just need a little bit more information to make sure I'm not causing more harm than I'm fixing.
Ryan Clark: I was bullied at school.
Matt Spencer: Was it your ears?
Ryan Clark: What? No! What do you mean? What's wrong with my ears?
Matt Spencer: Nothing. But that is what I would go in on, if I was bullying you. I'd make you self-conscious about something that isn't even a thing because it makes you question your sanity. Ain't that right, you jar-eared Dumbo fuck?!

Ryan Clark: Take two of these, it's like you've died and gone to the opera.
Billie McEvoy: All right, so give me one because I'm so tired that my hair hurts me.

Herman Judd: We will plug this leak. But until we do, you must remain breathing steadily to minimize all oxygen usage. And cut out all unnecessary conversation. No sighing, no gasping, no unnecessary sneezing, no flouncing. If you have to be passive aggressive, do it only with your eyes. Relax... But do remain breathing calmly. That is now a legal requirement. Thanks, gang.

Spike Martin: No, no, no, wait. This is recorded. That's... that's not the actual beep. That's the actual beep.

Jordan Hatwal: Okay, I'm gonna tell a joke now. The setup is that there are three men of three different nationalities. I won't tell you which nationalities, 'cause otherwise you might find it amusing. The punchline is that one of the men in the joke is considerably more parsimonious than the other two men in the joke. Thus concludes the joke.

Ryan Clark: You have to think before you speak. And then, think again. And then think, "I shouldn't speak." And then, don't speak.

Herman Judd: And... light 'em up!

Billie McEvoy: It is beautiful... Until you really think about it.
Ryan Clark: Who knew shit could be so enchanting?...
Herman Judd: Me. I did. I knew.
Matt Spencer: He's transformed the most disgusting thing imaginable into a kaleidoscope of butt truffles!
Ryan Clark: Well, you gotta say, he knows his audience.

Ryan Clark: Okay, it's over. The nightmare is over. This... this part of the nightmare is over.

Matt Spencer: Congratulations. Why don't you give yourself a little pat on the back, or the ass? Give your ass a little squeeze, and then... go make love to yourself in a sleazy motel. You earned it.
Herman Judd: You're really fucking weird, dude.

Matt Spencer: Your ears are beautiful. To me.

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