Captain Klenzendorf: Hey. Heil Hitler, everyone. So a little about me. Who am I? And why am I here talking to a bunch of little titty-grabbers instead of leading my men into battle towards glorious death? Great question. I've asked it myself every day since Operation Screw Up where I lost a perfectly good eye in a totally preventable enemy attack. And according to my superiors, you need two eyes to be a meaningful part of the war effort.
Captain Klenzendorf: This is your first step towards being men. Today you boys will be involved in such activities as marching, bayonet drills, grenade-throwing, trench-digging, map-reading, gas defense, camouflage, ambush techniques, war games, firing guns, and blowing stuff up... The girls will practice important womanly duties such as dressing wounds, making beds, and learning... how to get pregnant.
— Aw.
Fräulein Rahm: I've had 18 kids for Germany. Such a great year to be a girl.
Adolf: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... The rabbit is no coward. The humble little bunny faces a dangerous world every day, hunting carrots for his family, for his country.
Adolf: Let me give you some really good advice... Be the rabbit. The humble bunny can outwit all of his enemies. He's brave and sneaky and strong. Be the rabbit.
Fräulein Rahm: O-M Gott. He looks like a Picasso painting.
Jojo: I don't want to go out there.
Rosie: What? Don't be silly. Of course you do.
Jojo: I look stupid. People will stare.
Rosie: Enjoy the attention, kid. Not everyone's lucky enough to look stupid. I, for one, am cursed to look incredibly attractive.
Jojo: What are we gonna do about that Jew?
Adolf: You think of something.
Jojo: Oh, now I'm the expert?!
Adolf: No, what I mean is this: make her feel safe and then she'll drop her guard and then you will be the one in control.
Jojo: Reverse psychology!
Adolf: Don't complicate things. Just use my backwards mind power trick, and everything will be fine.
Jojo: Tell me everything about the Jewish race.
Elsa: Okay. We're like you, but human.
Jojo: How dare you, Jew! You are weak like an eyelash. I am born of Aryan ancestry. My blood is the color of a pure red rose. And my eyes are blue like...
Elsa: Break free. Break free, great Aryan. There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't even grow a full mustache.
Jojo: You aren't eating.
Rosie: No. I am not that hungry. I might eat later. For now, I am just going to chew on these grapes.
Jojo: So, I'd like you to draw a picture of where Jews live. Where you all eat, sleep, and where the queen Jew lays the eggs.
Jojo: I said to draw where Jews live. This is just a stupid picture of my head.
Elsa: Yeah, that's where we live.
Jojo: I'm way too busy for a girlfriend.
Elsa: One day, you'll make time... You'll think of nothing else. You'll meet someone and spend your days dreaming of the moment you can hold them in your arms again. That's love.
Jojo: Beethoven.
Elsa: Einstein.
Jojo: Bach.
Elsa: Gershwin.
Jojo: Brahms. Wagner. Mozart.
Elsa: Musicians, is that all you have?
Jojo: ... Rilke!
Elsa: Oh, yeah, of course. Your favorite, Rilke. Jewish mother.
Jojo: Dietrich, then.
Elsa: Houdini.
Jojo: No! That's impossible.
Elsa: Believe it, brother. Just ask Pissarro, Modigliani, Man Ray, Gertrude Stein, Mr. Moses and the king of them all, Jesus Christi. Amen.
Jojo: Well, you're just saying any old name now. I've never heard of these people and now I'm fed up.
Adolf: Can I give you some really good advice? When you see what's in her mind and where she's trying to make you go in your mind, in your mind, you must go the other way. Get what I'm saying? Do not let her put you in a brain prison.
Captain Klenzendorf: So, did I miss anything?
Captain Deertz: No, no. We were just Heil Hitlering the boy and then Heil Hitlering yourself and then, of course, Heil Hitlering Freddy Finkel and now we are in the midst of a routine inspection.
Elsa: Is it dangerous out there?
Jojo: Extremely.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
Σ nostradamvs: «Совершенно чудесный антифашистский фильм, милый, добрый, невероятно смешной и чудовищно печальный...»
Σ mi3ch: «Хороший фильм. Обязателен к просмотру для любителей зарницы, строевой песни и патриотического воспитания молодежи.»
Captain Klenzendorf: This is your first step towards being men. Today you boys will be involved in such activities as marching, bayonet drills, grenade-throwing, trench-digging, map-reading, gas defense, camouflage, ambush techniques, war games, firing guns, and blowing stuff up... The girls will practice important womanly duties such as dressing wounds, making beds, and learning... how to get pregnant.
— Aw.
Fräulein Rahm: I've had 18 kids for Germany. Such a great year to be a girl.
Adolf: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... The rabbit is no coward. The humble little bunny faces a dangerous world every day, hunting carrots for his family, for his country.
Adolf: Let me give you some really good advice... Be the rabbit. The humble bunny can outwit all of his enemies. He's brave and sneaky and strong. Be the rabbit.
Fräulein Rahm: O-M Gott. He looks like a Picasso painting.
Jojo: I don't want to go out there.
Rosie: What? Don't be silly. Of course you do.
Jojo: I look stupid. People will stare.
Rosie: Enjoy the attention, kid. Not everyone's lucky enough to look stupid. I, for one, am cursed to look incredibly attractive.
Jojo: What are we gonna do about that Jew?
Adolf: You think of something.
Jojo: Oh, now I'm the expert?!
Adolf: No, what I mean is this: make her feel safe and then she'll drop her guard and then you will be the one in control.
Jojo: Reverse psychology!
Adolf: Don't complicate things. Just use my backwards mind power trick, and everything will be fine.
Jojo: Tell me everything about the Jewish race.
Elsa: Okay. We're like you, but human.
Jojo: How dare you, Jew! You are weak like an eyelash. I am born of Aryan ancestry. My blood is the color of a pure red rose. And my eyes are blue like...
Elsa: Break free. Break free, great Aryan. There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't even grow a full mustache.
Jojo: You aren't eating.
Rosie: No. I am not that hungry. I might eat later. For now, I am just going to chew on these grapes.
Jojo: So, I'd like you to draw a picture of where Jews live. Where you all eat, sleep, and where the queen Jew lays the eggs.
Jojo: I said to draw where Jews live. This is just a stupid picture of my head.
Elsa: Yeah, that's where we live.
Jojo: I'm way too busy for a girlfriend.
Elsa: One day, you'll make time... You'll think of nothing else. You'll meet someone and spend your days dreaming of the moment you can hold them in your arms again. That's love.
Jojo: Beethoven.
Elsa: Einstein.
Jojo: Bach.
Elsa: Gershwin.
Jojo: Brahms. Wagner. Mozart.
Elsa: Musicians, is that all you have?
Jojo: ... Rilke!
Elsa: Oh, yeah, of course. Your favorite, Rilke. Jewish mother.
Jojo: Dietrich, then.
Elsa: Houdini.
Jojo: No! That's impossible.
Elsa: Believe it, brother. Just ask Pissarro, Modigliani, Man Ray, Gertrude Stein, Mr. Moses and the king of them all, Jesus Christi. Amen.
Jojo: Well, you're just saying any old name now. I've never heard of these people and now I'm fed up.
Adolf: Can I give you some really good advice? When you see what's in her mind and where she's trying to make you go in your mind, in your mind, you must go the other way. Get what I'm saying? Do not let her put you in a brain prison.
Captain Klenzendorf: So, did I miss anything?
Captain Deertz: No, no. We were just Heil Hitlering the boy and then Heil Hitlering yourself and then, of course, Heil Hitlering Freddy Finkel and now we are in the midst of a routine inspection.
Elsa: Is it dangerous out there?
Jojo: Extremely.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
Σ nostradamvs: «Совершенно чудесный антифашистский фильм, милый, добрый, невероятно смешной и чудовищно печальный...»
Σ mi3ch: «Хороший фильм. Обязателен к просмотру для любителей зарницы, строевой песни и патриотического воспитания молодежи.»
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