Thinking Out Loud

Inside No. 9 5×5

Bill: Hello, my name's Bill Ryland. I'm 65 years young and I'm looking to meet someone special for long walks, nice chats, cosy nights in, and sexual intercourse— I can say that, can't I? Er, you have to be a woman, just to make that clear.

Bill: I don't have too many requirements, although I did write a few things down, just to... narrow the search. Um... No big girls, no Eastern Europeans, no pensioners, no loonies, no lefties, no Liverpudlians and no lady-boys. Anyone else, feel free to contact me via the website thingy.

Galen: ... Then she starts striking me about the head, madder than a mule chewin' on a bumblebee - what you folks might nowadays call "domestic abuse".

Angel: .... I have got the mother, the mama, the madre of all Storytimes for you. Here goes. So, last Tuesday, I'd done a three-hour social media blackout as a fundraiser for... charity. So I hadn't looked at my phone, Insta, Twitter, nothing at all, since 10am. I know, right?! When I put my phone back on, all hell breaks loose.

Angel: So I'm reading this and feeling all these different emojis, and somewhere, from my sub-sub-conscience, I get a voice telling me...

Galen: She promised to give me a piece of her mind... and I'm here to collect.

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