Death Be Not Proud

Inside No. 9 5×2

Beattie: Oh, and you now believe what estate agents say, do you?
Sam: I believe we've got a quarter of a million pound flat at half the price.

Maureen Sowerbutts: You're going to have to learn how to do all these things for yourself when I'm gone.
David Sowerbutts: Don't say that.
Maureen Sowerbutts: Well, you will. What did your scoutmaster used to say to you?
David Sowerbutts: Don't tell anyone.
Maureen Sowerbutts: Yeah... Not that.
David Sowerbutts: Be prepared.
Maureen Sowerbutts: You need to be equipped with essential life skills.
David Sowerbutts: I am! Left, right, stalagmites, stalactites, cos mites crawl up and tights hang down.

David: I wish I could kill Death. Then he wouldn't be able to kill you.
Maureen: You can't have a world without Death, David. He finds you in the end.

David: I need a wee. Would you like to come with me?
Emily: Yes, please.

David: You've got superpowers!... Could you go and watch the Queen doing a poo?
Maureen: Yeah, I have done... She takes ages!

Emily: I'd like to have a baby. Shall we make one?
David: Yeah, all right. But normal sized, though, and not with a beard.

Maureen: No, David. I'm your mother. Mothers don't leave their sons.

Maureen: Baby John! He reminds me of you, David. Big, fat, simple face and a stinky bum.

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