The One Thing We Don't Talk About

You're the Worst 5×3

Gretchen: And you have to bang on your wedding night. Like how if you break a mirror, your grandmother's ghost sees you masturbate.

Jimmy: Uh, is this a prank? This can't be the price for a single event!
Gretchen: Just put it on a credit card...

Jimmy: Seventy?! How do you remember to pay off 70 credit cards each month?
Gretchen: You don't need to pay off credit cards. When one stops working, you just get another.
Jimmy: Um, how much do you owe, like, in total?
Gretchen: Who cares? It's not real. It's just some numbers on a computer somewhere.
Jimmy: Why have you never told me of your debt before?!
Gretchen: Honey, it's our debt now.

Gretchen: Please, Jimmy. I can take care of myself.... Which way is my job?

Lindsay: Ooh! You're hiring the new Gretch today?
Gretchen: Trying to. These Post-Millennials with their high GPAs and multiple internships, as if being smart and working for years for free means you deserve an actual job.

Gretchen: What is the one thing we don't talk about?!
Lindsay: Politics. Math. That one crow who has it out for you. What happened between you and Matthew Perry. Coachella— Your bitch mom.

Jimmy: I've come to the realization that there is some value in experiencing the same story in a secondary, inferior medium. Like when you roast a delicious hen, then boil the bones to make a soup.

Edgar: That's good. Remember your soup metaphor?
Jimmy: Soup? Soup isn't food. It's just bone water.

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